Popped into The Reichenberg Barmy @ the HOD this weekend, just to say Howzit to Saul’s  Dad Mark, whose Barmy I did 33 years ago…….?? It was a Barmy to remember as Mark’s Dad Hilly got Chickenpox and the Barmy party was delayed for a week…….and I went on to do Mark & Jodi (Dodo) wedding in a Marquee in Hume Road, and now I popped into his Zunnelle’s Barmy…Mark is going on Aliya to Israel with the family, and I wish them all the success they deserve…Mark’s Mom Shirley is married to Gerry Ostrofsky, my Chaver Howard’s Dad…….so I have had continual contact with Mark for years, and have always said it was the ‘Pox Barmy’…. Took a few pictures; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php  E-mazing how certain Simcha’s stick in ones mind, and the other day Colin Richman in Atlanta signed in, and then wrote that I would most probably not remember his wedding, as it was over 30 years ago, and they still talk about how it rained, and was in Vereeniging, and I replied immediately, that it must have been the Plit Wedding, on the 15th. December, the evening before Dingaan’s day, as it was known in the ‘Struggle’ years…and he confirmed it was…….That wedding will always stick in my mind, as I cannot remember ever doing another wedding in such horrific weather…….It rained like we had never seen, and it was a Miracle that the tent did not collapse. Those were ‘Tukka’ the good days. 1975 ………WWW ..  What Was, Was
A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed.  
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew
he was not speeding.
 Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's
pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

My Zunnelle Joel in London works for a Kosher Caterer-Royal Cuisine, and they did the Cocktail Party at the Theatre for a Dudu Fisher concert…reckons it was E-mazing, and my other Zunnelle is still at Yeshiva in Jerusalem, and gets around, having spent Shabbos with an old Sandtonian, Mark Hummel
in Mod’in Din  Pics http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php  For the ‘Kaylikka’s’ on the list, I will start reminding everyone, that I am visiting my Zunnelle’s in London & Israel in July, soooooo I will write the LAST letter on the 7th.July (after the Final British Lions Test- Oey vy) and send the next one on the 30th. July, on my return……During that period have ‘Ragmonis’ (Pity) on my Komputta…..If you want to send me something during that period, use my G-Mail one ssmookler@gmail.com

Popped into the Rakusin / Aarons wedding on Monday , and it was a WOW….very stylish.. Very Schick… and what a ‘ Lebedike’ Evening it was..
Mazeltov to Kim ( Rakusin ) & Darryn Aaron, to the parents, Sharon, Debbie  & Jeff…… and the whole Mishpocha……. Darryn’s late father, Steven was one of the Brothers from the original ‘Turn & Tender’ steakhouses, that started in Greenside ‘Amolikke Yoren’, and Jeff , Kim’s Dad had his two Boets, Michael ( Too-Run-Too) & Hedley ( Dallas) arrive & Anthony  (Joburg)……Debbie is of course a renowned Choreographer, and did the African Footprint show, among many others….. Debbie’s Schvester Linda, is married to my ‘Old’ Lichtenburg Chaver Mike Kletz……….. E-mazing evening.. Pictures
 http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’

Evening Prayers
 When young Dovid was asked by his father to say the evening prayer, he
 realized he didn't have his head covered......so he asked his little
 brother Yitzchack to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over.
‘Yitzy’ grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand.
The father said, "This is important...put your hand back on his head!"
 To which Yitzchack exclaimed, "What, am I my brother's kipah?"

For E-mazing Kipah’s, contact the Manne at ; sacap@iafrica.com
021-671 2803 (Alan or David) …They make all sorts of Logo’s, Simcha ones etc….. See http://www.stantgsm.com/list_directory.php for details......

An Aussie garbage collector is going along a street picking up the wheelie
 bins (garbage bins ) and emptying them into his garbage truck.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, so he has a quick
look for it, goes round the back of the house, but still can't see it.
So, against the rules but in the spirit of kindness, he knocks on the door.
There's no answer.

 Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Japanese bloke comes to the door.
'Harro!' says the Japanese chappie.
'Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?' asks the collector
'I bin on da toiret' explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realizing the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man
 smiles and tries again.
 'No mate, where's your dust bin?'.
'I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man - still perplexed.

 'Listen,' says the collector. 'You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie bin?'
'Ok. Ok. I tell you' replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin.
' I wheelie bin havin sex wiffa wife's sistah.........!' (Eishhhhhhhhhhhh…).

