Good Shabbos

Migrating to Australia? Click here!

GOOD SHABBOS
10 June 2010

Dear All,

The weather has been ‘Bakgat’ (GR888888888………….) and if it stays mild like this it will be a ‘Michel’ for the Sokka 2010 World Cup…….BUT, the rain clouds are looming today…?? GEEEEEEEEEES – Feel it, it is here…….

The Rugger test against the Welsh was a very entertaining Test, with a lot of scoring, BUT….very little GR8888 play by any Shpielers on both teams…..Rousouw is not my favourite, BUT…played very well, and never stopped….January should not get into the Boks on this form and he is a very dirty player and will cost us points in the future….Now that Fourie Du Preez is OUT for the rest of 2010, they reckon that PDV will use Ricky…Mmmmmm , I suppose we need COLOUR in the team, and the Coloureds must be VERY proud, as they have made the ‘Circle Beeeeeger’, and we are really lacking Black players, soooo we could see Ramipele playing more & more (Oey vey)….GR8888 atmosphere & crowd at the Test…….Methinks that John Smit has seen better days, and if he makes the 2011 World Cup, he could be a weak link……Victor Matfield proved once and for all he is the best Forward, playing in the backline in Test ‘Rugger’ worldwide, and besides winning a few Lineouts against the throw, he spent the game in the line…… Frans Steyn has still not matured as a GR8888 test player and is very reckless, even though he kicked that ‘Moerse’ penalty…….in the end the win was close, BUT…well done to the Boks for coming back, as in the past when they were down, they seldom fought back for a win……French this week will be a handful, and I reckon with a full strength BOK team, we should win……BUT, it is not a full Strength side, and I worry for ‘Apolontjie’ , February & Zane & a few others….

With the Sokka 2010 about to start & the “ Rugger’ tests " Men Can't Win "
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. ………If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. ….. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. …. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

Sokka 2010 is here and starts tomorrow……what a month this will be…..just hope we can handle the traffic, and getting to the games is not total Chaos, as the Stadiums are complete and look E-mazing, and the ‘friendlies’ have drawn a lot of spectators….and of course Bafana Bafana have shown GR8888 character in their warm up games, and might still make us proud, and win a game……pity that soooo many GR8888 players will miss the Cup due to last minute injuries, and guys like Drogba, Balack , Ferdinand and others will be sorely missed….
Besides HUGE road works still taking place, business is deadly quite, as everyone is in Sokka 2010 mode……and trust me it is catchy….so much is written everyday in the Papers that one cannot keep up…..The Airport road looks glorious with all the Flags, and ‘Joburg’ is VERY festive for the occasion ….Yesterday marked the start of the festivities, with a Countrywide Vuvuzela blowing at 12 Noon……Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaaik, it was E-mazing and crowds swamped set up places, and Sandton had between 120,000-150,000 gathering for the Open Bus parade of Bafafa-Bafana…really gave ‘Gooooosies’….
Pictures; http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php The BEST add has come out by NANDO’S http://stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php on SOKKA 2010.

A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?" "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible.
But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?
"The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral... (GEEEEEEEEEEEEEES..???)

The Chief Rabbi of Souff Effrikka, Dr Rabbi Warren Goldtein has launched a new website which in the future will have VERY interesting ‘Meisas’, Youtubes. Podcasts etc…One stop religious shopping and some secular stuff also…
“Gib A Kuk” …….. www.chiefrabbi.co.za

Mark Hirshowitz of Concept Park did the Coordination for the Captains Dinner @ Vodacom …Mark is a Simcha coordinator also….see pictures at; http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE
The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.
The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.---

