Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
11 December 2008

Dear All,

The weather is ever changing, and we have had a lot of rain again, which has caused sooooo much damage to the roads, with Pot holes the size of baby pools appearing….and how I have not had a puncture is a miracle, and of course half the robots are out, most of the time…during the daily rush they cause chaos, BUT,……..at night they are deadly, with Shmo’s going straight through without even realizing it was a Robot…….

The Rugger season is finally over…Oey vy…..The 6 Nations is the next BIG one, and then of course the Lions Tour……The BOKS 7’s have done very well, winning the last two rounds……not ‘Suiwer’ Rugger..???

Lot of Chirping going on about the Aussie / Bok Cricket tour and Methinks the less said the better from ‘OUR’ Captain Courageous, as he has a way of putting his foot in it…….Still believe they will ‘KLAP’ us, and maybe..??? We can beat them here…..???? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdTREfcowZQ Have a look, being rated as the BEST Cricket catch EVER…???

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn
A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are.......
that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.
If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

The Million $$$$ was interrupted by rain quite a lot, and the eventual winner was Henrick Stenson of Sweden…… They never got the crowds of Yesteryear …….Bring back Ernie..???? The ‘vibe’ is somehow not there…..

An Inspirational Story
Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.
At first I said. "Naaahhh, I already play 4 or 5 times a week."
Then they said to me. "Come on, it's for handicapped and blind people."
Then I thought................ Oey vy, I could win this.

A few years ago, an informative Map was published of the Eruv’s in Joburg….it was sponsored by SASFIN ….has anyone got a copy for me….Please e-mail me if you have one…. Smookler@netactive.co.za

Marlene Gaffan in Israel has a week’s timeshare @ Sun City’s New Luxury suites at the Vacation Club, 16th - 23rd Jan 2009 to sleep 6…..Bargain price. Please contact Marlene Gaffan at gaffan@netvision.net.il - or phone 972-9-7727163

I was sent a link about the Oudtshoorn Jewish Community, and I reckon it is the best I have seen of any ‘Dorp’ in the ‘Beloved Country’…E-mazing how much research has been done by the Seligman family… ‘Gib A Kuk’ really worth it..
http://www.seligman.org.il/oudtshoorn_jews.html
Freiliche ‘Youtube’ on Chanuka…very funny http://www.galigirls.com/galigirlsmovie.html Chabad House will be holding a public Menorah Lighting for Chanukah at the Norwood Mall from Sunday night, 21 December until 28 December, beginning at 18H30. Doughnuts, sweets and other goodies will be on sale. Come and join the festivities!
ChaiSouthAfrica are at it again, and they have put together a GR8 Chanukah campaign….ChaiSA is for ex Pats ONLY, BUT….locals can see the E-mazing work they are doing at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php
An E-mazing way to send assistance to the troubled area of Sderot in Israel……they are really having a VERY ‘Shlegg’ time, and need the support of Yidden from around the World…. http://pizzaidf.org/

A ‘Yiddisher’ efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home."
"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner.
Now I do it in ten..."    (Seriaaaaaaaaaas one…???)
Eishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…an E-mazing 1 minute response from Aish on the Mumbai tragedy… http://dogood.aish.com Chabad had a large memorial at Chabad of Savoy on Monday, and it is really very sad what happened…..
Oey vy, Seinfeld does a ‘Yiddish’ schtick on Youtube
Click here: YouTube - Yiddish & Seinfeld . . Listen, Learn & Laugh!

This Sir Bob Geldof was a MAJOR JNF event in Aussie, and I received a few E-mails pointing out that he appeared in Melbourne also…….got a few more pictures, and I was happy to see Bradley Garlick, as I catered many Jaguar events for him, when the family had Daytona Motors near Jeppe ‘Amolikke Yoren’…also a picture of Rob Schneider who was in the Army ith me (1971) and heads the JNF in Aussie and Stephen Chipkin, whose Zaida the Late Walter A Chipkins grandson…My Late Mom worked at Chipkins for over 30 years….what a company it was….those were the days…………….

