Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
23 October 2008

Dear All,

It is quite E-mazing how we got our first Summer rains in the middle of Succoth, and besides the hail storms have had some useful rain, and it has cooled the place down a bit………It was getting soooo hot, you could have ‘Platzed’ (passed out). The weather bureau reckons our next lot of rains could be at the end of November, BUT…. I reckon it could still rain till then, with those 4.00 thunder/ lightening shows a thing of the past few days and of course a trademark of the Highveld…………………it is still raining in the evenings and the temps have come down a bit….in true Succoth Tradition, the rains did come……..The ‘Yidlach’ did it again……

No local sport this past week, BUT……the Indian / Aussies test was good with India really mastering the batting & bowling…….Boy, the Aussies ‘Tukka’ miss Mc Grawth , Mc Gill and ‘Tabby Cat’ ( Shane Warne ), BUT….I reckon they will still beat us…….although Mickey (Mouse) Arthur reckons the Manne are in good shape…..The next Test should be ‘Electric’……………..

An old fellow was celebrating 92 years on this Earth. He spoke to his toes.
'Hello, toes!' he said. 'How are you, toes? You know, you are 92 today.
Oh, the times we've had!
Remember we walked in the park in summer every Sunday afternoon.
The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!'
'Hello, knees,' he continued. 'How are you, knees? You know you're 92 today.
Oh, the times we've had!
Remember when we marched in the parade?
Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday knees!'
Then, he looked down at his crotch. 'Hello Willie!
You little bugger, if you were alive today, you'd be 92…. Oey vy…….

Watched a few Heinken matches (European) , and they were quite good……..Oey vy. There are sooooo many GR8 overseas players, it makes me sad…….from all the major Rugger playing countries….Guys like Cantaponi, Elsom, Tialata,O’Driscoll etc, and of course the 6 Nations starts in a few weeks time……With the Currie Cup final this coming weekend, the GELD seems to be on the Sharks to win…..I believe that in Winter, the Bulls would have run away with it, BUT….it is going to be VERY ‘ Shvitzadik’ and I am not sure that the Bulle can last the 80 minutes, BUT…..if they wear the Sharks down in the first 25 minutes they have a chance…..The Bulls have some VERY talented players, and Olivia Newton (Olivier) could be a TRUMP card in the centre showing some GR8 form lately….Got a last minute weather update from the Bureau and they reckon it could end up BULLS weather, sooooo we are in with a Chance…….

Frik Du Preez, Moff Myburg and a few others said in an interview yesterday that they doesn't understand what all the fuss was about.
He said that they and most other Souff Effrikkens also felt like vomiting when they saw Luke in the Springbok jersey. Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…….

Out Bafana Bafana ‘boytjies’ have won a few fiendlies and already they are talking about the ‘GR8 revival’….long way to go…….The Luke (Puke) Watson saga continues, and if the SARB had ANY ‘Baetzim’ he would not play again after some of his further comments, that he did not want to wear the ‘Bok’ jersey, and now they are even involving poor ‘Doc’ Craven (Avasholem) in the argument, as he was quoted MANY years ago as saying the ‘BOK’ is for ‘Vicers’ and the Leopard was for Schvartzers, etc, BUT…..that was in times when nothing really made sense…….in the ‘Struggle years’ who ever thought anyone but ‘Vicers’ would play for the Bokke, BUT…..things change…….it is an ugly battle with no winners, and ‘BOK’ Rugger the main losers……

Getting a hairdryer through customs...

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'
'Of course , child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'and what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, ‘Go ahead, Father. Next!'

Regarding the query ‘Have a long life’ which is said when wishing family condolences…is it ONLY in Souff Effrikka…??? Anyone know……????
Brad ‘Googled’ the saying and sent an interesting answer…….
Rabbi David Cahn-Lipman in The Book of Jewish Knowledge, explains the custom this way: "In Genesis (6:3) God declares that humans will live only 120 years. According to the Torah, Moses dies at the age of 120. Because long life was viewed as a reward for righteous behavior, living to 120 became an idealized goal. It therefore became a European custom to greet someone on his or her birthday by saying in Yiddish: 'Bis hundert und tzvantzig – until 120!' Not only are we wishing them long life; we are hoping that they will be, in some way at least, like Moses."
Is Long Life Always a Blessing?
Question of the Week:
Why is the Jewish custom to wish "Long life" to mourners? After losing someone dear to you, why would you want to live a long life without them? Can the blessing for long life not sometimes be a curse?
Answer:
In the original Hebrew, the blessing is, "May you have long days." Some of us are blessed with long lives, some not. But we can all have long days.
A long day is a day full of meaning, a day spent doing good, spreading happiness and fulfilling a purpose. A day of giving and loving, learning and teaching, building spirits and lifting souls - that is a long day.

