Dear All,

The weather is unbelievable and was GR8888 over Rosh Hashana with I am sure many ‘Yidden’ in the ‘Beloved Country’ thankful, as there is nothing worse than a bit of rain when you are all set up outside and the Rain storm arrives…..

The Schvatzers came true toooo late to make a difference in the Tri-nations, BUT….gave the Aussies a ‘Klap’ which was a bit of a surprise, as the Aussies seemed to be building up for a good showing…..there will be much soul searching in the closed season, as they need many new players coming through to replace the established ‘Manne’ who have retired and moved to the lucrative European markets….. the Currie Cup seems to have livened up, with the Bokke slotting into the teams, and it looks like a Bulls –Sharks final again…????

The stands at Ellis Park Rugby Ground were packed for the Currie Cup Final.
Two old friends spotted each other and waved.
“Hello Piet. How did you manage to get in?”
“I used Harry's season ticket”
“That's lucky. What is Harry doing today?”
“He stayed at home to look for his season ticket”. (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….).

The Champions League Cup has started, with lots of early action and Oey vy’s…….The Bokke lost their opening match to the Sri Lankans, and will really have to ‘Skrik wakker’…….and again today, the Bokke were very subdued and will have to LIFT our game a ‘Biesel’….I suppose a win is a win….??? Funny article about the English Cricket Team that won the Ashes, and it is claimed that it was ‘OUR’ Boys that did the job……
http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1132/Returning_cricket_stars_set_for_heroes_welcome.htm

There was a ‘Yiddisher’ painter named Sammy Cohen who was very interested in making a few Bob where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a little bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local Shul decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of their building for Yomtov.
Sammy put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.
Well, Sammy was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the Shul and knocking Sammy clear off the scaffold to land on the floor, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Sammy was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, G-d,  forgive me; what should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke………….

 "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!" (Oey vy……………….).

 This Yomtov was ‘Tukka’ the ‘Dupla’ for me…for those that now nothing about horse racing like me, you get a Double, Triple and Dupla, and the double for me was the Kinderlach coming home for Yomtov ( the double) and then my ‘Cuzzie’ Sarge (Old Stan & Pete Partner) came from Oekland, (The triple) and of course the E-mazing weather on first day Yomtov made up the Dupla…..this was really a dream Yomtov for me after having had a bit of ‘Surgery’ before , before which thank G-D eneded up VERY well, and I am ‘amper’ back to normal……

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket.'
The man said, 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

The wife replied, 'Your horse phoned.' (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah……………..).

Sandton Shul was a ‘Miechel’ again this year, with the services running soooo well, and the Shul very quite during the services, and the ‘Droshes’ were World Class by the various Rabbi’s…….there was a ‘Skrik’ before Yomtov, with ‘OUR’ usual ‘Old Boy Chazzan’ Avron Alter not being well enough to sing, and the Shul brought out Chazzan Herstik, from Israel to assist , and he only arrived the day before Yomtov, and the ‘Choir boys’ ably LED by Maish Preskow really held the service together, and assisted the Chazzan VERY well…….. I think that Avron is doing Yom Kippur, BUT….only time will tell…….??? Wish you all a ‘Lichten Tonis’ and well over the Fast.

The chazzan came home Kol Nidrei night, and his wife asked him why he seemed to be a bit downcast.
"Schwartz, the Shamus, told me I wasn't very good tonight" he replied.
"Schwartz?" said his wife "Forget about him. He doesn't know anything.
He just repeats what everyone else says (Oey vy….).

Twitter for a ‘Yiddisher Mama’ ..what a ‘Lag’…… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhilbbeUc0g
Another Youtube Rosh Hashana greeting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Murzy0yHFR8

I think many ‘Yidden’ will laugh at this one, especially the Mamma’s……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C5Rnb7J3sU  .. They played this on morning radio, apparently some parents in this school zone threatened to sue the school as they were not doing enough for their kids, so they changed the automated response. (only in Oz…. ) 
Got a Youtube with a Michael Jackson tune, and was about to cut, when I saw a few faces I new, and ‘Wallah’, it was a tape made for the Lurie family Simcha (Nussbaum’s Butchery) by their Cuzzie’s ,the Smiths, and I remember the video from the Simcha we did for them…Quite E-mazing..’Gib A Kuk’……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb6UQoAj2Xk

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel.
So she began interviewing young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."
She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest.
Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive ... and what sort of case was that?"
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money." (Yislaaaaaik..)