Maccabi news is that they are still trying to raise some ‘Geld’ for the ‘Rugger’ team to go…….a must in my opinion…….. The WHOLE ‘Ostrofsky Clan’ are going to the Games, as the two boys are playing Junior & Senior cricket, and Howards Boet Wayne, is coming from Boca to have his Barmy at the Kotel (Western Wall) , a few days before the games.. Mazeltov… Barbara Shotland ex Durban will represent Australia in bowls at the Games……………..

A Well-Planned Retirement (from the London Times)..?? Bobbameises…????

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses.
It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about R13) and coaches £5 (about R65).
This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.
"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant..."
"Er ... no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."
"Er ... no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"
"Er ... NO!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, is a bloke who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about R5200) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million (R46.8 million).
And no one even knows his name!  ( Could this be another PONZI….???)

Last week saw the opening of the ‘NEW’ Morningside Shopping Centre, where my ‘Corner Café’ was for 35 years……..and it has been madly busy for the past week, with Tuesday 16th. June , a Public Holiday, and in my few visits saw soooo many Yids from other suburbs…coming to ‘Gib A Kuk’…At the Opening and Ribbon cutting, Pat Flanagan (ex Transvaal cricketer & provisional Hockey player… ) of the Developing company explained that although the Major retailers had applied, the Centre is made up of mostly unknown shops, and it is a very exciting mix, with some E-mazing little ‘Shopkales’…..there is plenty of Parking and it will really become the Centre for the area, with a well run operation, with Catherine Spiers (Kikki) as the Centre Manageress…….Bev’s gift shop has opened in the Centre, and has my Joke Book, at a  ‘Fathers Day’ special at R80……see pictures at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php 

Write Hand Woman….Ruth is an E-mazing speech writer for Simcha’s, Conferences , etc, etc. Contact Ruth on 082 857 7337 or  rlurie@mweb.co.za
See details at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_directory.php

“ Ladies join us for a night of Challa baking, inspiration and unity, where each women will make their own dough while the spiritual meanings behind each ingredient will be explained. It will PG take place on 23 July at 7pm at Sandton Shul hall. Donation R90( including ingredients, gifts and charity. To book please  sms 0721992393 with your name and cell number. My Niece Robyn ‘Smookie’ has always had a passion to teach as many ‘Meidlach’ as she can reach to bake Kitke’s for Shabbos………..Together we can turn the darkness into light...

On the political front, the ‘Wekkers’ are being egged on by the ANC’s partners (Balaboses..??) to strike for any reason, and although quite a few strikes are justified, it has really become a ‘silly season’ for strikes…..and unfortunately if the ‘galeria’ don’t get their way, they start going ‘Masuga’ and breaking everything in sight….see that Young Julius (Malema) ‘THEIR’ youth league ‘Balabos’ had a lot to say on Youth Day (June 16th Soweto Day), that the youth had got Zuma in and that it was payback time…????

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’  at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Mazeltov to Howard (Rabinowitz) & Toni (Efune ) Jade on their whirlwind engagement this week….Toni is of course the well know Simcha Photographer and Howard was in my Zunnelle’s class at King David Victory Park….Toni is also ex VP…….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’………..

Mazeltov to Chaim Segall of Houston who turned 80 this week ‘Kein Ein en hora’......……..Chaim was with the IUA in the ‘Beloved Country’ for many years…To Mary & the family, ‘Shakeah’ and many more
Ken Ein en hora......

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week; Very difficult warning ; These days the Gunovim are using false Police ID’s, Uniforms , Cars etc…….. Very difficult to know if they are the real Cops or Imposters….. When in doubt drive to the nearest Police station…do not endanger your lives in case they are ‘Tukka’ cops…Just be aware that this is taking place on a Large Scale… The same goes for bogus Internet messages asking for Pin numbers, and intimate banking details…. NEVER change your internet banking payments to new addresses sent over the Internet….. see http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php  This is a BOGUS request, which actually looks better than the real thing..Pasop…! ! !  ! (Thanks Tony). Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time………   Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website : http://www.stantgsm.com Have a peaceful, restful  Shabbos….… From  Stan and the Clan. smookler@netactive.co.za PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate ) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!  Cell  082-4547860 Is your business in need of an innovative and professional website? Please contact RAW Media Concepts on: Tel- (+27 11 796 6671) | www.rawmedia.co.za

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book…. CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut   www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…