Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
20 November 2008

Dear All,

We have had an E-mazing amount of rain in the ‘Beloved Country’, BUT….the weather is still ‘Bakgat’ (nice) ……and I am sure it will start drying up with the sunshine………………(’Like the Chevra Kadisha’…….. Eventually)

The weekend was full of ‘Rugger’ again with the ‘Bokke’ playing Scotland……the ‘Manne’ do not want to believe that ‘Bok’ Rugger is a last gasp affair in most games, and it has to stop……Scotland were WELL beaten last week by the All Blacks second team, and we struggled, and I must say I spent more time watching the clock, than the game……watching the game for a second time, I am E-mazed when I read a few reports that in the Second half we started showing authority…Oey vy. Methinks the Boks could have a ‘Blinder’ against England , and then all is forgotten again, BUT….that is not a GR8 Rugger team, that relies on a good win every now and then to forget the ‘KAK’ games…???

All Blacks playing Ireland was just the opposite, with exiting moves making the game sooo ‘lekker’ to watch, and when one thinks how many players have retired and play in Europe, it is Skrikky’ to see how quickly they have built another good/great team and are always changing tactics…….‘
Italy / Argentina was another bruising encounter with the Puma’s beating the Italians…….The French played ‘tough’ Rugger to beat the Islanders quite easily in the end…….
Met OS (OX) Durand at the Auction Alliance end of year get together…..such a ‘Mench’, and what a ‘Shpieler’ he was …works for the Alliance group down in the Vrystaaaaaaaat….Picture http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Two immigrants meet on the street. 'How's by you?' asks one.
'Could be worse. And you?'
'Surviving. But I have been sick a lot this year and it's costing me a
fortune. In the past five months, I've spent over $10,000 on doctors and medicine.'
'Ach, back home on that kind of money, you could be sick for two years.'

A very nice Youtube ,By Rabbi Lau for Aish (Eish..??)
http://www.aish.com/heroesOfIsrael/heroesOfIsraelDefault/Chief_Rabbi_Lau.asp
Another Link worth reading is from ‘OUR’ Honorary ‘Balabos’ Evita Bezuidenhout, on the Struggle, The ANC, and the new Struggle…what a Lag
http://www.evita.co.za/new_page_2.htm The Souff Effrikken ‘Yiddisher’ radio programme starts next week…see the ‘Youtube’ ..CHAIFM 101.9………
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMOC-kQ5gbs

Solly awakes and, as he's been doing now for over 35 years, he immediately goes into the bathroom to get ready to go to work.
But 15 minutes later, he's still in the bathroom and it's no surprise that his wife Rachel finally hammers on the door and shouts out,
"What on earth are you doing in there, Bernie? Why are you taking so long?"

"It's simple, Rachel," Solly shouts back.
"As I get balder and balder, it's taking me longer and longer to wash my face."

African Hut www.africanhut.com in Irvine has the Jokebook, PLUS many Souff Effrikken ‘gerichten’……Gib A Kuk’ @ http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php can also order on the internet for delivery in the Whole USofA………….

Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words
Criminal:    A guy no different from the rest ... except that he got caught.
Boss:         Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:   One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after?
Classic:    Books which people praise but do not read.
Office:       A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Oey vy, they had an underground fire in Joburg, and virtually the whole City centre was without power, and some areas were out for nearly two days, and with all the Road works going on it was really chaotic……I have never seen this much road works in Joburg/Suburbs, it is massive with nearly every highway and main road effected….total chaos, and of course with the storms we have had, many Robots out of order all around the place……..

A Jewish couple was celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. During the feast, the woman stood up and said:
"I'd like to make a toast to myself for sticking it out with this man for fifty years,
and I want to tell you, that the fifty years of our marriage have passed like two days."

The crowd was very moved by her words.
But one man asked, "Why like two days, and not like one day?"
"The fifty years of our marriage," replied the woman, "were like two days:
Tisah B'av and Yom Kippur….( Oeyvevoy…………).

