Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
11 February 2010

Dear All,

Although the rain & storms continue, there are signs that VERY hot weather is ahead, and maybe we will squeeze in a bit of summer…..the rain has caused chaos with our roads, and potholes are everywhere……see
http://stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php The lighter side of ‘Pot Holes’…….

The Six Nations got off to a good start, with some very good ‘Rugger’ and of course huge crowds…. The ‘Poms’ won a hard fought battle,
The Irish beat Italy, BUT….not by that much and the Scots played their hearts out, BUT….could not get a win against the French…..who seem quite aggressive and determined to win the 6 nations…….The huge crowds are what E-mazes me…..even the Italy game was huge……The Super 14 starts this week, with ‘OUR’ Souff Effrikken teams having plenty drama…….with player transfers etc…

The Cricket test in India, has really shown that we do have a few Batsmen that can get runs, (although, not at a pace) and the bowlers…well I am not sure what happened, BUT….they ‘Slagged’ the Indian batsmen, and are 1-0 up……hopefully they play the next test sensibly, and not like ‘Windgats’ and they could come home with a much unexpected series win…????

Sokka 2010 seems to keep the limelight, week in, week out, with the Unions threatening ‘Strike Action’ because the Mascot is being made in ‘Sweat Shops’ in China………, OR is it that the Chinese know how to work, and our ‘Manne’ in the Textiles industry know how to betoog ( Moan & strike)….how can our Manne compete with other emerging nations on the Production side with the ‘Mighty Rand’ holding on, and the ‘Wekkers’ not being prepared to ‘Vasbyt’ ( lower demands) and get down to work….the ‘Mascot’ story is far from over, as a member of the ANC (what a surprise) managed to tie up the contract……?? No bribery & corruption here…won it in a fair ‘Tender’ (Ja,Ja…)…. A young lady in Durban has E-mazing Sokka 2010 Jerseys for Corporates..(not sure where they are made, BUT…Cecil reckons they are ‘Bakgat’…..and a ‘Mitziea’ (bargain)…. http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php

Good, Better and Best of the Law …………..
GOOD
On the South Coast, a Cop had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many.
Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old Xhosa boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'EISH, iRADAR TRAP AHEAD'.
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading 'iTIPS' and a bucket full of money!

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar trap in Sandton, JHB. A R200 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of two R100 bills.
The police responded with a mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
As the Verulam Metro officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Verulam's officers Ball'.
He replied, 'Verulam officers don't have balls.'
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said.
He quietly closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
She was laughing so hard, she couldn't start her car.

WOW……..!!! That is what last weekends Shabbos was at Sandton Shul…must have been close on 1000 ‘Yidden’ for the service, and the service was GR88888 all round, and Shabbos morning was also VERY special with young Ryan Manoim, reading his Barmy portion (Yitro) very well, the Chief Rabbi Lau giving an E-mazing ‘Droshe’, and then the Chazzan Yitzchak MEIR Helgot delivering a special Mussaf service with Avron and the choir who were GR8888. Quite a few of the visiting ‘choir boys’ joined in with ‘OUR’ choir, and the ‘Shtick’ at the Ark when putting away the Torah had to be the best by FAR that everyone at Shul had ever heard….. http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php was good to see Choir boys from as far as Cape Town arrive for the weekend, and David Gordon (Marais Street Shul and Rael Levitt (Auction Alliance ) were there…and many more..
Young Chaim Ehrlich ‘leined’ VERY well………..
The concert at the Lyric theatre @ Gold Reef City was sooooooo professional, and not a thing was out of place…….Our Chazzen , Avron Alter did VERY well, and of course ‘OUR’ Sandton Chairman, Sir Henry Blumenthal was ‘Tukka’ on top form the WHOLE weekend, and they have promised to bring the Chief Rabbi Lau & Chazzen Helfgot again…soooon. The Sydenham choir was the backing for the show and are a very professional group………Only problem is that the ‘Manne’ are getting ‘old’ and very few of the ‘Kinderlach’ seem to be committing themselves to Choirs, in all Shuls…???? The Pianist, Raymond Goldstein was brilliant, and is an ex Capetonian….. Hopefully, the Ashdod medical centre will benefit as much as the ‘Yiddisher’ community in Souff Affrikka did…..Shakeach to all……

Eskom would like to remind its customers that it is no longer
politically correct to refer to power failures as "black outs".
Reference must now be made to "previously lit" areas.

