The Late Great Okey Geffin ‘Meisa’s’ get better…….a few of the ‘Wakker’ Manne , including Okey’s Zunnelle Ronnie, my Boet, Monty etc…Okey NEVER played with Fanie Kuun, so it must have been Chris Koch, who is rated as Tukka the Iron man of front rowers of Bok Rugger of all times….Ronnie’s relates another story from his Late dad, Okey… “He used to have Gert Dannhauser locking behind him and he used to pull Okey’s pants and say “Maak oop” so Okey would pull the opposing props head into the right position – after asking Okey a number of times to Maak Oop Okey thought a bus was coming through. Next thing he kicked the bugger in the head and Okey thought that he was killed. The All Black got up from the scrum shaking his head and said who punched me? Gert’s reply was “nou ons in die kak, hy lewe nog!’”….these are stories of Legends of the Souff Effrikken Boks (Okey just happened to be a ‘Yiddisher’ player, which really gives a good sound to it)…..

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various  brewing organizations retire to the bar at the end of the day.
 Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: "In Australia , we make  the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate."
 Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the  king of them all - gimme a Bud."
 Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented beer. Give me un Helles, ze REAL King of beers."
 Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, follows by stating that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of foam on top.
 Norman, chairman of SAB, is next: "Barman, give me a diet Coke with  ice and lemon please."
The other four stare at him in stunned silence, then Bruce asks:
 "Aren't you going to have a Castle, Norm?"
 Norman replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, then neither  am I.”

Highlands North High School are having there annual Golf Day at the Wanderers Club on the 24th. November…….for all those that tell me they want to support the ‘School’…here is the chance…Graeme Joffe of the Traffic Joke fame on 94.7 will be the MC and Cliff Garrun, Chairman of the Governing body says they have a GR8888 day organized…See http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php for details.

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week company training session.
 Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!" The woman smiles quietly as she leaves. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, how was the trip?"
 "Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?" "Which present?"
She asked. "The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!" "Oh, that!" she said.
,"Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!"

My Zululand correspondent, Cecil Sher ( ex Lichtenbyrg) sent me some aerial pitures of the new stadium, which is going to be E-mazing…….The Arch going over the Stadium has been designed so that up the one side a Cable Car will take you to the top, and the other side is a ‘Do it yourself’ walk up…..they are also planning an underground link with the Beach…should be huge tourist attraction, even beyond the the Sokka 2010 Cup Final…quite odd is that the opening at the Top , remebles a ‘Rugger’ ball and not a Sokka Ball…are the Sharks going to move over from Kingsmead….???? See http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. 
Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell."
The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!"
The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam"
The guy, with an enraged look on his face, shouted,
"You mean you have no idea who I am?"
The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are."
With that, the guy said "Good!" plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other student's exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room! (Ot Azay…).

Got an E-mail from ‘BOB’ Borowsky, and he has just celebtaed his 80th…Happy Birthday and many more…….”We have  just had a great concert with orchestra at the Central Shul featuring Chazen Helfgott & conductor Dr. Sobol . It was a magic evening - Helfgott was unbelievable finishing with Nessun Dorma from Turandot . He then davened on Friday night & Sat. morning & sang everything - the top notes never ending!!  What a weekend!! His chazones is unbelievable  I sang the baritone aria from La Traviata at the concert . It went well & TG the voice is in good shape  Shirley & I celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary on Aug18  We feel very blessed. Mazeltov to Bob & Shirley. Bob & his late Brother Jules plus the Late  Sacks Broers , Abe & Jules were the best Baritones around, and these days, we have very few in the ‘Beloved Country’…it was an art…Well done Bob, and your MANY Garden Chuppah’s at Simcha’s will never be forgotten …..
 
Advertisement in a Long Island Shop:
Guitar for sale....... Cheap....... ....no strings attached.
Ad in Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board: 
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking, I give Up Reading
 My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses.
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off
Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You, Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance.' Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Quite E-mazing how virtually everyone I have searched for has been found, BUT…last week I was looking for a Smookler, and nothing turned up.;
Patricia Wilson (Israel) is looking for family of hers with the same spelling as mine originally from London ( SMOOKLER)
I am trying to contact Michael b. 1942 I believe his wife is Sheryl, and Jeremy b 1956. - I believe they are the sons of the late Gerald Smookler and his wife Edith, last known address Heathfield Gdns, N.W.11. Gerald had siblings - Joseph and Hilda Polly, their parents were Morris and Sarah. If anyone knows of the family, please let me know …. smookler@netactive.co.za .. They are especially trying to make contact with Jospeh Smookler or any relations /friends that might be of assistance……… last week, Doreen got contact with her 60 year ago friend…see what you can do……..! ! ! !!  ! ! !

