Dear All,

The weather World wide has gone ‘Mishuga’, and who would have expected such devastation as they have had in Aussie………In modern times, burning out a small town is not the normal, and of course all the Main City’s are ‘Kooking’….and back in the ‘Beloved Country’ we are having rain, like I have NEVER seen in my life time…these are major drenching storms and chaos ‘Rules’……..at this stage my
KOMPUTTA is ‘Mors Dood’ (struck by lightening, and I fear I might have lost huge amounts of Data, as I last backed up in November, and of course when you try and unload the Back up, you still loooose a forune…….This happened yesterday, soooooooo all the Jokes, Meisa’s are tied up in my ‘old’ Komputta, soooo I will try and jot a few words of wisdom down, in a hurry…..Hopefully back to normal next week…..and besides the Komputta being ‘Kaput’ the Electric Gates are also ‘Kaput’…not sure how many times one can claim for the same things……

The Pot Holes are like the ‘Groot‘ Kimberley ‘Gat’….and I reckon more than 50% of robots are on the blink………roads are washing away, all the heavy construction work, on all the major Highway and By ways are chaotic, with sand all over the Pot holes and they are difficult to see at night….had to put on some new tires and MR Levy, next to Balfour park recons that the amount of Pot hole damage is E-mazing….and you try and claim from the Men from the Ministry…..????
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke...
" The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers" "Okay" says the customer,"I'll tell it very slowly."
The Rugger ( 6 nations) , was GR888888….England need to do much more if they are to get anywhere, and the France/ Ireland game was as good as it gets….Wales look like they could take the Title again, and of course the Super 14 starts again this weekend………..
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her." How do you know there are no fish there?"
asks the blonde.
So the man coolly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
The Cricket tour starts in two weeks, and hopefully the weather starts to clear, or else we could be robbed of another (??) series win, and Mantle of World Champs…(??)……Maccabi are having a Cricket get together with Ali Bacher and the Morkel Broers at the HOD…see http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php  on the 22nd. February…... for a ‘Lekker’ Gary Friedman breakfast………E-mazing that a year ago, you would have drawn very few, BUT……should be a Jam packed affair…..and on the 17th. February, Maccabi have their Monthly get together with that GR888 sports writer Rodney Hartman giving his views…Join the Manne at the STAG @ Beyachad…… http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Well , with ‘OUR’ GR888 series win against the Aussies, and the return series in a 2 weeks time……the famous saying is“Don’t let it rip, well take the whole roll” and King David Linksfield are having a Cricket evening with Paul Harris at the HOD, next  Thursday 19th. February…..the ‘GUP’ here ,the evening is been run to raise funds for ‘BETTER’ Sporting facilities for the ‘Kindlach’ at the school…….and ex Student Barney Girnun will be the MC and Auction some GR888 items…….Macsteel & Investec and the main sponsors of the evening…for more details, please contact Arlene @ 011-480-4500………When will the BOKKE be on such a high again, Rugger and Cricket…….??? Not in my life time…get there……
A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. "Didn't you see the arrow, buddy?" he asked."
An arrow?" the confused driver said. "I didn't even see the Indians..(Einaaaaaaaaah,,,)
Last Friday was a disgrace that happened @ Beyachad (includes Zionist Fed)…after the Chief Magistrate banned a ‘Mozzie / Costau March, and they arrived in a few busses just to make ‘kak’ and I reckon were surprised that ‘Yidlach’ had also arrived in numbers…….. “It was a day that will go down in the annals of history for the Jewish community of Johannesburg”.
 “With only a few hours notice, the Johannesburg Jewish community mobilized and converged on Beyachad, the headquarters of communal organizations including the South African Zionist Federation and stood tall and proud and defiant against a counter rally by the Palestinian Solidarity Committee and COSATU (Council of South African Trade Unions).
Having been denied permission to rally against the Jewish community, the PSC and COSATU decided to go ahead with their demonstration. With great appreciation for the technological tools of bulk sms and Facebook (a few phone calls and a regular broadcasting on our community station, Chai FM) we organized press and security and placards, flags and a sound system and gathered in the grounds of Beyachad to face our opposition. From within the perimeter of Beyachad ours would be a legal gathering as opposed to theirs which was illegal and drew wary policemen who cordoned off the area surrounding us.