Got many E-mails from ex Highlands North High inmates….and the oldest so far, is Doc. Denis Meskin who ran a Practice for many years in Joburg and moved to Irvine, where he still see patients….and he matriculated with the Class of 1949…
Got another one from Mike Levy who was part of the Class of 1953…..He was at Highlands with Denis’s Late brother…….Mike lives in Souff Effrikka and is involved in the Travel Industry, and the interesting thing is that , like me , he seems to specialize in “Senior Citizen” travel ……and as many ‘Seniors’ have realized, the normal Insurance packages do not cover Senior citizens properly…
He has conducted a study of Senior Travel Insurance and feels sorry for those seniors who purchase their air tickets with a credit card, and only then discover that it was the wrong card to use to obtain their Senior Travel Insurance.....Mike can be contacted at ; 011 8828107 …… 082 6790706 ……I have received many one liners saying that they are ‘Old Boys’ (Aquilians)…keep sending me your names to smookler@netactive.co.za ..The Highlands reunion is planned for 30th. June, two weeks before the Sokka 2010 finals……

A big-game hunter went on a safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle and began the search. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband…..
“The lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it!” (Einaaaaah…)

A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives…..
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine”.

The Beth Jacob of Irvine had a Gala dinner this past Sunday night to honor their choir .This youtube is the choir singing at the function. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR9pznmyEsY
The soloist was Jeffrey Inspektor. He hails from Joburg, and his Late Dad Louis ran the Bottle Store in Troye Street, ‘Amolikke Yoren’…his Boet Eric, was also at Pollock / Josset with me when I attempted to do Accountancy……. His Late Dad Louis was also a ‘Choir Boy’…..and his Zaida….soooo no wonder he is such a star….when looking at the Picture I got of the Choir from his Mom in Law Betty, I recognized a few other Singers from the ‘Beloved country. http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php See ; Front right is Milton Soloman who used to sing in the Sandton choir with his Late Dad and his Boet Ivan (Ratman)….Ivan still sings in the Sandton Choir, and has been there for 30 years….behind Milton is Jeffrey Inspektor, and behind him is Jeff Samson (Zunnelle of Eric Samson–Macsteel)…quite a few others look familiar, BUT….I am not sure…. ????

Kid to Zaidy: What book are you reading?
Zaida: A History book.
Kid: But that's a sex book.
Zaida: Well, for me its history...

Quite ‘Skrikky’ how fast the time flies, and it is already time to start mentioning the SASFIN / MSC /Selwyn Segal Sports Quiz Going to be a great one this year- (2010) as it is in its 10th year of the Quiz and a Special emphasis on the Sokka World Cup….spoke to Brett Hetz this week, and he reckons that his team…who have won it for quite a few years, are in training and is thinking of putting in two teams this year, to give his 1st. Team some challenge…??? They are keen to start signing up Corporate’s for this ‘MUST’ evening, which has proved VERY popular in the past 10 years…..it is being held at the Sandton Sun on the 13th. May …drop Raelene a line for more details…..if you want a GR8888 eveinig for your ‘Wekkers’ OR ‘Clients’..this is it…. Raelene Tradonsky Raelene.Tradonsky@is.co.za

News Reporter: Julius (Malema) if you failed grade 12 would you have committed suicide?
Julius: me commit a suicide?... I'd rather kill my self than doing such a horrible thing.

Very interesting ‘Shtick’ on ‘OUR’ Travelling Rabbi, Moshe Silberhaft, who has been doing Country and across border work for years, and has done and organized some strange ‘Wedding’ venues….see the article on the African Jewish Congress website AJC …Mmmmm close to ANC….???
http://www.africanjewishcongress.com/weddings.htm

My ‘Old’ Chaver from Lichtenburg, Basil Kletz is organizing for cyclists and triatheletes to compete in the regional Maccabi games in Sydney Australia the last week in Dec 2010. Anyone interested in participating contact Basil either at work on 0118247318 or kletz@global.co.za. Or home 011453 9271 ….It is from the 24th. December – 2nd January 2011 and will be part of the Aussie regional games in Sydney…..

ELDERLY SEX
One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found
Her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
Of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...
He could also fly.'

