Dear All,

The weather is starting to improve, with not sooo much rain, BUT….the damage is huge………and it comes down HARD, but not every day…….The Aussie fire’s seem to have stopped, BUT …what a tragedy……whole areas wiped out…some Incredible pictures were sent to me….and people I know, lost people they knew….real tragic…..Pictures
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php ..... they reckon that temps are still in the 40 / 50 degrees……… a bit of Info from herb in Melbourne…was in my Class at Highlands…. 51  Deg C   IN THE  SHADE  last  Saturday  7 / 2/ 2009. 
 (That was from a measurement off a precision thermometer I had in the office toolbox in the boot of my car  -   reading   51 Deg C    (  Or   122 Deg F ) ]

Another priceless quote from OZ…………….
"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Phil Waugh – Warratah’s )

The ‘Rugger’ has begun, and the Wales – England match was the pick of the 6 Nations games, and England are battling to find their form……..and Wales held on for another win……..The Super 12 started , and it is not the same….teh Tournament has lost toooooo many ‘Names’ , and it will take awhile for the New Shpielers to shape………the Lions ( Ou Transvaal) held onto their lead and scrapped through, BUT…..it was encouraging to see more than just a handful of spectators, and I am sure it was the ‘Punts’ given by their sponsors, Radio 94.7 which brought the spectators….’Gonna be a long season, and it is difficult to call a winner…..a ‘biesel’ Schmooooooooooootz’ as one reader wrote about some jokes I had………My ‘old’ Nationalist Newspaper, The Citizen had a brilliant heading on the front page yesterday….. ‘Joostlaaaaaaaaaaaik’…Joost Van Der Westhuizen was ‘our’ Bok Scrumhalf in the ’95 world cup, and some Magazine had pictures of him with a ‘Lady of the Night’, BUT….Jooooost says…Not me….?? I suppose time will tell, BUT……..who knows…???? My thoughts 70/30 its him……….‘Lekker’ joke @ http://www.stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php

The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish. 
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly. They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.
Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.
Adult alligator’s droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

The Aussies seem to have got a bit of their pride back, by drawing the ODI’s against NZ, BUT….it was not easy….difficult to say what will happen these next few weeks, BUT…..we should win, BUT….It will not be easy……… Rumour has it (??) that a few Aussies MIGHT be at the Maccabi Breakfast at the HOD on Sunday…for details .. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php ..’OUR’ Manne must be ‘Wakker’, or else…’Slagtersnek’………………….

There are three ways to get something done:
Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small,
and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

In December I met up by chance with some ex Pats from Sydney, Josie Rosenberg + David Suransky….and they promised to send me some pictures they took…..They reckon the HIGHLIGHT ( Ya,Ya…) was meeting Stan, The Good Shabbos Man and they were very impressed with the changes that had taken place since their last visit a few years ago, and went on to the Pilanesberg, Tokyo, and many other places of interest..  http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

English / Chinese Translations
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?
Bumper Shabbos for me this past week @ Sandton Shul………It was my Zunnelle Martins Parsha from his Barmy (Yitro) and also his last Shabbos before he leaves for the Ohrsom Yeshiva in Yerushalayim this week…….and an added bonus was the shiur that Yehuda Avner gave after the Brocha (Banquet)….the Brocha was superb, and the Shul has employed Cynthia Duchen ( old Chaver) to assist with the Shul Brocha’s……… Ambassador Avner was again SUPERB (heard him at Miracle Drive), and drew a crowd of close to 400 ….it was like I was in another world , the way he spoke of Israel, and made every ‘Yid’ there feel PROUD to be a ‘Yid’…what a speaker…….and what knowledge he brings…What a GR8888 Shabbos it was……Martin left on Monday with his Chavers Graeme Shapiro & Craig (Fanie) Jankelow, for 6 months of learning at Yeshiva……must get there for the Maccabi games………… and a added bonus was that Yehuda Avner was on the flight………..
An  Israeli arrives at London's Heathrow airport
As he fills out the entry form, the immigration officer asks him: "Occupation?"
No Just visiting…….. (Oey vy…………..)

The Union of Jewish Women, for the lecture "Landmarks Of Johannesburg - Past And Present" that I have been invited to present in the UJW House Auditorium at 1 Oak Street, corner St John Road, off Louis Botha Avenue, Houghton at 9.30 am on Monday 23 February.  Anyone interested in attending the lecture can contact 011-648-1053. The lecturer is my ‘old’ Lichtenburg Chaver, Brian Altchuler………….. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

Trucker
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.
He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is - an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of Crisp bacon.
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?

She replied, "I thought while you were
Waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as
Well gas up!"
FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…………….).

There have been sooo many E-mazing stories, newspaper article etc on Israel, and it is GR888 to see the support from around the World……found these Cartoons VERY good…………

Click here to see the Cartoons...

A very interesting ‘Blog’ site is the Supernatural one, that has won quite a few prestigious awards for their accurate reporting as a counter for Anti Israel ‘Yiddisher’ reports…they are UP to date, every day, and you can always access the LATEST in The ‘Beloved Country’ Yiddisher community affairs…… http://supernatural.blogs.com/weblog/antisemitism_1/
Couple of good ‘Youtubes’…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtlDVi_1JMg  1970 – 1st. Black USofA President….! !
One of the best Israel presentations I have seen, about ISRAEL and NOT the war….. http://www.aboutisrael.co.il/heb/freepage.php?id=997
http://markbergerspeaks.wordpress.com  I think Mark Berger had the same ‘Engrish’ teacher as me…..?????
E-mazing ‘Yiddisher’ website…   “ Vos is neias” What’s happening Gib A Kuk http://www.vosizneias.com
Gotta Luv the Irish…………..

Paddy was in New York.  He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.  The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.'  Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.  He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.   He quickly  phoned his best friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney.   'Where are ye callin' from?'

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord!  He's done it again!'

The ANC must be the luckiest Political Party in the World, as daily, cockroaches creep out of their DARK cupboard, and they still seem to maintain this Incredible majority in Parliament….Young Julius Malema (whose Idol was /is Idi Amin..??) just keeps talking absoluuuuuut ‘Bobbameises’ and each time he is warned by the Manne , he does it again…just worse, and running down the Minister of Education for her false ‘Eeeemerikan’ accent got him into a lot of Tzorres, BUT……..he has again said sorry ( The newspaper headlines read…’Julius says Sorrie’), and will continue again sooooon…….
This weekend the Carl Nieuhaus story broke, and normally when a spokesman for a Political party is caught with his hands in the till, heads roll…etc, etc…not ‘OUR’ ANC…they will stand by the Goniff, and give him another position in the ANC, as Carl went thru’ the struggle with the ANC and they will re habilitate him…only last week, JZ said that there was ZERO tolerance on corruption, fraud etc in the ANC……what a ‘LAG’….BUT even with all this Tzorres, they will still come in VERY strong as they have the Unions and ‘Kommies’ behind them……Oh……’Cry The Beloved Country’…….. latest saying is ‘Carl Nohouse’ and after the latest revelations, they are ‘Skopping’ him out, BUT…the damage has been done….Carl’s Lawyers statement today “ Apatheid did it’…what a schmuck……how many people have fought in ‘struggle wars’ and are decent citizen’s, not ‘Gunovim’……..