A man returns home a day early from a long weekend of golf.
 It's after midnight. While on route home he asks the cabbie if he would be a witness... ??? The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For R100 the Caddie agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and Caddie tip-toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and here is his wife in bed with another man! The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head
The wife shouts,
'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
HE paid for the Corvette I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season rugby tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly rent!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the Caddie and says, 'What would you do?'
The Caddie replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before HE catches a cold

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’  at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Sincere condolences to the whole Cohen family on the passing of their beloved Archie ….Archie was the ‘Tatta’ of Paul, Dennis (my old Stan & Pete partner) and Lester in Seattle (married to Barbara Kotzen –Lichtenburg). Archie was in his 91st year, and has fought his last battle bravely, and goes to rest with his Beloved ‘Tin Hats’….Arch was a GR888 follower of the Tin hats (Moths) and was never seen without his blazer………Arch had been through soooo many life experiences from his early days in Leslie, to a POW in the second world war, etc, etc….He leaves his beloved wife Natalie of 60 years  plus, 3 kids , grandchildren & great grandchildren ……..Of all Arch’s stories , when I visited him, the best was the one about Sokka…….First thing I would say is ; Arch are you watching the ‘Rugger’ , and he would reply. In Std 6 at Leslie Hoer Skool they forced us to give up ‘Sokka’ and take on Rugger, in the Schools (Nats) and he never ever showed an interest in Rugger again  ….Loved his Sokka…….To a real Mentch, who ‘Tukka’ had a GR8888 innings……May Your Dear Soul rest in peace.
You will be missed.

I was asked by the family of the Late Shirley Coblentz to put in a notice about her passing away ths week….friends and family please feel free to contact the family…..Sincere condolences to the whole family….
“Shirley (nee' Wolf) Coblentz worked as secretary to the late Chief Rabbi Louis Rabinowitz, was secretary to the Oxford Shul and to Rabbi Bernard and then worked for many years with the late Harry Hurwitz at The Jewish Herald.  She was quiet and unassuming and never spoke about the details of her work or achievements.At the age of 59, while living in South Africa, she was invited to follow Harry Hurwitz to take on a special job in Israel. She made Aliyah and became the English secretary in the Prime Minister’s Office. She served Menachem Begin, Yitzchak Shamir, Yitzchak Rabin and Shimon Peres. She received an award during this time and was able to move from working on a typewriter to using a computer when she was already in her seventies, even buying a home computer and became a proficient user of word processing applications. After leaving Government Service, she worked tirelessly towards the establishment of the Menachem Begin Heritage Foundation (http://www.begincenter.org.il/en/Article.aspx?CID=8083). She finally retired at age 83. Up until last week (at age 89) she played a mean game of Scrabble and Rummikub, beating most opponents.  Shirley passed away in Jerusalem on Sunday, 6 September, with her loving children, Cecil (Ya'akov) Coblentz (coblentz@bezeqint.net) and Barbara Abramowitz (abro@netvision.net.il), and grandchildren at her side. She was buried on Monday in the Gush Etzion cemetery. “ MHDSRIP. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Did a Locum at the Greenblatt / Brenner wedding last week….and it was one of those ‘Gaseners’ that just had everything, and went down very well, with a very ‘Lebbedike’ crowd of Youngsters (Cannot call them ‘Kinderlach’)…..The Hall looked superb, and the Marathon Man (Johnny Birin) was again in attendance, and the crowd never stopped dancing and to top a GR8888 evening, they had the Shikker Merchants’ (Liquid Chefs) doing a shooter bar……quite E-mazing that the Chossen Ashley Brenner & his parents Alan & Michelle stayed in Rosemount, Knox Street, Waverley nearly 30 years ago, and the Brenners moved to Oz……..I have also done many functions for Sharon Greenblatt , the Kallah Robyn’s Mom…….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..
See ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Got some pictures from an ‘Ou,Ou’ Gaver, Dudley Zagnoev, who used to run the accountants league Sokka etc in the EARLY seventies , and has been in the USofA for MANY years, and his Late Father in Law had ‘Plotty’s’ Deli near Loveday Street in town, ‘Amolikke Yoren’…..

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;  http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week; With a few ‘Yomtavim’ still ahead of us; When walking home from Shul, always try and walk in groups…. Always try and walk facing on coming traffic…. When it is dark, it is ‘Criminal’ not to wear some kind of ‘reflectors’… Always have a bit of ID on you, even a piece of paper with your Name and a contact number…. Always remember that the ‘Gunovim’ do not realize that even though you are wearing smart Yomtov clothes, you have nothing of value on you….. Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time………… Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website : http://www.stantgsm.com Have a peaceful, restful  Shabbos….… From  Stan and the Clan. smookler@netactive.co.za PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate ) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!  Cell  082-4547860 Do you need a professional website? Do you want to convert your website traffic into sales using Google? Contact RAW Media Concepts on: Tel- +27 11 786 1170 or visit our website www.rawmedia.co.za

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book…. CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut   www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…

Check out the new Archive Section on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas

Click here to view