Some achieve in a short lifetime what others never get around to doing. The difference is not how you spend your life but how you spend your day. We don't choose how many days we live, but we can choose how we live our days. The length of our days is not measured in hours on the clock but in beats of the heart, not in minutes but in mitzvahs.
When we suffer the loss of a loved one we become more sharply aware of how precious just one day can be. A wasted day is an eternity lost. And a day well spent can have an eternal impact.

Yes, there's always tomorrow, but there's only one today. And we have many lifetimes, but this one we only live once. Don't wait for tomorrow. Time is short, make today a long day.
Of course whenever I ask a question, I get asked where does the word ‘Gatiss’ come from, and last time I got over 100 replies with 95 saying…’cuase his barin is where his ‘Gat is’…anyone shed any light besides the ‘POPULAR’ answer..???

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Neighbors feared him.
They believed he practiced black magic, because of
the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow……………………..
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......'

Got an E-mail from Cecil in Durban and he says that the Services over the Yomtavvim were well attended and they had use of their new Air Conditioner which was donated by the Moshal family and it was a ‘Michel’………sent areply on the Yislaaaaaaaaaaik word….. ‘Jislaaaaaaik is a derivative of Jesus (pronounced yes says) in Afrikaans. It is a form of slang and is used to express "E-mazement". With a “Y” definitely E-mazement , WOW ‘ got many replies and 99% said it was a GR8 word to show E-mazement…A non –Jew on the letter replied ‘No Afrikaners read the letter anyway……! ! !! ! !

'Viagra' is now available in powder form for your tea.
It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

Rabbi & Mrs Siggy & Rochel Suchard had a welcome home party in the Sukkah on Sunday for their youngest Daughter Shira who married Yisroel Kaufman a few weeks ago in Israel….it was good to see a few ot the Suchard ‘Kinderlach there, and it was a ‘lekker’ relaxed party, enjoyed by all….Pictures ;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Victory Park ‘Cap’ is having a family fun day and picnic at the Delta Park Victory Park on Sunday 26th October 2008 from 11h00-15h00. They actually have had GR8 turnouts in all area’s that they have had the fun days, and my SASFIN PA, Steve Romberg went to the one in his area (Birdhaven) and raved……..if you are in the area get there….it is a JOL, and what a ‘Mitzvah’ to enjoy a Public Park with soooooo much protection……CAP is the newest initiative to fight crime, and has the backing & support of the Chief Rabbi’s office………For details see;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

So I went for an interview for the NZ Police.
The Senior Sergeant said: “Your qualifications and experience are good, but there is a practical test you must pass before you can join.”

Sliding a pistol across the desk, he said, “Take this gun; go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, and a possum.”
“Why the possum?” I asked.

“GREAT attitude,” said the Senior Sergeant, “when can you start?”

Went to the Hoshana Rabba breakfast after davening on Monday, and they had the ‘Traditional’ Kaplan ‘Gerichten’ and it is E-mazing how ‘lekker’ the Soup and Kreplach were at 7.30 in the morning…..it has been a Kaplan tradition at West Street, ( and before West Street) for many years…….see pictures at;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php I think the Kaplan Broers can franchise the concept……….