The ANC and their breakaway Chavers COPE are really making a ‘Matza pudding’ of the situation, instead of just carrying on like leaders……Oey vy, is that what they are supposed to be…….looks like they are following ‘Uncle Bob’ from Zim-BOB-We……he is really taking on everyone and winning………his Cavalcade is renowned for taking people out on the roads, and we had an incident, where the Government Cavalcade shot the tyres of a motorist who they said was in the way, and caused a massive accident…….at least the ‘Scumbags’ were arrested , and refused bail…for now…????? With OUR Manne acting soooo irresponsibly at the moment, it is just a matter of time before vIOLENCE breaks out among the poor & un educted as they have no idea what is actually going on and are VERY easily ‘manipulated’……soooo much has been said by the ANC on the name usage of the new Party, that no one has time to actually get down and do a bit of Governing…….and this is worrying, as the ‘Masses’, are very volatile as we now from the past, in a second they burn & ‘Slag’……??? Very worrying times at the moment……

4 MOMS

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,

'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.
Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.' (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaah…)

Got an E-mail from an ‘old’ Catering Chaver of mine Mark Cohen in Adelaide, with E-mazing stuff on a Yiddisher Aussie who is doing GR8 down under in Cricket and could just open for the Aussies one day (especially with Mathew Hayden looking a bit ‘shell shocked’ in India). Michael Klinger is married to a Souff Effrikken ‘Meidel’ Cindy Kupshik…..Cindy’s ‘Zaida’ was the Late Morris Kupshik who had the butchery on Louis Botha Avenue in Orange Grove who made incredible Polonies & Sausages,etc. They all stay in Melbourne and Cindy’s parents Arnold & Shirley also stay there…Read about his innings of 221 ;
http://news.smh.com.au/sport/klinger-thumps-221no-for-redbacks-20081112-5noz.html

One thing about Australians is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place

T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Alderman from Newcastle, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
HIS STATEMENT:
'If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's nuts to a car's battery cables will save just one Australian's life, then I have just three things to say,'
Red is positive,
Black is negative, and
Make sure his nuts are wet.'

Got a few Seriaaaaaaaaaas E-mails from Israel ‘Kakking’ me out about promoting various of my Chaveirim who do Immigration around the World, and that I was biased against Aliyah, which is 100% a wrong fact….and “ Ripleys Believe it or Not “ and old Stan & Pete waiter and Chaver sends me an E-mail, as he assists people in the property line, in the ‘Land of Milk & Honey’…….Firstly, the ‘Good Shabbos’ E-mail is mainly about the ‘Beloved Country’ and ex Pats in the Diaspora…and of course Israel, sooooo I was very happy to receive David Shacknofsky’s E-mail…. David has joined a Tel Aviv company Terra Nostra, and is trying to establish a division where he can assist ‘ex Pats’ who are looking for a property in Israel whether it is to buy or rent for their own use or for investment purposes. They specialize in the North of Tel Aviv but are able to assist throughout Israel. The property market operates very differently here and I believe it would be useful to have someone like myself to assist in educating and guiding potential buyers (or tenants) with the process.Contact David at ;
Tel +972 (0) 77 400 8999 terranos@zahav.net.il This info arrived just at the right moment……David and his Boet Trevor worked for quite a long time, and were both good Sokka Shpielers in their day….. for those who gave me a ‘Mapola’, I did reply and ask for some ‘Gevaldik’ stuff from the ‘Land of Milk & Honey ‘ and am still waiting……….. ??? What can I do if ex Pats OUT of Souff Effrikka send me this immigration stuff…?? Tell them that unless they promote Israel, I cannot mention their news……I don’t think so, as not all ‘Yidden’ are suited to Israel…That is a fact, BUT….send us news from where ever you are, it is welcome……. An ‘old Chaver, Cecil Bass, who was a Joburg City Councillor in HIS day, is back this week, and has some exciting news from Aussie…..
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php Cecil was actually part of the Committee who introduced Joburg to “Music in the Park at Zoo Lake” ‘Amolikke Yoren’…I reckon the residents are not happy with it these days, even though it is once a year, it causes a lot of ‘Garra’ (Nonsense)……

A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her.
"You've led a long and good life" the genie said, "I have come to reward you by granting you three wishes. Ask for anything you want and I will make it happen."

The old lady was surprised but cynical. Not really believing that anything would happen she decided to play along for a minute. "Ok" she said, "turn all those dirty dishes into money." With that there was a big Poof! and the dishes had turned into a big pile of cash.
"My" said the old lady, staggered that it had actually worked,
"Perhaps you could make me look young and beautiful again?"
There was another big poof and the woman now looked lots younger and was very good looking. Excitedly she carried on,
"Can you turn my dear old cat into a handsome young man?"
Once more there was a big Poof, and the cat was replaced by a handsome young man. Smiling devilishly she turned to the young man and said
"At last! Now I want to make love with you for the rest of the day and all night too!"
The young man just looked at her for moment then replied in a high pitched voice,
"Well you should have thought about that before you took me to the vet's to be “fixed” shouldn't you!"