Yoni Wolpe has some GR88888 ideas in making your ‘Geld’ work for you….he is into Property (NONYA PROPERTY) SYNDICATIONS- use your cash in the bank to participate in great property deals with huge returns ..contact Yoni Wolpe @
082-339-2358 OR E-mail him at ; Yoni Wolpe yoni@nonyaprop.co.za

I get soooo many requests for second hand cars, sooooo in the Right hand corner of the Letter, you will see a new Click button…just click and see the Car of the Week……. ‘Gib A Kuk’ http://www.stantgsm.com/cars/ …Raw media, my ‘IT’ E-fundi’s are working VERY hard to get the site going WELL for the big year ahead….I have taken off a lot of Ads, and am looking for some ‘Sponsors’ for the Good Shabbos letter….we are working on various rates to suit your pocket….and as my Bobba always said ’In the L-D we trust, and rest pay CASH’……
soooo many adds go unpaid, that I need a full time ‘wekker’ to look after the ‘Geshbon’ (business)…my Zunnelle Martin is helping me set up a Business Plan that works.. I will be sending a separate E-mail, to assist the ‘Kaylikka’s’ on the list on how to use a ‘Website’….or should I say.. ”What is a Website’…cannot believe that soooo many readers do not know how to get onto the website….
The address is ; www.stantgsm.com ..when you get there, you can select the Current newsletter, past newsletter, jokes, Classifieds (Weddings etc) , pictures, info etc………….I will send the ‘kaylikka’s’ guide next week…….do not take offence…….I am also a ‘Kaylikka’ when it comes to all the modern inventions that us ‘Senior’ citizen’s have to navigate… got a discount on my Sunday Times subscription, as I am over 55…..Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…..

A guy walked into the post office one day to see a middle-aged balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "love" stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them. He then took out a perfume bottle and starting spraying scent over all the letters.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he went up and asked the balding guy what he was doing.
The man said, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentines cards signed, 'guess who?'"
"But why?"
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

Zuma must ‘Tukka’ be careful on Sunday, as it is Valentines day, and he might just be tempted to find a \’Valentine’ for the day……Ladies ‘Pasop’…… what a mess he has made, and of course Zapiro (Shapiro) the cartoonist has brought back the shower head , after his latest ‘Child’ came to light……and he has taken big ‘Lashes’ BUT…he still believes it is a cultural matter, and of course a private matter…he was elected as the ‘Mampara’ of the week by Hogarth, in the Sunday Times…….An ‘old’ traditional ‘Beloved Country’ Valentines greeting card

Valentine, oh Valentine,
I smaak you stukkend, say you'll be mine.
You're my morning, my sunshine, my moon and my stars,
You're my air freshener from O.K. Bazaars;
You're my beaded love-letter, my breeze in the night,
You're my coffee, my Cremora, my Blitz firelight.

You're my Crime-Stop, my Tracker, you're my AZT,
My pap, Mrs Ball's chutney, my Nando's for free;
You're my lamb chop, my dewdrop, my partner in crime,
My chillie, my pepper, my vetkoek sublime.
The list is endless and this isn't all,
You're my Lotto jackpot, my dop and my zol.

You're my 4X4 when the road is so hilly,
You're my Floro margarine that butters my mielie.
I smaak you, my poppie, so please be my wife,
'cause, Baby, you're the All Gold Tomato Sauce on the
slap chips of life!

Tonight (Thursday), JZ will deliver the State of the Nation address …and he chose to do it in the evening , soooooo everyone could watch (that was before his latest ‘Fling’ came to light)…the Papers have not been kind, and the general feeling that is whatever he comes up with, will be a ‘Sham’….really sad, as it is Madiba’s 20th Anniversary today, since he was released, and ‘ol ‘JZ ‘has really made a ‘Mish-Mush’ of things….. See http://stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php

I phoned the Presidential office and thank goodness I did. If it was not
for me making that phone call our ‘Zumie’ would have ended up with 16 wives in
the very near future.
Very early in our discussion it became clear to me that the whole problem
is purely because our President misunderstood his wedding vows.
He thought it meant: ….   Four better, Four worse, Four richer and Four poorer.
So you can all relax. He now understands that he doesn't have to have 16
wives!!.
Donavon is starting a new business, which can save Local-Yokels a lot on their water bills…’Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.eco-h2o.co.za to see how….!!!!!