Such a ‘Lekker’ ‘Youtube’ to end all the ‘Yomtayvim’ with……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTtC15m_vL4

The ‘Yiddisher’ y-idols singing contest has been very successful so far and the talent is tops . The semifinals held in JHB on Sunday 31st August was E-mazing
5 finalists were chosen from JHB and 2 from CT. Tickets are selling fast for the finals to be held on Wednesday 3 December in JHB, soooooooooooo contact
Nadine Lazarus on nade@mweb.co.za for details…….The 5 Joburgers who are in the finals are; Dan de Combes, Natasha Millar, Ryan Isaksov, Ryan Peimer, Dana Samowitz & the Kaapies are ; Alicia Pam and Alix Reingold……Hosted by Lisa Melman, Band Zenith. (Peter Berman) & 3 top Judges Danny K, Bryan Schimmel, and international Jazz singer Zola Shuman …Gonna be a ‘Gas’

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Mitch Berenson, OUR ex Stan & Pete waiter will be here on a lecture tour from the USofA from the 21st. – 29th. November and will be offering a free seminar on the Green Card Lottery, soooo ‘Gib A Kuk’ at his details and contact them for an appointment…… http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

Farrel Savitz is an ex-South African and experienced Australian Registered Migration Consultant and Justice of the Peace. Farrel will be visiting Johannesburg & Cape Town from Monday 17 November to Friday 20 November 2008 and will be available to have a private one-on-one meeting with anyone seeking Australian migration advice. Further details @ http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

The last Stan & Pete “ SMOOKLERSBORD” of 2008 takes place at the Kilarney Country Club on the 13th. November…for details see; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php ..don’t miss it........

An ‘old ‘Highlands Chaver of mine, Alan Wolf has his cousin’s flat for rent in Vaucluse, Sydney…..Over Christmas/ Chanukah for 2 weeks…..
Newly renovated two bedroom apartment available in Vaucluse (Sydney) from 25 Dec to 8 January. Close to buses as well as beautiful cliff walk and beaches. Perfect for a couple with no kids.Contact Alan for details alan@baytravelgroup.com.au Alan’s Dad Lou, who also lives in Aussie was the Wolf from Eliasov / Wolf one of the best Accountants firm for ‘Yiddisher’ clerks in its day….soooo many budding clerks Qualified there and are spread all over the World……..

Forrest Gump’s look at the Financial world of the USofA………
Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates.
Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with fecal matter. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors.

Eventually somebody bites into a fecal matter and discovers the crime.
Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.
Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of fecal matter-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for fecal matter returns to normal.

Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates, are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.
Mama always said: "Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest".

Oey vy, how right his Mamma was…..The markets are really ‘Shreiklach’ and I reckon the uncertainty for the immediate future is causing huge Tzorres, with Homes being very difficult to sell, and of course unemployment starting to grow….The ‘Mighty Rand’ is also cause for concern, as the petrol price has come down, BUT the Rand-$$$ exchange is Shlegg @ R10 /11 -$$$$$........not the best of times to do a LSD (Look, Shlepp & Deposit) trip…………………

The tide has turned !!
Apparently the Nigerian government has warned its citizens that if they get any e-mails from Irish/UK/US banks, promising government-backed deposit security and seeking bank account details, it's a scam and not to reply... ‘Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaik’ (WOW)………………….

The political situation changes daily in the ‘Beloved Country’ with some Political commentators believing that the ‘So called’ break away Party of ex Mbeki ‘Boytjies’ could really give the Zuma camp a Shtogg……Methinks not, BUT…..it is going to cause a lot of uncertainty, and the ‘Mighty Rand’ could get a hammering……I think they will get support, BUT……..they will not do toooo much damage to the Zuma Camp………On a Seriaaaaaaaaas note, the ‘Sokka’ 2010 is around the corner and they will have to get some unity, to pull it off……

Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the childrenbathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.
Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!
It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said,
'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.
The night went very well.

The next day, she told her office friends all about it.
'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, foldedall the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening. '
'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
'Oh, that ..., Ralph was too tired..' ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…………….)

Macsteel, the ‘Grayser’ Yiddisher Steel company in Germiston & around the World, started a Sukkah tradition in the area 11 years ago, and drew Yiddisher businessman from the area, and Rabbi Grossnass ‘Shlepped’ out to do the Shuir weekly..…..this year they had the Sukkah get together for the Businessman from their area plus clients at the Sydenham Shul, and the resident Caterer Lucille Lewis put out a GR8 buffet for lunch……Succos was again ‘HUGE’ in Joburg, with Sukkah’s all over the ‘yiddisher’ area’s , on balconies, tops of buildings, etc…..’OUR’ Sukkah in Sandton was GR8 ………many Simchat Torah dinners at the various Shuls……..see Macsteel pictures at ;

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Mazeltov to Robyn ( Miller) & Igal Levy on the birth of their Prince last week….Mazeltov to the Grandparents Marilyn & Ray Kauber and Fortuna & Albert levy in Yerushalayim…….to GR8 Grandparents Michael & Adie Gordon…..Robyn used to be the Kashrut secretary at the Beth Din and her Zaida Mike Gordon was a ‘Macher’ at the Beaconsfield Club, before it closed….Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha…….