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day: After all, ’tis the season for them sooooon..
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ' Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it? '

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree…(Eishhhhhhh…)

Those going to Cape town must take note that Avron’s Place is filling up VERY quickly, and Avron & Haley recommend that you book in advance…….as there is a tremendous demand for ‘Kosher’ facilities in Cape Town over the Holidays…contact Avron & Hayley Almeleh avronsplace@netactive.co.za for a GR8 ‘Kosher’ experience and Avron has a Jumping Castle for the Kinderlach during the day and the early sitting…..…………………Also in Cape Town is Ido Gordon “The Shlepper” who will do just that…safe and reliable 082 559 9996 Info at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_directory.php I have used him, it was a ‘Meichel’…even takes home the Kinderlach after clubbing (drunk as skunks…)

Got to LUV ‘ol Gatiep in the Cape….
Gatiep was sitting reading the Cape Argus while his wife, Meraai was busy in the kitchen.
He called through to her "Skattie, there's a word here I don't understand.
What does 'propaganda' mean?"
She came in dusting the flour from her hands.
"Propaganda means like this," she said.
"I had three kids from my first husband and two kids from my second husband.
From you I have had no kids.
You had no kids from your first wife and no kids from your second wife.Also from me.
That shows that I'm a proper goose, but you're not a propaganda." (Yislaaaaaaaaaik…)

I leave for Cape Town on Thursday, sooooooo from next week, have a ‘biesel’ Ragmonis on my Komputta….I will have limited access…..I will send the last letter next week, and then again on the 8th.January…..

A Birth Certificate shows we were born
Pictures show we lived!
A Death Certificate shows we died ….Make a difference……to life ‘Le Chaim’……
The ‘MADIBA’ Bracelet can make a difference too many under privileged Kinderlach….. It has a CHARITY link to the 46664 HIV aids campaign of The Nelson Mandela Foundation ’Gib A Kuk’ @ www.fruittijewels.com

A Canadian lumber camp advertises for a lumberjack.
A skinny little guy shows up at the camp the next day carrying an axe. The head lumberjack takes one look at the puny little guy and tells him to get lost.
" Give me a chance to show you what I can do," says the skinny guy.
" Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" says the head lumberjack.
"Take your axe and cut it down."
The guy heads for the tree, and in five minutes he's knocking on the lumberjack's door.
" I cut the tree down," says the guy.
The lumberjack can't believe his eyes and says,
" Where did you learn to chop down trees like that?"
" In the Sahara Forest," says the puny man.
" You mean the Sahara Desert," says the lumberjack.
"Sure......!! That's what they call it now!" (Breeeeeeeeeeeeeker…)

Got quite a few E-mails on my Upington visit, and the few from Lois & Marvin Cohen lmcohen@bigpond.net.au were very informative……Marvin’s Late Dad was the local Dr for many years, and his Grandfather, Clarence Ribonson was the Mayor, and was very involved in bringing ‘Rugger’ to Upington many years ago….Marvin would like to hear from U ‘Upington Mense’ out there……sent me an old picture of the Shul and Commuinty Centre which is at ;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Sheryl in OZ has Time share available to Rent at the PENINSULA Sea Point
6 SLEEPER SUPER LUXURYAvailable from 19th Dec to either 26th or even 29th Dec. Sheryl: info@comfortfirst.com.au what superb dates…drop an e-mail…

What’s the difference between an Italian wife, a French wife and a Jewish wife?
When an Italian wife is having an affair, she says, "Mamma mia."
When a French wife is having an affair, she says, "Ooh-la-la."
And when a Jewish wife is having an affair, she says, " Abe, the ceiling needs painting."

Anne Lapedus Brest is looking for any information on a Morris Edelson (Edleson) formerly known as Movsha/Moses Idelovich (Ideliovich) born about 1849 in Kovno GUberniay, Lithuania.
He lived in Manchester, England and was married to a woman who may have been called Rebecca. His children were Lipman (Leyzer), Jacob (Yankel), Mary Hinda, Fanny Feiga, Sarah and Caspar (Yecheskel ben Moishe).
Morris Edelson (Edleson/Idelovich/Ideliovich) was murdered in a general store/grocery store in South Africa.There seems to be no records of his death but he did die in South Africa.
If anyone knows anything about this family, please could you contact Anne at digitalphoto@icon.co.za or call her on 011.783.2237 and 082.452.7166.
Long shot, BUT………who knows…..?????