Joel writes from Chicago….. “By chance I stumbled across a great website and blog (Neal Collins) that I know your ex-SA 4000 readers will enjoy. He has a wonderful writing style, that keeps you engaged from first sentence to last -- and has now published a book called "A Game Apart". http://www.nealcollins.co.uk/index.htm Besides the book, his blog is great too -- http://www.nealcollins.co.uk/blog/index.html

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you! (Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…)

How does a blonde high-5? …. She smacks herself in the forehead. (.’Da Yuppa’)

The sports page of the Jewish Report this week, had an article about Sean Berman, the ex Souff Effrikken who has done soooo well in Tennis, and after traveling and staying all over the world has settled in Oz….Got a e-mail from his proud Bobba Marion Urfig who stays in Perth, pointing out that she was the proud Bobba….and his father Meir were very ‘Kleibing Nachus’ …Marion has been writing to me for a few years on the Shabbos letter and was involved at the Waverley Shul…’Amolikke Yoren’.Well done to the whole family…..

The Jewish Board of deputies has started a Sokka 2010 website http://jewish2010.com ‘Gib A Kuk’………

Don’t forget the DAVID AWARDS @ the Lyric Theatre – Gold Reef City..next Sunday ….Going to be an E-mazing show, and Steven leas will be coming from London to join in….. http://www.kdsf.org for details…….

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’   at;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Happy Birthday to Zelik Bedil who turned 90 this week…..Zelik’s Zunnelle Clive was at Highlands……..and he has stayed in Observatory for many years…..To the whole ‘Mishpocha’ …………. Mazeltov and many more…….
http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

MAZELTOV to Morris Silber and family...and family...and family... On 8th December, 2009, Morris Silber celebrated his 83rd birthday which coincided with Channuka. His son and grandaughter ( Alan and Michal from Israel) were privileged to be with Morris and Ettie to celebrate his birthday and to have a le'chaim at Sydenham Shul together with lots of family and friends. The family returned to Israel to continue the celebrations as well as to celebrate many other smachot in Israel. Morris & Ettie, his brother and wife, Lou (Mama’s Pies) & Dina and sister and husband, Norma & Iso Sedacca (all from Australia) joined them in a mini reunion in Israel. Iso just recently turned 80 and it was Norma and Iso's grandsons Barmitzvah. Morris and Ettie'e son, Colin and entire family came from Canada to join in the celebrations and to show their firstborn grandchild to Great Zaida Morris and Great Bobba Ettie for the first time. It was great to see little Nava Silber with her parents, her grandparents and great grandparents at the Kotel. Nava is the youngest family member and Morris is the oldest family member of the Silbers. Four generations of Silbers!! Daughter Bev ( was at Orange Grove primary with her) and husband Roy Lomnitz as well as many other family members from Canada, Australia and South Africa flew in and celebrated the many smachot during the last month in Israel (birthdays, anniversaries, bar mitzvah etc) Morris and Ettie flew back to South Africa last week, and next week fly to Australia to join Lou and Dina Silber and Norma and Iso Sedacca on a boat cruise to and around New Zealand. It is wonderful to see such a beautiful and close family able to be together in health and happiness. We wish the entire and greater extended Silber family much 'nachas' for the future and MAZELTOV .

Mazeltov to Bobba & Zaida Mike & Tiby Unterhalter who, together with family and friends flew to Dallas,Texas a few weeks ago to celebrate a double Simcha of their Twin Einingklach , Serina and Zachary Romick's Bnei Mitzvah in Dallas, We are proud of their performance at the services, and the evening African Safari party rocked with as - you call it - "ruach"!!   ..Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’….met Tiby’s Boet Ruby Postan this week at the Helfgot concert…
Picture http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Mazeltov to Lauri (Levy) and Craig (Kussel) on their engagement this week in London…..Lorie is the daughter of Naomi ( Shapiro-Lichtenburg) and Ronnie Levy and is the Zunnelle of Doctor Jack & Jill Kussel ……..Jack is on the Sandton Shul committee and has been part of the Shul for ‘Baie jare’ (many years…)….and Naomi was in my Class at Lichtenburg Primary School…. Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……..