Mazeltov to Bev (Fehler) and Shane Lyons on the birth of their Prince this week……They are Chavers of my Zunnelle Joel, and Shane also does Video Duplication, and worked with Joel when he was here……Mazeltov to Allan & Leah Fehler and Jill Lyons….also a special Mazeltov to Shane’s Aunty in Melbourne, Cynthia Batten, a stauncher Zionist does not exist….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…………….

Mazeltov to Michelle (Gien) & Perry Diamond on their son Oren’s Opsherinis in San Diego……. Mazeltov to Deborah & Mannie Gien and Claudia & the Late Ian Diamond…..Mannie of course owns the ‘Springbok’ pharmacy in Alberton, and hopefully this Schmuck from the Ministry Kompela will not make Mannie pay for using the emblem, as he says it belongs to him…What a Shmo……WOW, I have done soooooooo many ‘Simcha’s’ for both families and of course Warren Goldblatt (Man from Ogies) is Deborah & Mannies Son in Law……Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..

Sincere condolences to the Kwinda family on the sudden Tragic passing of Colbert…..Colbert has been part of Stan & Pete for the past 20 years and more, and was affectionately known as “ Mr Goldberg” , and I reckon that more ‘Yidlach’ knew Colbert than any other Simcha worker I know….He was a ‘Man for All’ seasons, and one day you would love him and the next wanted to ‘Slag’ him…..BUT what a Human he was….he could organize just about anything and I remember many years back helping him organize his first set of Shonatevah’s for his ‘Yiddisher’ clientele ….nobody can imagine how many Simcha’s he worked at, and he was BOOKED virtually every Friday night for Shabbos dinners…….he worked at Anglo Vaal for over 30 years, and was personal driver to Mr Menell & Hersov……he still drove Rick Menell’s cars down to cape Town for the December holidays, and also many ‘Yidlach’ used him to drive their cars to holiday destinations……………
He always told me that one of the Highlights of his life was the Tour he did of Israel, which Ronnie Kaplan sent him on, and my ‘Zunnelle’ Martin was on Ulpan, and he took Biltong for him, even though I said he would never find Martin, he did and told the Guards that he was Martin’s Zaida from Souff Effrikka. (True story)….He will be sorely missed by Stan Smookler, Norman (Sarge) Weitzman and Dennis Cohen and the current Stan & Pete ‘Balaboses’ Jeff Shull & Ido Sirton, and the whole Staff…. His 5 sons all worked at Stan & Pete over the years, and our deepest sympathy goes out to all of them and his whole family……..’ A Man for All Season’s’ and will be remembered as that…..Colbert will be buried at his home in Durban on Sunday………..RIP.
A memorial service is planned for Joburg, at the Kilarney Country Club,9th November at 2.30… Stan & Pete 011-728-7668. Chief Rabbi in attendance………………

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

Various warnings on various ‘Gunavis’ setup’s…….

If you get in your car and see a sticker on the back or front window…do not get out again as they may be waiting to attack you……

When coming home, and your gates do not open with the control, try and see if they have tied the gates with tie backs…….Do not get out, unless you can see it is safe

When getting in your Car , you see dirty blotches, drive away and do not put on wipers , as this just spreads the ‘Goooo’ and when you get out, guess who is waiting for you……..????

When drawing money from an ATM, and you see any tampering, do not use it…try not to use machines in isolated area’s…………

When putting in Petrol, do not leave car by it self with keys in…..

Be Street WiZe

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website :

http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a good , restful peaceful Shabbos,

If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times which refreshes the website……

The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel.

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell 082-4547860

Is your business in need of an innovative and professional website ?
Please contact 082 898 6780 (Warren)

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….
CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Due to all the ‘Yomtavim’ things have been heavy sooooo I am putting this ‘Oulikke’ (Shweeet) story about an Ohrsom Shabbaton….it has been around for quite awhile, BUT….is ‘Tukka’ funny, for those who remember the G-D fearing ‘Afrikaners’ of yesteryear……..