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest.
"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

Came across this ‘AD’ for some info on J(M)uizenburg…I am looking for Muizenberg beach pic’s specifically of old swimwear (1930/1940's).
You are welcome to call me 082- 4295539 or email to muizlogostore@iafrica.com or even better bring them to Muizenberg logo store when you visit Cape Town. They are in Balmoral Building, 52 Beach Road, Muizenberg (inside Rustenburg Pharmacy)……

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School .
Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'
When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her,
took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'
But Susie didn't stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.
' Yoshke (JC) …. !!!' shouted Susie.
And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question............
'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted,
'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah……………..)

Nuuuuuuuuuuuu, hard to believe ,BUT….petrol came down R1.60 a litre and they are now talking about a .50% drop in the Interest rates, which would really help…the ‘Mighty Rand’ is fighting back, and could stabilize at R10-$$$$ over the holiday season…….???? Money is getting scarce, and evening the Black Diamonds (as the Up & coming Blacks are called) are starting to ‘Schvitz’ a bit….although the Tax deadline was last week, TaxRelax will assist you to get it in without penalties for the next month…….Just give them a ring…..
This Financial roundup brought to you by TAXRELAX www.taxrelax.co.za Just click on their website on the letter and see all the services they offer………

The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building
standing,. Its called the stock market …………
What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and
an investment banker? ……………… A tie!

Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite
candy bar
The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. …………. They had to include pictures

The Political front is really one of E-mazement, with the ANC looking a bit shaken, BUT…not stirred……as they just carry on regardless, plundering the system, and getting away with it, while the new COPE party, doing a big War Cry, BUT…….nothing else……the worry is that massive projects like Power are being ignored , and eventually we will have ‘black outs’ again……with Escom starting summer maintenance early January……the road system in Joburg & surrounds is in a total shambles, with traffic build ups the whole day, and well into the nights, with such dangerous road surfaces…….The Guatrain has also caused HUGE traffic chaos, and methinks that it will be a waste……rather more roads……..

I was sitting here thinking during lunch and this thought struck me .......
After all that time and money spent during the election, what actually was the outcome?
Another black family living in government housing…….???....! (Ouch…………..)

With all the ‘Yiddisher’ camps starting this week, many Kinderk
Lach are off to the sea…and of course a bit of learning…….Ohr Somayach have their Israel tour going again, with large participation….and this year, they have a ‘Young Women’s’ tour, and my Niece Robyn is taking the ‘Wings on a Flame’ tour to the ‘Land of Milk & Honey’….looks like an ‘Ohrsom’ tour is being planned, and I am sure the ‘Meidlach’ will enjoy the tour with Robyn…….

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Mazeltov to Mandy Nurick and Gary Diamond on their wedding in Sydney last week at Luna Park in Sydney Harbour…..Mazeltov to the parentsIvan and Pat Nurick ex JHB, and Janice and Phillip Diamond ex P.E now living in Baltimore . Pat Nurek was a Kusner and the 5 sisters were all present at the wedding…One of the Schvesters, Phillipa is married to my Chaver Rael Awerbach in Sydney…
Pictures ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to the Etkind family on the marriage of their daughter Danielle Tuesday 16th Dec in Sydney (old Ding Dong’s day in Der Heim- Dingaan’s day ) . She is the first daughter of theirs that is marrying an Aussie-Joseph Rousos. The other 2 daughters are married to ex South Africans and they have another daughter who is getting married in February in Tooo-Run-Tooo and Laurence grew up with my Cousin Irvine Weitzman who has been in Tooo-Run-Tooo for over 30 years, and they will meet up again…..Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..