The Dis-Chem Golf Day of the Sydenham Shul takes place at Killarney on Wednesday 26 November….The Sydenham Golf Day has become a model for many others in town. It’s always a fun day with ‘lekker’ prizes, a fantastic raffle and Rabbi Goldman dispenses Black Label in person. Some say L’chaim to celebrate their good game, others to drown their sorrows but everyone has a great time. Michael Stein is Chairman of a small but highly efficient Committee and the inimitable Ingrid Seeff makes sure everything runs smoothly and to perfection.
For a four-ball and/or hole sponsorship, call 011-640- 5021. Almost full, so hurry.
OK, Kilarney Country Club is the ‘old’ TAC , soooo now U know…….?????
The Highlands North Boys High Golf Day is 2nd December, also at the KCC..
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

Hymie & Sarah are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary with a party for their family and friends. During the party, Max and Betty walk over to them and say, "Mazel tov.
We're so pleased for you both. But you must let us in on your secret - how have you managed to stay married for so long, especially in this day and age?"

Abe turns to Sarah and asks, "OK for me to reply to this?"
Sarah replies, "Yes dear."
"Well," continues Abe, "our secret is quite simple. On the very day we got married, Sarah and I came to an agreement which we've stuck to all these years. We decided that I would make all the major decisions and Sarah would make all the minor decisions.
And thank God, in over the 60 years of our marriage, I have never needed to make a major decision." (Oey vy………………………..)

The Stan & Pete “ Smooklersbord “ at the KCC was E-mazing, with many new dishes ….it was very well received and the hall was ‘Chockers’…….next one in May / June….. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

The SARS ‘Manne’ have given a bit of relief and have extended the TAX return date to 5th. December, soooooo don’t be a Shmo and leave it, as they will not give any more extensions……..Contact Tax Relax for peace of mind…..
This Financial roundup brought to you by TAXRELAX www.taxrelax.co.za... Just click on their website on the letter and see all the services they offer………

Change is inevitable…….. except from a vending machine.

Tonight is the SASFIN BANK end of year bash…..and the slogan they used was very good, especially in these tough banking times (SASFIN has some GELD to lend to the right Projects)…..
“ The one night where you can Exchange Stocks & Bonds, for Laughs & Jokes “
We are Banking on you being there……………..

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Grayer Dank to Hylton Goldstein ( http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm )
for sending me a range of Batmitzvah pictures from a few of the Shuls over the Bat Mitzvah period……including the Great Park, Greenside, Sydenham and Linksfield Shuls; Pictures http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to Gila (Rosenberg ) & Adam (Noach) who got engaged at the KCC this week…..Gila & Adam work at Discovery and a Big Mazeltov to them on their engagement…….Gila’s Aunt & Uncle Milton & Ilsa Levine (Melbourne) flew in for the Simcha, and it was good to see them, as I grew up with Milton, when he stayed opposite my Cousin & S & P partner Sarge Weitzman…….in those days Milton was a ‘deadly’ left handed Tennis player, and his Zunnelle of 12 is following in his footsteps and will be at the Maccabi Games in June……
Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to two ex JHB families Pam and Milton Etkind and Rose and Brian Farber are happy to announce the engagement of their children Jonti and Jodi. This is a double simcha for grandfather Dr Michael Kusner whose other grand daughter Mandi Nurick daughter of Pat and Ivan Nurick is marrying Gary Diamond son of Phillip and Janice Diamond (Baltimore ex PE) on the 30th November in Sydney….Mazeltov to the whole family……..I know both families well, and Rosalies Schvester Phillippa is the wife of Rael Awerbach, my BIG chaver in Sydney…….

Mazeltov to Morris and Ettie Silber celebrated the marriage of their grandson in Canada last week. Morris and Ettie were joined by their daughter, son and son in law, Beverley, Roy Lomnitz and Craig from Johannesburg and by their son and grandson Alan and Yishai Silber from Israel. Morris and Ettie’s youngest son, Colin, married Janice Liebenthal originally from Benoni, and their son Rikki married Marcey in Canada. It was the first time in over 30 years that Morris and Ettie, together with their 3 children slept under one roof. The wedding was fantastic and it was like a mini reunion for the Silber family.I did the Chossen’s Parents Colin & Janices’s wedding ‘Amolikke Yoren’and was at Orange Grove primary with Colin’s sister Beverley….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Sincere condolences to the Shub family on the passing of Ivan Sydney Shub, effectionately known as "Shubby" in Sydney….. ex Greenside / Emmerentia family who I ‘Tukka’ go back many years with….Sincere condolences to the whole family………

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

This time of the year, crime is really on the up, and as mentioned a few weeks ago, it gets more and more intense as we move towards Xmas……

Shopping Malls seem to be the target this year, although all crimes are still committed.