An eruv is an eruv is an eruv................
OHR SOMAYACH'S ANNUAL SHABBATON THIS YEAR WAS HELD AT A RESORT JUST OUTSIDEJOHANNESBURG.
HERE IS A LETTER FROM THE MANAGERESS OF THE RESORT TO HER FRIEND ANNA.

LIEWE ANNA
HOWZITT? EK MOET VIR JOU SE LAST MONTH IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT. WE HAD STAYING HERE A LOT OF RELIGIOUS JEWISH PEOPLE, AND I TELL YOU THE WHOLE BUSINESS JUST TAKES THE BISCUIT [SOOS DIE ENGELSE SE].

THEY ALL CAME ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS ONE OF THEIR PRIESTS, THEY CALL THEIR PRIESTS REB EYE, IN FACT ALL THE MEN CALL EACH OTHER REB, JY WEET, SOOS REB KOOS AND REB PIET AND SO ON.., SO THIS REB EYE CALLED REB EYE SHANE [ I THINK THEY CALLED HIM AFTER THIS OKIE FROM THE COWBOY MOVIE] COMES TO ME AND SAYS THAT TOMORROW IS THEIR SABBATH BUT THEY CAN'T CARRY. I SCHEME THEY ALL HAVE HERNIAS AND THAT IS WHAT IS THE PROBLEM.SO HE SAYS TO ME THEY NEED A WALL AROUND THE WHOLE CAMP AND THEY NEED SOME STAFF TO HELP THEM.WELL, EK SE VIR JOU, I THINK REB EYE HAS BLOWN A FUSE. I CAN'T SEE THE BRICKS, I CAN'T SEE THE CEMENT, BUT THIS REB EYE SHANE, HE CALLS TWO OTHER REBS, REB IAN AND REB LAWRENCE AND WE SET OFF.

NOW THE TOP PART OF THE CAMP HE SAYS IS O.K. BECAUSE THE WALLS OF THE BUILDING ARE ALREADY THERE, BUT THEN WE COME TO THE RIVER BANK AND HE CHECKS OUT THE TREES. THEN HE SAYS JA WELL NOU FINE BETWEEN THIS TREE AND THAT TREE WE NEED A WALL, AND HE IS GOING TO TIE FROM TREE TO TREE A PIECE OF STRING TO MAKE HIS WALL. WELL I LOOK AND LOOK AND I CAN'T SEE ANY WALL, BUT HE SAYS IT'S FINE.

I THINK THAT IS WHY THEY CALL HIM REB EYE--THEY CAN SEE THINGS US ORDINARY MENSE CAN'T., SO WE CARRY ON. THEN WE COME TO A TREE THAT IS NO GOOD BECAUSE THE EMBANKMENT IS TOO LOW. SO HE SENDS ONE OF THE OTHER REBS AND HE FINDS A LONG NARROW PIECE OF BOARD, AND HE TIES IT TO THE TREE, AND HE SAYS IT IS O.K. THEN WE COME TO ANOTHER PLACE WHICH IS NO GOOD, AND I TELL YOU THE TRUTH,EK SE, HE GETS TWO PIECES OF BAMBOO, AND HE NAILS THEM UP, ONE GOING UP AND ONE GOING ACROSS AND HE IS HAPPY.

THEN THE MAIN REB EYE ARRIVES TO INSPECT THE WALL. HIS NAME IS REB EYE OTHER BACH. YOU REMEMBER WE LEARNED ABOUT THIS COMPOSER BACH AT SCHOOL, WELL THIS IS THE OTHER BACH. ANYWAY HE SAYS THIS BAMBOO WALL IS NO GOOD, SO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES-- HE SENDS FOR TWO EMPTY DUSTBINS AND HE PUTS THEM THERE AND SAYS THAT'S IT.THE WALL IS FINE AND I MUST PLEASE TELL THE STAFF NOT TO MOVE THE BINS. SO I CALL THE STAFF AND I TELL THEM AND THEY LOOK AT ME LIKE I AM NOT RUNNING ON FOUR WHEELS. I FELT SO STUPID, EK SE VIR JOU, AND STRAIGHT AWAY I GETS A TENSION HEADACHE FROM ALL THIS BUILDING OFA WALL I CAN'T SEE.