The Isreali situation is VERY grave at the moment, and if the Western World (in fact the whole world) would only wake up to the fact that they are starting to get hoodwinked into buying into the ‘Mozzie’ story, and in fact it will come back to bite them like Saddam Hussien, who they supported and eventually had to go in and get rid of him, at an unbelievable cost in human life…on all sides, and have left the area in such a mess…….the Blockade could get ugly, with more and more ‘Mumzers’ coming on a free ride, knowing that Israel will have to be at its best…
I have never seen this much Internet traffic on one issue, and some of the reports have really been 100% support for Israel…..a few of the ‘Youtubes’ that were striking http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ66qEl-fqo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG0EfG8mnAo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h2XBZz88VE&feature=player_embedded I think this last one says it alllllll…Look at the Rockets etc……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czi1Cpltsoo&feature=related

Mazeltov, You are 62 and still everyone wants to ‘Screw’ you. Happy Birthday, Israel!"
(at that age VERY few get offers……………….Bittere Gelechte )
Couple of ex Souff Effrikkens have perfected a product called Joburg Jerky, a blend of Dried Wors and Biltong…………….. KOSHER, and are in Philadelphia…..soooo for your convenience they will send it around the States for you…… Website www.joburgjerky.com will give contact details etc….Can contact Zack at ; zack@joburgjerky.com
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
"Close the door, I'm dressing!"
What do cats call mice on skateboards?
"Meals on Wheels"
What do you get from a pampered cow?
"Spoiled milk"
Got a FREEEEEEZING tip for Biltong from Ian Lurie, Balabos of Nussbaum’s Kosher Butcher… It's World Cup season and the feeling of South African pride is pumping all around! Being true South Africans, what better way to watch the World Cup than with Biltong, Dry Wors and Beer!
Due to the huge demand for biltong during this period we urge you to please place your orders and take them as soon as possible and YES- YOU CAN

FREEZE BILTONG see below :
Storing
As it is not always possible to keep biltong moist, then freezing is a good solution. Wrap the strips separately in cling-plastic and place in a plastic bag / air-tight plastic container in the freezer. If the biltong contains no fat, it can be frozen for approximately 18 months. Fatty biltong can be frozen for 9 months, after which the fat may go rancid.
Thawing
Slow: Place biltong with plastic wrapping overnight in fridge. Then leave outside for a pproximately 1 hour, after which the biltong will be ready for eating.
Quick: Remove from the wrapping and microwave for approximately 1 minute on 30% power or on the defrost setting. Then leave outside for approximately 1 hour. To order your biltong for the World Cup (for Local- Yokels only) - please click here .

Abe and Sarah leave Sandton and retire to Boston to be with their kinderlach and  einingklach . The winter arrives, and the weather is 'KAK'....They are sitting in their warm apartment and (all of a sudden) there is a knock on the door. Abe goes to the door and says “whose der” and the voice says “the Boston Strangler” .He says Sarah it‘s for you my dear .He strangles the wife...The whole family are grieving and within a few months Abe marries Rachel...
Next winter there is a knock at the door... Abe shouts “whose der “ The voice says The Boston Strangler. Solly says “go avay , we gave last year”........... (Thanks Ronnie)…

Rabbi Ilan Herrmann of the Lions Shul, really has connected with the Sokka 2010 World Cup in a HUGE way, and besides his Shul being around the corner from Ellis Park (Coca-Cola) Stadium, he is offering Tours and Shul services on match days…and now has the Official Bafana Bafana Yarmulka available, and will deliver…..See http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php for details of all his events and of course his Soul Workout programme is a must ……. Ilan 082-6834100

The general of the British army got caught on the opposite side of the valley to where his troops were. The area surrounding was full of Indians. He had to join his troops and looking around with no sign of the enemy he set forth on his horse to reach his army. Whilst in full flight the Indians appeared and thousands of arrows were shot at him not one hit him .He got to his troops .Being congratulated for his daring ride and having arrived unscathed they asked how did you manage to escape the wrath of the enemy arrows. He replied …I took Aramis      (Thanks Ronnie….)