We came out in our numbers to say that the brazen act of aggression perpetrated by the PSC and COSATU against our community by coming into our neighbourhoods where we have schools and synagogues and private homes is unacceptable and will not be tolerated! A provocative act by South Africans against fellow South Africans will not be tolerated! Importing the Middle East conflict into our neighbourhood will not be tolerated! Coming into our neighbourhood on the eve of Shabbat, disrespecting our holy tenets will not be tolerated! Burning flags outside of Sydenham-Highlands North Shul will not be tolerated! At a time when the levels of anti-Semitism are rising rapidly in South Africa and the community is feeling vulnerable and unsettled, this open act of provocation showed us that the battle lines have been drawn.
While we respect and encourage the freedom of speech which is a benchmark of democracy, if you take political issue against another country, protest in your own neighbourhood, protest outside an embassy or in a public stadium but do not bring your hatred into our neighbourhoods!!!  I wish I could bottle and sell the vibe that resonated through everyone that day. How proud we are of our community. How magnificently Avrom Krengel, Chairman of the SAZF and Chief Rabbi Goldstein as well as Mendel Kaplan and Zev Krengel spoke. How we belted out Hatikvah and when Avrom yelled Am Yisrael Chai, he was answered with a resounding chorus of CHAI!!!!
To our organisations whose efforts are inexhaustible we salute you. Let it be known that on Friday 6 February 2009, the Johannesburg Jewish community, young and old, affiliated and non-affiliated, religious and secular stood together and said WE STAND WITH THE STATE OF ISRAEL. SHOULDER TO SHOULDER. BROTHER TO SISTER. WE WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED! Let it be known that on the 6th of February 2006 the Jews of Johannesburg took back their neighbourhood!
Salim Vally of the PSC announcing the rally on Talk Radio 702 http://www.monitoringsa.com/MSAWebsites/Digi%20Broadcast/Items_Detail.asp?ItemID=1628522  What COSATU said at the infamous January rally: http://www.cosatu.org.za/speeches/2009/zv20090114.htm  Pre-rally coverage from the Jerusalem Post: Click here to view the entire article:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull&cid=1233304701516
The above was a ‘VERY SERIAAAAS’ happening , and last night’s “ Lubavitcher “ Miracle Drive went a long way to helping with the ‘GEES’ among the ‘Yiddisher’ community, which is a bit low at the moment….The Guest Speaker , Yehuda Avner made one of the best speeches I have heard, and I believe that among the 2,000 odd that attended, by now the whole ‘Yiddisher’ community got the message…..he was powerful, and very specific on the road ahead and what had to be done…This ‘Drive’ was the BEST in many years and was VERY ‘Balabatish’ with a GR888 programme which included a short show of Fiddler on the Roof, and Adam Davis giving a very polished performance……..the ‘Captains’ of Industry and the ‘Yiddisher’ community were there in full force…  pictures  http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php
To listen to the podcast by Chief Rabbi Goldstein -"The Power of Listening"
go to: http://podcast.chiefrabbi.co.za
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
- I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

- I'm not a complete idiot.. Some parts are just missing.
- God must love stupid people; He made so many.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

- Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!


The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
- I smile because I don't know what  in the world  is going on.

Tonight I have been asked to give a few views on open market in the ‘Kosher’ industry………….Oey vy….The Beth Din with Rosh Beth Din Rabbi Moshe Kurtstag. What is a Beth Din? What is THE Beth Din? Who’s who and how does it all work?.... and
The Great Licensing Debate. Should the UOS licensing committee consider only kashrut when issuing licenses to new establishments and allow free market economics to do the rest, or, should we consider the effect new entrants will have on existing traders? Stan (the Good Shabbos man) Smookler has an opinion. And so does Rabbi Danny Saksenberg. Do you? ....Gloves are off in the studio as we discuss this controversial issue.
The show is interactive, please call in and give your input, comments and questions  call 0861 CHAIFM / 0861 242436 or email darrens@chaifm.com with ideas and comments……CHAIFM is the new ‘Yiddisher’ view point on Radio, and they have started to introduce more and more talk shows…..have ‘Ragmonis’ on me…….