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GOOD SHABBOS
12 November 2009 |
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Dear All,
The weather does not change, and we have been having some VERY heavy downpours…and it is in many parts of the ‘Beloved County’….Kimberley was flooded last week……?????.......still waiting for summer…….and it is only “40 days” to the year end holidays…..Oey vey…. My ‘KOMPUTTA’ just got hit by lightening this minute for the 4th time this year, so I hope this gets out .. what a storm……….
The Rugger on the weekend was VERY interesting, with our ‘Bokkies’ getting a Klap, and were lucky to only loose by a few points, as Leicester were all over us, and Ruan Pienaar had a shocker………we had quite a few GOOD players in the team, and it is a worry….and Tomorrow’s game against France is not going to be easy at all….the ‘Bokke’ must play it tight, as the French will come out running from the kick off and hopefully, not run us off our feet….it would put a real damper on one of the Best BOK seasons ever…….. MY prediction…The ‘Frogs’ will take us down, or get VERY close to a win……if we can somehow pull it out of the bag, we should win the rest……???????
Plaasseun stap kroeg binne met 'n volstruis onder die een arm en en 'n toiletbak vol R100 note onder die ander. ….. Die kroegman vra: "En die?"
Seun: " My pa het gesê as jy "girls" soek, moet jy of 'n groot voël hê of 'n kakhuis vol geld hê. …. Ek vat nie kanse nie.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaik……
The Aussie / England game was a tough one, and in the end the Aussies deserved to win, BUT….it was not that easy…Twickenham looked E-mazing, and what a crowd…..The Schvartzers did well to beat Wales, and in the first half, I had my doubts….second half belonged to the All Blacks, and gone are the days when they dominated with their forwards, and these days, they rely solely on Carter to pull them through….Methinks that Ritchie Macaw MIGHT not make the 2011 World Cup in NZ, as he is a pale shadow of the World’s greatest Flank in modern times…….and besides these two, there are very few Shpielers really showing GR888 All Black class of yesteryear….I like Conrad Smith the centre and he could develop into a world class player….those rolling mauls and throwing back a pass for 2/3 ‘MIGHTY’ All Blacks to catch are over…..that brand of Rugger is lost…very sad……
This weekend sees the start of the Engleeeeesh Cricket series, and we will have to be ‘Wakker’ to win the series, with our poor showing in the Champions Cup…..
We desperately need some GOOD line bowlers, who can pin a batsman down and eventually get a few wickets…what we have now is a few ‘Cowboys’ who take a few wickets, BUT….cannot pin Batsman down for any length of time…..
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect golf vacation.
Two days before the group is to leave Bill's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Bill's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the golf resort only to find Bill has already checked in, been to the driving range and was practicing his putting.
"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said …
"do whatever you want." And here I am. ……..
One of the best ‘Youtube’ adverts…Pepsi/coke, Mafia Style…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJZEv5oRpcE
This ‘Youtube’ is SERIAAAAAS & quite disturbing…….not sure that anything will ever happen, BUT….’WE’ are being watched, even on Facebook……E-mazing how killing 3,500 innocent people at 9/11 is not even a big issue, BUT….when the ‘Mumzers’ are involved, it becomes a BIG issue……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlyV-tUr3sw
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. ……So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband. You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
Melrose Arch has expanded tremendously…not sure where all the Shoppers are, BUT….Norman Goodfellows ( The Kramer Boys..) have opened a new store in the ARCH, and it should prove VERY popular among the ‘Shikkerer’s……it is next to the Woolworths……..while down the road in Grant Avenue in Norwood, where the Concord Bakery was , comes a NEW Capello’s…….Norwood is just not what it used to be, BUT…years ago, in Orange Grove, next to Pappagallo, that FAMOUS Ice Cream joint, was Marcello’s shoes, and Pino who was there ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and then went into the Brazilian, Europa, etc, etc and now is known as ‘Mr. Coffee’, son is involved with Capello’s…..Pino is of course an ex Highlands North High product………that Marcello’s in its day was ‘THE’ Place among the ‘Kugels’……..