‘Bobba’ Gertie Awerbach launched her Cook book Snippets this week, at a Union of Jewish Women get together, and she did a cookery demonstration…..It was a roaring success and when I looked thru’ the Cook Book, it is the recipes that ‘MY’ old Nationalist Newspaper ‘The Citizen’ published every week….I have read the Citizen from the first day it came out till today, as they ‘Tell it like it is’….’Oom Solly Krok’ and ‘OLD’ Chaver of Gertie was virtually the only male present, and of course he shouted to me to label the picture..” Thorn among the Roses” OR was it “Rose among the Thorn’s” … See pictures http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Kivi Bernard, Zunnelle of Rabbi Norman & Joan Bernard, is really taking the USofA by storm……He has been invited to give a ‘Droshe’ to the Emory University, Goizueta Business School – 2010 MBA class
www.kivibernhard.com/home/archives/623 He has been giving motivational talks all over the World the last few years…Shakeach……

Strange thoughts………….
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

The ‘SMOOKLERSBORD’ at the New Greenside Hall looks like a GR88888888 evening out…why not entertain your Sokka Chaveirim…??? I remember doing a weekly Tuesday night Smorgasbord at the ‘Old’ Jewish Guild, over 30 years ago, to bring people out into what was then ‘The Country’…..the moans & groans…and Wallah..!!!! after a few weeks it was bookings only….it was an E-mazing event, and eventually Rabbi Kurstag’s Rosh Khodesh Club and many other gatherings used to take a side room, and join with the Main Buffet for the graze…….. See http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php   for details…. GR888888 to bring a few Chaveirim for a Birthday or celebration…..ask the Chef, and he will bake a cake for the occasion…..

The Central Shule Chabad in Melbourne Australia, is looking for a Chazzan, and as they are a Souff Effrikken orientated congregation, are looking in the ‘Beloved Country’ and for that matter anywhere else, that a Chazzan who meets their requirements is……The Chairman, Mark Sarachik is ‘Tukka’ a Landsman, as his family also came from Malat, and he has just returned from a trip to ‘Der Heim’……Mark is in the ‘Beloved Country’ for the next few days, soooo you can contact him…see http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php for more info.... ‘Song by the Shule Choir, Conducted by Myron Blecher, ‘OUR’ Old Jewish Guild ‘boytjie’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eP56vjAwKI&feature=related

This week, I was told a few good jokes, and this one by Alan is VERY good (Old)…
A ‘Yid’ is trying to sneak into a bullfight …and circles the stadium for an opening, BUT…they are watching him…and he tries a bit of geld, and the Doorman is adamant-
No ticket – No bull fight….after hanging around he sees a guy come up, and the doorman says ;Ticket-he replies Matador…go in…. a few moments later another guy arrives;
Ticket- Picador-…go in…and a few minutes later another arrives;
Ticket; Toreador…go in…He walks up and says Isador, and the Doorman hugs him and shouts Landsman ( Homeboy…) LUV it…..

Some E-mazing clothes for the ‘Kinderlach & Einingklach ‘ ( for the record, and ALL the Kibitzers – Grandchild/Granddaughter are both Einingklach….( Got a Hechsher from the Beth Din on that) Specially 4 U" - Exclusive local and imported kiddies clothing for ages 0 - 7 years.  Join them for a cup of coffee while choosing the cutest outfits for your children or grandchildren. For further information please call Gilda on 083 227 4363 or Madeleine on
082 553 6229.

Those going to Durban / Umhlanga for the Sokka 2010 games, Chabad of Umhlanga is a must…also those needing accommodation, they have a Kosher B & B…go on the website and read and see the Comrades Marathon www.chabadnc.com I put a few on also… http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