WHEN I WAKE UP ON SATURDAY I SEE NOW ALL THE REBS IS CARRYING, SO I THINK WHAT REB SHANE DID WAS TO CURE THEIR HERNIAS. HY IS BAIE SLIM DAARDIE BLOKE. THEY WAS ALL PRAYING IN THE BIG HALL, AND I SAW ALL THE REBS TOOK THE SHEETS OF THE BEDS TO COVER THEMSELVES (Talit)

THEN ON SATURDAY NIGHT THEY PRAYED SOME MORE, THEN ONE REB COMES OUT OF THE HALL, HE CHECKS THE MOON IN THE SKY, HE GOES BACK INSIDE AND THEN THEY ALL COME OUT AND DO SOME PRAYING AND THEN DO SOME EXCERCISE, STANDING UP ONTO THEIR TOES.

LATER A BIG REB EYE FROM AMERICA COMES TO TALK TO THEM. HIS NAME WAS REB EYE WINE, AND I WORKED OUT THAT THIS IS BECAUSE HE MAKES THE WINE THEY DRINK .EK SE VIR JOU HIERDIE MENSE IS BAIE STRANGE. WHEN THEY LEFT I RAN QUICKLY TO HAVE THREE STIFF DOPS AND I FELT MUCH BETTER. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ANNA, WHEN I LOOK OUTSIDE NOW, I CAN ALSO SEE THE WALL THAT REB EYE SHANE BUILT
LOUWTJIE
( This is what I call a ‘Meisa’….50 / 50% whether it is true, BUT………still a GR8 story………)

Parsha of The Week

Sermonette Parshas Breishis (In the beginning……………………..)
Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’

The Psychology of Sin

If we are all descended from Adam and Eve, then it stands to reason that our characteristics - both positive and negative, fine points and foibles - can all somehow be traced back to our earliest ancestors.

If one studies the accounts of the first man’s first sin in the Talmud and Midrash, one is struck by a most remarkable observation. The commandment not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge was given to Adam and Eve only after most of Friday (the sixth day, when they were created) had passed. Furthermore, the prohibition was only until that Shabbos. And it’s not as if there was nothing to eat. I mean, there was a whole Garden of Eden with fruit trees galore. Could they not have started with a perfect pear, or a magnificent mango? Did they absolutely have to eat from the one and only tree that was forbidden to them?

The problem is further compounded when one considers that Adam and Eve were not just a couple of homeless hobos. They were hand made by G-d, formed and fashioned personally by the Creator! Surely such august creatures could have waited a few hours and occupied themselves with the other fruit first. Why did it have to be that fruit?

We all know the answer, don’t we? Forbidden fruit is always sweeter, isn’t it? We play mind games. We imagine that the one forbidden fruit in a paradise island with dozens of other exotic options has simply got to be the most deliciously delectable fruit on the planet. And we just have to get our hands on it - and it has got to be now.

We do the same thing as Adam and Eve. But when it comes to our own choices we rationalize, whereas their sin seems ridiculous, foolish and unforgivable. The truth is that it’s always the same story all over again. It has been since the beginning of time. It is simply the psychology of sin. It doesn’t matter how difficult something is. It might be the easiest commandment, but once we have to do it, it becomes difficult in our minds.

Is it really so hard to be a Jew? Are our traditions so onerous? Is the Torah so demanding and burdensome? Are all those who do keep it such otherworldly saints? Of course not. It’s all in the mind.

Is playing golf on Saturday so much more fun than on Sunday? Why can we walk and jog for miles all week long but to walk a mile to Shul on Shabbos is not even up for discussion? Are shiksas really more beautiful than Jewish girls? If we are honest and objective, we will recognize the truth.

The psychology of sin is that we imagine things to be more difficult than they really are, just as Adam imagined the forbidden fruit to be sweeter than all the others. He had one mitzvah of a few hours duration and he still blew it. No doubt, it would be the same for us even if the entire Judaism were reduced to one easy commandment. We would still complain and find it too hard.

The sooner we realize it’s a mind game, the sooner we will be able to win the game. Good luck.

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