Mazeltov to ANTHONY & RACHEL Wald in Melbourne on the birth of their ‘Boychick’…Mazeltov to my ‘old’ Catering Chavers Bunny & Henry Wald…..

Sincere condolences to the family of Ruby Isaacson who passed away this week….Ruby stayed at Golden Acres, and was friendly with my Late Mom, and her Einingkel Darren Kursman worked with Mike Collet in video’s for years at Simcha’s…Sincere condolences to the whole family…..

Sincere condolences to the Smit family on the passing of your Beloved ‘Aunty Mae’ as she was affectionately known at Highlands North High School where she was the secretary for over 35 years, (and in my time there)……she will be sorely missed by all who knew her…….Her sons Trevor and Dion were at Highlands with me…a few years ahead……..Sincere condolences to the whole family…..

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

We are in the holiday season so;

Check your security at home and work…..

Be VERY careful when drawing money at ATM’s………

Try not to wear a fortune of jewelery…and carry large sums of money…

Be ‘Wakker’ and streetwiZe………….

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website :

http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a good , restful peaceful Shabbos,

If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times which refreshes the website……

The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel.

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Parsha of The Week

Jacob’s Lament
Rabbi Yossy Goldman
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’

This week the dreaded encounter between Jacob and Esau finally materializes. After two decades, the twin brothers who are anything but identical square up. Jacob who fled the wrath of Esau as a young man is returning home with a large family and much wealth. Esau is fast approaching with four hundred armed desperados armed to the teeth. Will it be all out war or will they make peace? Jacob prepares for all eventualities and also sends a message to his hostile brother.

Im lavan garti – “I have sojourned with Lavan.” Rashi interprets the message of Jacob to mean that though he lived with a notorious trickster for all this time he “had not learned from his evil ways” and remained a righteous Jew committed to the G-dly way of life. This is indicated by the gematria (numerology) of the Hebrew word garti which equals taryag, 613, the number of Mitzvot in the Torah.

But wasn’t this rather boastful of Jacob? The same man who will soon be praying for deliverance and say kotointi, claiming that he has been humbled by all G-d’s kindnesses to him, now seems to be pointing proudly to his piety, telling Esau how religious he has been?

The Chofetz Chaim offers a novel interpretation. He explains that Jacob’s words should not be understood as a boast but rather as a lament. “I sojourned with Lavan but did not learn from his evil ways” means that Jacob did not learn from the way Lavan did evil. How did Lavan do evil? Enthusiastically! With vim and vigor. His wicked ways were undertaken with a passion and energy and Jacob bemoans the fact that his own good deeds were not performed as passionately as Lavan’s evil deeds.

If the good guys were as incentivized as the bad guys, crime would be dramatically down. If the security forces were as passionate as Osama Bin Laden and his cohorts we would have found him long ago. If the police and justice systems of the world operated with the same commitment and drive as the drug lords and the hijacking syndicates we would all be better off. The trouble is that the forces of evil are enthusiastic and highly motivated while the forces of good often depend on civil servants who are overworked and underpaid.

Nikita Khrushchev (of United Nations shoe-banging fame) was once addressing a large public meeting in Russia during the anti-Stalinist period. He was blasting Stalin’s cruel and unforgivable atrocities when a voice in the crowd suddenly spoke up and asked, “If Stalin was such a villain, why didn’t you do anything about it then?”

“Who said that?!” thundered Khrushchev. There was absolute silence in the hall. Not a sound, not a movement. People froze in fear.

“Now you understand why I didn’t do anything,” was Khrushchev’s convincing answer.

This interesting interpretation of Jacob’s lament reminds us that the voice of morality must be at least as loud as the voice of evil. Too often the voice of justice is soft and still while the voice of corruption and degeneracy is loud and bombastic.

Who will amplify the sweet, silent sound of goodness?

Let us strive to become as passionate and assertive for the cause of G-dliness and goodness as the other side is for evil and injustice. When the zeal and total commitment of the crazed killers in Mumbai will be mirrored by the good people of this world in their pursuit of a better society then the world will be better balanced, much nicer and a lot safer.

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