The Highlands North High School reunion takes place on the 30/6/2010 at the Killarney Country Club, and it should be a GR888888888 evening…. Last week I asked for pictures of the Cadet Band and the Shooting Team, as Highlands were always VERY well known for the two ‘Amolikke Yoren’……Then of course Independence came, and Cadets fell away and sooo did the Band……what a pity……. Herb Epstein from my Class 1966-1970 is starting to organize a 40th HNHS reunion in Oz, and wants the ,Manne’ from the Class of 1970 to drop him a line, even if you aren’t in Oz…. herb@heastern.com.au For the local hero’s, please get details of the reunion from http://stantgsm.com/Highlands.html I was told that one of the Band Manne in the photo is Mannie Lubowitz today known as “Manfred Mann” …Yes, Manfred Mann was a Highlands Old Boy……The whole reunion is to try and get a Network of ‘Ou Manne’ , soooo the School has a Body behind it….I watched the Maritzvburg / Glenwood Schools ‘rugger’ game this weekend, and it co incided with ‘Old’ Boys day at Maritzburg…..it was E-mazing to see soooooo many ‘old’ boys rock up…….Met up with Hilton Nerwich (1963) and he is of course Mr Harley, and actually fits in soooo well with Highlands tradition of yesteryear …The original “ Duckie”………….

A Coloured, Whitey and an Indian sit in a restaurant.
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He looks so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Coloured twigs:
"My goodness that is the POPE!"
Sure enough, it is the POPE.
Thrilled, they club in and send him over the best chow on the menu.
The Pope accepts the food, smiles over at the three men, and starts eating.

After he's finished eating, the Pope approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Durban Indian and shakes it, thanking him for the food.
When he lets go, the Indian gives a cry of amazement:
"My Goodness! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"
The Pope then also shakes the White's hand, thanking him.
As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
"Its true mate!!, The bad back I've had all my life is completely gone.
It's a freaking miracle!"
The Pope then approaches the Coloured who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Pope.
"What's wrong?" asks the Pope.
The Coloured shouts, "Nee Jy raakie aan my nie, ek's op a disability grant!!!

Mazeltov to Georgia Sugarman on her GR88888888 dancing achievement in NYC…Georgia is the daughter of Doc Roy (Shrink-Sydney) who is an ex Highlands North High ‘Boytjie’…was the year after me….. http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Last week I mentioned the Wilf Rosenberg’s ‘Meisa’ in www.noseweek.co.za ..and this week I got an E-mail, supposedly from Wilf’s sister, pointing out that Wilf knows ‘Nutting’ about the Story, and it is his ex who is spreading ‘Bobbameises’…’veir veist’ (who knows…???).

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’   at;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Happy 90th. Birthday to Honey ….She celebrated her Birthday at the Capri , and Riva did a special brunch…..The family came from all over to join in the special occasion. Honey’s Einingkel is Danny Koppel (Danny K)…Mazeltov to the whole family….Pictures; http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov & Happy Birthday to Justin Sher who had his Opsherinis on Sunday…Mazeltov to his parents Dalene (Sher) & Anthony Sher and Mazeltov to Alan & Sandy Sher & Dick & Gill Sher …I have know the Sher’s for many years…Both sets…….Alan & Sandy maybe 25 years from the Oxford Shul and of course the many Simcha’s I did for them, and Gill worked for us at Stan & Pete for 30 years, and Dick has been my Accountant for 35 years….and of course Dalene & her Schvester Meryl worked for us also……soooooo it was ‘Tukka’ a family affair, and what a ‘Lekker’ ceremony it was, and Rabbi Michael Katz really gave a simple but lasting message on the tradition of a Opsherinis…..
Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’ See http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to Jenna (Abrahamson) & Jason (Getz) on their engagement .Mazeltov to Roma & Alan Abrahamson & Late Cheryl & Wayne Getz … Jenna and my daughter Lauren have been friends for many years, and I knew Jason’s Late Mom Cheryl very well, as she worked for Rosenbaum Katz...Amolikke Yoren’……. Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…….

Mazeltov to Wayne & Sue Lyons on the Chasener of their Zunnelle David in Israel next week….David is marrying Shany Orian …….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’………….

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

Latest advice from the ‘Manne’ is plan to leave 4 hours before a game for the Joburg / Pretoria games

Plan the trip properly, and remember that your return from some games could be as late as Mid Night ..have safe transport booked for the home trip….take warm clothes with, as it could be very cold…..

When going to ATM’S use ones inside Centres and not at Garages etc…..