 

Got an E-mail from Debbi in Oekland, NZ…” I am looking to sell a banked or current week of RCI that I have - if banked, one can book anywhere in the world, (see www.rci.com) if current, it is the last week of Feb/March 2010 (week 9) at Beacon Isle Hotel, Plettenberg Bay, SA. May suit ex-pats traveling back to SA wanting a nice holiday spot. I am looking at NZ$600 for the week. Anyone interested can contact me on debbi@paradise.net.nz before December 2009. Debbi’s Boet Howie Sundy was at my Hotelschool a few years later, and is in Israel these days…saw him in July…still ‘mal’ about ‘Rugger’…….

Big ‘Shakeach’ to my ‘old’ Lichtenburg Chaver Basil Kletz , who just came back from Monaco, with a Bronze medal in the World “Biathle” Championships……E-mazing how he still manages to keep up with the best, at the age of 60, and of course he is a BOK also. The race comprises of running swimming and then running again….Last year he got a picture taken with the Prince of Monaco, and this year he got it signed by the Prince….…….Mazeltov on a GR88888 achievement……Basil has suggested that we have an ‘old’ Lichtenburgers re union next year..I think it is time…See picture  http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

There are many forms of Judaism:
Cardiac Judaism -- in my heart I am a Jew.
Gastronomic Judaism -- we eat Jewish foods.
Pocketbook Judaism -- I give to Jewish causes.
Drop-off Judaism -- drop the kids off at Sunday Cheder and go out to breakfast.
Two-Times a Year Judaism -- attend service Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Umhlanga Kosher Accommodation , Bed and Breakfast Suites and Kosher Self Catering Chalets….         For more info  www.uka.co.za         
Umhlanga Chabad have worked hard to bring some ‘Kosher’ units to the resort and they are ideal for a peaceful rest……

‘Nou hiers a ding’ …an ‘Old’ Chaver Danni Suskin who left for Atlanta many Moons ago, and is Tukka a specialist Doctor, also has a ‘Mishugus’ for Hot Air Ballooning and for ‘old’ Cars……and he sent me some news about the most E-mazing trip that he and his 1924 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost are about to start in the ‘Beloved Country’ Nogall……. “About 2 months ago, we  shipped the car to South Africa where we will  pick it up in Durban on Friday.  The trip is organized by the Silver Ghost Association - a group of like-minded car nuts  who enjoy these cars. There will be about 30 cars (all 1910 - 1926), shipped from all 
over the world. We will start in Durban, travel through Swaziland, Kwazulu-Natal, Orange Free State (is it still called that?), then down to Port Elizabeth and along the Garden Route to Arneston, the Cape wine lands and finally ending in Cape Town. Along the way, lots of great places to visit, game parks to see and restaurants to enjoy - and a balloon flight too!
Linda (my wife) will be along as navigator for the first week but then has to 
return to the US (tons of kid related duties). At that time, a good 
car friend (Bill Vatter) will fly out to SA and complete the last 3 
weeks (his first visit to SA). I will be writing as we go and uploading as internet availability allows. The blog address is: http://wgtsa.blogspot.com
In his Youth Danni used to carry Video lights for his Chaver Stan Gordon at Simcha’s and he also went to Melbourne last year for Dijon Gordon’s Barmy, and we spent some time together……. An E-mazing man Doc Danni Suskin  is….

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

We must limit politicians to two terms: ….  one in office and one in jail. (Mmmmm..)

“ Oom” Jack Shapiro ( Aka Mr. Selwyn Segal) , is writing a book called the "Streets of Doornfontein”….and Isaac Reznick will be editing, ‘kibitzing’ and publishing the book….Jack called me this week to say thanks to all the ‘Yidden’ from around the World who responded and he is sure that many more have a ‘biesel’ to contribute……especially pictures…….In fact the ‘Zunnelle’ of the Man who built the Alahambra Theatre wrote to Jack……. There are wonderful anecdotes which I am sure will appeal to ex—Pats all over the world who originally came from Doornfontein ( Beit street - Crystals Bakery, Baileys Fisheries, The American Ice Cream Company , Wachemheimers, Goldenbergs, Nussbaum and Fehlers Butcheries , The Alhambra Bioscope, Jewish Government School. etc.) ….. former Doornfontein persons, to send photographs and any other material of interest to be published in the book. Due to costly expenses in printing etc, donations in lieu of ‘beloved Ones’ from Doornfontein ‘Amolikke Yoren’ would be most welcome…..  Please send Pictures , Meisa’s and anything of interest  to Jack's direct email   jack@thechev.org.za