MARGATE….E-mazing 3 weeks available at Ithaca timeshare..18th. December – 8th. January. Spacious & fully serviced…..6 sleeper..self catering…GR8888 for ‘Frum’ families …can ‘Kasher’ & Cook…..Parking, and 2 minutes to beach…Contact 083-6085910. Really a GR8888888 spot…..
Timeshare Week for sale, available in Israel in Coral Beach, Eilat .The Resort is the Eilat Club Hotel 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, 4 Guests Maximum . From Sunday 20th December to Sunday 27th December 2009 …. Nina @ Nvarkel@gmail.com
Judith and Isaac are having an mighty row. "I’m disappointed in you, Isaac,"
shouts Judith. "When I first married you, I thought you were a brave man.
""Yes dear," Isaac replies, "and so did all my friends.
It’s the first night of Passover and Morris and Sadie, together with their two sons, 4 year old Simon and 7 year old Isaac, are holding their annual seder night service.
Soon it was time for manishtana to be read by the youngest one present.
As soon as Simon asks, "why is this night different from all other nights," quick as a flash, his older brother Isaac replies, "because mummy cooked."
Got an e-mail from Oz that the ‘old’ Yiddisher’ meeting place, The Hakoah Club is sadly closing it's doors in Bondi Beach after all these years…BUT…will reopen somewhere else…BUT doubts that it will ever reopen…..
In a interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America?
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said "I believe that forgiving them is God's function.
OUR job is to arrange the meeting". (Vat hom Fluffy…..)
Oey vey, looks like the ‘Ozzie’ ex Pats are on the move this summer….. Situated in Coogee, Sydney between 11th Dec and 27th Jan. It is a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom newly renovated duplex close to the beach………….
Carolyn Lipman clipman66@optusnet.com.au
THE CRUISE
DEAR DIARY . DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined.
Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, and went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice … (Oey vey………….)
The condition of our roads is really getting ‘Shreiklach’…with Potholes the size of Kimberley Hole appearing everywhere, and of course the Robots are on the blink ALL the time…quite E-mazing that the Robot at Scott / Stirling , just down the road from SASFIN , that I pass every morning, has been out of order for the past 12 days, and I have tried calling a few numbers, and of course, there is no answer….Tyres are just not lasting, with the poor quality of the Roads, BUT….we are told ‘alles sal reg kom’…before 2010 Sokka World Cup…Me wonders what the ‘blerry’ hell happens after 2010…..???? I have posted a few pictures of a Golf that nearly got swallowed up in a massive Pot /Sink hole….. Pictures
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php the swallow took place in Durban near the Essenwood Shul…….makes one wonder….???
Rachel says to her husband Abe, "what would you do if I won lotto?"
He says, "I'd take half then leave you."
" E-mazing ," she replies, "I won 12 bucks, here's 6 now off you go !"
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President Obama Goes To The Doctor…………….
Barrack Obama gets out of the shower and is drying off when .He looks in the mirror and notices he is literally 'white' from the neck up to the top of his head. Even his hair is white.
In sheer panic and fearing he is turning white and might have to actually start working for a living, he calls the White House doctor and explains his problem.
The doctor advises Obama to lay low and he will be right over.
After a thorough examination, the doctor leaves the room and returns With a mixed concoction of brown liquid, gives it to Barrack, And advises him to drink it all.
Barrack drinks the concoction and replies, 'Yuck - - That tasted like ‘Bobbameises’ !'