Carry the minimum of valuables to the games……

Besides our ‘Gunovim’ they reckon expert Fraudsters and pick pockets will fly in for the games…

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…
From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za
PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers (Corporate) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell- 082-4547860

PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell 082-4547860

Do you need a professional website? Do you want to convert your website traffic into sales using Google?

Contact RAW Media Concepts on: Tel- +27 11 786 1170
or visit our website www.rawmedia.co.za

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…

Check out the new Archive Section
on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas

Click here to view

Parsha of The Week

Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Sportsmen or Spectators?

Are you a spectator or a participant? Will you only watch Bafana Bafana and the Soccer World Cup or do you sometimes kick a ball yourself?
A few years ago, it was decided to widen the seats at Wimbledon. Apparently, the problem was rather simple – obesity. It appears that the fans that admire the tennis stars in action don’t get much exercise. The Chairman of the British Sports Council was prompted to state, “If only the admirers of sport would practice it themselves.”

The Parsha this week is named after Korach, cousin of Moses and a revolutionary who attempted to usurp the authority of Moses and Aaron. His ill-fated rebellion came to a bitter end when the earth opened and swallowedKorach and his followers, demonstrating to all that Moses and Aaron were truly chosen by G-d.
But why name a Parsha of the Torah after a villain? Korach was a sinner and is surely not a role model for us to emulate.
My saintly teacher and mentor, The Lubavitcher Rebbe, whose yahrtzeit is observed this week, offered a novel approach. There is one area, where Korach can, indeed, be a good role model. What was Korach’s burning desire in life? It was to be a Kohen Gadol, the High Priest. He coveted Aaron’s position of honor.
Now, being a High Priest meant much more than just fame and fortune, glory or privilege. Many sacred responsibilities came with the job. It was no easy task to be a Kohen Gadol. There were numerous restrictions; where he could go, what kind of activities he could be involved in, whom he could marry, etc, etc. Yet, Korach was absolutely single-minded in his aspiration to become the High Priest.
Said the Rebbe, this is something we can all learn from Korach; the yearning to serve G-d in the holiest capacity, the craving to be a Kohen Gadol. Would it be that all of us shared similar aspirations to holiness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each one of us longed for a life of sanctity dedicated to the service of G-d?
How often we are only too happy to allow others to handle the sacred stuff. “You can put on Tefillin for me, Rabbi.” And your Bobba can keep kosher for you and the Board of Deputies can fight anti-Semitism for you and the Lubavitchers will save the world for you. And what will you yourself do? Watch them?
It is interesting that in many parts of the world much of the financial support for religious institutions comes from people who, themselves, are not religious. It has, in fact, been suggested that this phenomenon may well be a form of vicarious Judaism. These are fine people who really do believe in the truth of Judaism but they haven’t got sufficient commitment to practice it themselves. Nor do they believe their own children will do it. Who then will defend the faith and perpetuate Judaism and the Jewish people? So they sponsor a religious institution to do it for them.

I recall hearing a pertinent story from Prof Velvel Greene of Ben Gurion University. A young man signed up to join the paratroopers. On his first training flight the instructor has him in his parachute huddled at the door of the airplane and starts counting down. 5, 4,3,2,1, - “JUMP!” The candidate is paralyzed with fear and doesn’t move. “OK, it happens to the best of us,” says the instructor sympathetically. “We’ll try again.” The second attempt, however, is no better; nor the third or the fourth. The would-be paratrooper is simply too petrified to jump. Exasperated, the instructor asks him, “Tell me, son, if you are so scared to jump why on earth do you want to join the paratroopers?” The young man answered, “It’s true, I am scared out of my wits. But I just love to be around people who are not afraid.”

So as we prepare for the greatest event to hit South Africa, let’s be more than spectators. It is wonderful to support and encourage the activists among us. But let us learn from Korach who wanted so badly to be a High Priest himself. Let’s not be content with watching others. Let each of us participate in the Jewish idea. And let us do it personally.

This Newsletter was sponsored by

Click here to view the Website
http://www.stantgsm.com

StanTGSM's newsletter is read all over the world including ..
All the Continents of the Globe