When visiting a Mall, try staying clear of ANY armed Security personal moving money In & Out of the Mall……

Be aware of suspicious looking people, and do not go and try and see what has happened after an incident.

Move away, rather than nearer, and that applies to road accidents also…….

Always have your emergency numbers punched into your Cell (Mobile phone) .

Try & get emergency numbers together right at the beginning of the address book…….

Be Street WiZe…………..

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website :

http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a good , restful peaceful Shabbos,

If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times which refreshes the website……

The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel.

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell 082-4547860

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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Parsha of The Week

Yiddishe Nachas
Rabbi Yossy Goldman’
Sydenham Shul,
C\O ‘Beloved Country’

Once upon a time, a pious Jew was traveling through the countryside in Eastern Europe. He came to a shtetl where the local schochet (ritual slaughterer) had just taken ill. The town butcher had no one to do the slaughtering and was desperate when he bumped into the visitor. The traveler looked pious and G-d fearing (perhaps he wore a black hat and a beard) so the butcher asked him if he was, by any chance, a qualified schochet. The visitor replied that he was indeed. Overjoyed, the butcher started arranging for the man to begin work in the slaughterhouse immediately. Then the visitor asked the butcher if he would kindly lend him some money as he had just arrived and needed to purchase a few things. "But you're a complete stranger," said the butcher. "I don't know you at all, how can I possibly lend you money?" Whereupon the visitor replied, "You were prepared to trust me with the spiritual well-being of your entire community even though you never laid eyes on me, but as soon as I asked you for a few rubles suddenly you hardly know me?"
This week's Parshah tells the story of the very first shidduch in history. Abraham sends his faithful servant, Eliezer, to find a bride for his son Isaac. He hands Eliezer a document ceding his entire wealth to Isaac and makes him take a solemn oath that he will not bring back a Canaanite woman for his son but someone from Abraham's own family, from Mesopotamia.
Amazing Abraham! He writes over his entire fortune in a document to help Eliezer find the right shidduch. Is there even a mention that Abraham demanded some security from Eliezer for the wealth that he was entrusted with? There is not a word about Abraham insisting on any guarantees, promises, or even a handshake. On what did Abraham ask Eliezer to take an oath? Not on the money, but on the woman! When it came to the nature of the prospective bride, the character of the person his son would be marrying, Abraham demanded nothing less than a solemn oath.
What an incredible lesson for our own priority system in life. What is of most important to us? What do we truly value? When it comes to our money, everything must be under lock and key, safe and sound, with ironclad securities. Are we as careful with our children? Are we as particular about whom they go out with, where they go and what they get up to?
There was a time when Jewish parents actually took responsibility for their children's social well being and even their matchmaking. Ok, times have changed and children don't appreciate parental interference in their romantic endeavors. Even Tevye the Milkman had daughters who insisted on marrying for love. But even if we can't "arrange" things, we can still try to "engineer" an introduction behind the scenes. Or, at the very least, we could take an interest.
Today's young people might be horrified at the thought of a shadchan assisting them to find a marriage partner. Still, surely parents should be talking about marriage to their children when they come of age. Surely, the importance of getting married ought to be conveyed to our kids before they turn 35! And wouldn't it be a good idea for parents to sit down with their kids at some stage to discuss what to look for in a marriage partner?
Abraham was worried about the wrong woman having a bad influence on his son. How much more should we be concerned about our children who are rather less pious than Isaac was. And children might want to take their parents' advice a little more seriously. After all, the experience of history indicates that parents often do see things that children--blinded by "love"--do not.
The "singles" phenomenon is arguably the single biggest social problem in the Jewish world today. People are marrying older or not marrying at all. Often, the biological clock runs out before a family can get off the ground. Too often, desperate people make choices born out of desperation only to regret it in time.
Abraham teaches us that it is our responsibility as parents to ensure that our children mix in the right circles and are not exposed to the wrong influences. Please G-d, all our children will find suitable marriage partners sooner than later and raise strong Jewish families that we will all be proud of.

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