Mazeltov to Lauren (Hahn) and Graeme Ginsburg, who got married on New Years Eve,in Los Angelos……Both the Chossen & Kallah come from the ‘Beloved Country’ as do their parents, Mervyn & Glenda Hahn (Mervyn from Joburg and Glenda (nee Freeman) from Springs) and Philip and Glenda (nee Kupshik) Ginsburg from Joburg…Glenda’s Late Dad Morris was of course the well know Kupshik’s Butchery & Polony maker…Oey, they had a ‘Tum’ (Taste…) and Pat's Caterers (also ex-Pats - Pat and Errol Fine) catered the affair and did an E-mazing job.  “ For us Californians...to have boerewors and biltong as part of the Appetizers was a real treat! “…Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……..
http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to Jodi Farber daughter of Brian and Rose Farber who married Jonti Etkind son of Pam and Milton Etkind in Sydney last month…….The Etkind family ran the Etkind family photo shops for many years…….and I grew up with Milton’s Boet Laurence…….. Rose’s sister Phillippa is married to rael Awerbach,
and a dear friend of mine….and was ‘OUR’ Sparkie (electrician) for many years….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’ …….. http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

Identity Fraud. Be aware that the ‘Gunovim are hitting hard at getting identity details and then clearing Bank accounts

Check your Bank accounts regularly, and don’t wait for a moth end statement. That might be tooooo late.

They buy furniture and appliances at stores you frequent, and when it gets delivered, they use false addresses and load the goods in waiting ‘Bakkies’.

Keep all your details under lock and key, and do not leave Pay slips, accounts etc lying around

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………

Click here to view the website :

http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…

Check out the new Archive Section
on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas

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Parsha of The Week

Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Sermonette Parshas Mishpatim
Not Yet

Everyone knows that Rome wasn’t built in a day. There isn’t a building site on earth where the contractor hasn’t explained away his delays by using that well-worn cliché. But did you know that Jerusalem wasn’t built in a day either? Nor was the Holy Land.

In this week’s reading, the Almighty tells the Jewish people that they will not inherit the land of Canaan immediately. It will be to their benefit that the conquest of the Promised Land be gradual and deliberate. To settle the land successfully would take time and they were cautioned up front to be patient. The process would unfold at a slow but steady pace so that there should be a smooth transition.

I shall not drive them away from you in a single year, lest the Land become desolate and the wildlife of the field multiply against you. Little by little shall I drive them away from you, until you become fruitful and make the Land your heritage.

Overnight sensations are often just that. They don’t necessarily last. Slow and steady, step by step, the gradual approach usually enjoys longevity and enduring success.

Every Jew has a share in the Promised Land; not only geographically but spiritually. There is a piece of Jerusalem inside each of us. We all have the capacity for holiness, sanctity and spirituality. But sometimes we may be discouraged from beginning the journey to our own personal promised land. The road seems too far, the trip too long and arduous. Here G-d is giving us wise words of encouragement. Don’t expect overnight miracles. Don’t say I have a whole country to conquer, how will I do it? Rather say where should I start today? Don’t look at the end of the road; look at the first few steps you need to take right now. Then tomorrow, you will take a few more steps and the next day the same and before long the whole land will be yours.

If you were just starting your first business venture and I asked you, Are you a millionaire? Would you say No or would you say not yet, I’m working on it? The optimistic entrepreneur will accept that having just begun his career he may not have made it big yet, but being a go-getter he is convinced that it is only a question of time before success will be his.

It should be the same in our Jewish journeys. Franz Rosenzweig (1886-1929), was a German-Jewish philosopher who as a young man actually considered opting out of Judaism completely. But his intellectual bent compelled him to at least do a proper examination of Judaism first. So he went to Shul and, as it happened, experienced a spiritual transformation. He went on to become a serious student of Judaism.

It seems that when Rosenzweig was once asked, do you put on Tefillin? his answer was not yet. Not no, but not yet – and there is a critical difference between the two. No implies that I am not doing it now nor do I have any plans to do it any time soon. Not yet means that while presently I may not be there, I am still open to the suggestion. Hopefully, the time will soon come when I will be ready to make Tefillin part of my daily observance.

The not yet approach is a good one. There is no one who does it all. We all have room for growth. We should all want to aspire higher. If we don’t practice a particular good deed at the moment there is no reason why we cannot begin doing it in the near future. Let us never be discouraged by the length of the journey. Let us begin the first steps and keep moving. It may be slow but as long as there is steady growth we will get there.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step. So if someone asks, do you put on tefillin, or do you keep kosher, or do you observe Shabbos, and you don’t, please don’t say no. Say not yet.

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