The doctor replies, 'It was, you were a quart low.' (Mmmmmmmmm…)
Would like to thank Ann Lapedus Brest (digitalphoto@icon.co.za ) for the ‘Lekker’ pictures she sent me of the Arcadia re union at Hollard last week….Old & Young Arc’s gathered…and there were also ‘Yidlach’ from the Ochberg group at the get together….I think the pictures speak for themselves, and I will not add anything, except to say ‘Shakeach’ to Jules Gordon and his team for keeping the Arc memories alive, and worldwide there is soooo much interest and ‘Chaverskap’ among the ex Arcs and Ochberg survivors………Ann’s pictures are quite E-mazing, and she does private photography and Family Trees and is writing a book about the Joburg ‘Yidlach’ from Amolikke Yoren’….. I know I said I would not ‘Koch’ over the pictures as they speak for themselves, BUT……in the one picture is Keith Lang, and he is married to Diane (Goldberg) from Lictenburg….The Goldberg family, that is a letter on its own…….www.annebrestphotography.co.za a must see group of pictures ….. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php
FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……
Mazeltov to Ruth (Bakst) & Steven Leas on the birth of their Princess last week in London….steven is of course the ex Chazzan of Linksfied Shul, and has done a lot of Chazzonis & Opera singing in London, and has now started a ‘Simcha Band’ in London……. Ruth Mom is the daughter of the Late Karl Kropman from Klerksdorp, and I knew him from my days in Lichtenburg…..Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha….
Mazeltov to “Aunty “ Sarah Berger on her 90th. Birthday last weekend….what a special occasion….Sarah is of course a ‘Landsleit’ from Lichtenburg, and I was / am VERY friendly with the family, and Beile, her daughter was in my class till Std 3 in Lichtenburg, and Ezra ( last ‘Yidel’ in Lichtenburg ) her Boet was one of ‘our’ gang in Lichies, and boy were we naughty……..Gosh, hard to believe that Aunty Sarah has known me for the past 57 years…Einaaaaaaah, word oud……..saw Marlene & Sonny Cooper, Molly Kanarek and Naomi (Levy) & Ronnie Levy there…were VERY lucky with the weather…..Mazeltov to Sarah, and many, many more years in health… http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
A few ‘Goldene ‘ones for the birthday girl…..
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,…..
''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?'
Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?'
She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her ‘Tochus’ was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth R100,000 . . please advise.'
The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time.... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?’.
Spent Shabbos @ Eishhhhhhhhh (Aish Hatorah) for Danny Flax’s 21st, and I reckon they will remember the ‘Hugba’ for years to come….even though I had it under control, others ‘Skikked’ and thought that I was going to drop the Torah (Gas Va Sholem)……met the Suckermans (Danny’s Aunt & Uncle ) from Israel, and what a small Yiddisher’ world it is…there ‘Kinderlach ‘ in Haifa have started a English/ Networking website www.anglo-list.com Sue describes the website as follows…. “An information website for olim, potential olim, students and visitors to Israel that provides them with practical information, useful tips and suggestions on numerous issues on life in Israel and tackles some difficult issues that non-Hebrew speakers have to deal with: how the medical and education system work, employment, understanding your bills, dealing with suspicious objects, war and bomb shelters, slang, phonetic dictionary, a forum and community. Never befor has there been a site like it that has put "Haifa on the map". The site will evolve to include the entire country. It differs from the official websites of the various Jewish Federations, the Jewish Agency and municipal bodies. It is a private sight, English speaking professionals can advertise on it and recommendations can be made. Potential olim can research practical aspects of their Aliyah on the sight and can make decisions based on the information in the site. New olim can use it as a platform to meet people and develop a social and professional network that might have otherwise taken those years to do”. They also offer the opportunity for Companies etc to advertise on the Web…..
anglolist@gmail.com
Sincere condolences to Mark and Bruce Cohen who recently mourned the loss of their Dear father Harry Cohen, Zvi Ben Nocham Hacohen, who passed away 3 November 2009, after a short illness. We would like to express our thanks to all those who helped in consoling our grief, and supported us in this time.
The JHB Chevra Kadisha, Sydenham Shul, and congregation, Torah Academy, and friends and relations who know who they are. With thanks Mark Cohen - Adelaide Australia. Mark was in my Year at Hotel School and ran the TAC Kosher for a few years, before going to Adelaide where he deals in Wine import / Export….Bruce is in the ‘Beloved Country’ and is with Mweb…Sincere condolences to the whole family …….
The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm
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| MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week; |
- Have your key ready, but not visible.
- Inspect the outside and inside of the vehicle before unlocking.
- Know your destination and directions to it, and be alert should you get lost.
- Always drive with your windows and doors locked and/or closed.
- Make a mental note of any Police Stations in the vicinity while driving.
- When dropping a passenger off, make sure that they are safely in their own vehicles before departing.
- Avoid driving through high crime or unfamiliar areas.
- Avoid driving late at night at/or the early hours of the morning when the roads are quiet.
- Drive in the centre lane away from pedestrians where possible.
- If possible, never drive alone.
- NEVER, EVER pick up hitchhikers.
- Never follow routine routes when driving; change on a regular basis.
- Do not leave windows open more than 5cm.
- Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time………
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Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…
From Stan and the Clan.
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Parsha of The Week |
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Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Help Yourself
"G-d helps those who help themselves"
Is this statement heresy? Does it deny the hand of G-d in our successes? I recall a conversation with a self-proclaimed atheist who used the expression very cynically, suggesting that his considerable achievements were entirely his own and that G-d had nothing to do with it.
I beg to differ. To my mind, "G-d helps those who help themselves" is a perfectly religious statement. What it means is absolutely consistent with traditional Jewish thinking. G-d does indeed help us to accomplish things, but He requires us to help ourselves first. If we just sit back and wait for miracles to happen, we may be disappointed.
"G-d will bless you in all that you do," (Deuteronomy 15, 18) makes it very clear. Our blessings come from G-d, but we must do. Of course, we believe in miracles--but we mustn't rely on them. The combination of our own hard work and efforts coupled with G-d's blessing is the ideal road to success.
The classic analogy is the farmer. He can plough and plant, sow and shvitz from today until tomorrow but if the rains don't come nothing will grow. Conversely, all the rains in the world will not cause anything to grow if the farmer hasn't planted first. After the farmer has done his work and the rains come from above, there will be a plentiful crop. And it's the same story whether we are farmers or shopkeepers, professionals or artisans, employers or employees.
There are religious ideologies that frown upon medical intervention when someone is ill. They see it as a lack of faith in the great Healer of all Flesh. In fact, right now in my own community, there is a court case going on because a hospital gave a blood transfusion to a child who was critically ill, but it was against the wishes of the parents who objected on the grounds of their religious beliefs. Judaism maintains that while G-d is indeed the Supreme Healer, He chooses to work through the efforts of trustworthy medical practitioners.
This week's Parshah tells of Isaac taking Rebecca as his wife. "And Isaac brought her to the tent of Sarah his mother." Rashi, quoting the Midrash, explains this to mean more than the obvious. When she entered the tent, it was as if she was Sarah, Isaac's mother. Because Sarah was of such saintly character, she was granted three special miracles. Her Shabbat candles burned the entire week, her dough was particularly blessed, and a heavenly cloud attached itself to her tent. When Sarah died, these blessings disappeared. When Rebecca arrived on the scene, they resumed immediately. In fact, this was a clear sign to Isaac that Rebecca was indeed his soul mate and that the shidduch was made in Heaven.
Each of those three miracles, however, required some form of human input first. A candle and fire had to be found, the dough had to be prepared and a tent had to be pitched before G-d would intervene and make those miracles happen. In other words, He does help us but we must help ourselves first.
It's a little like the fellow who would make a fervent prayer to G-d every week that he win the lottery. After many months and no jackpot in sight, he lost his faith and patience. In anguished disappointment, he vented his frustration with the Almighty. "Oh, G-d! For months I've been praying to you. Why haven't you helped me win the lottery all this time?" Whereupon a heavenly voice was heard saying, "Because you haven't bought a ticket, dummy!"
I wish it were that simple to win lotteries. But the fact is that it is the same in all our endeavors. G-d helps those who help themselves. May we all do our part. Please G-d, He will do His.
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