Dear All,

The weather is very good at the moment, BUT…..I fear that we could get rain next week, as the “Grand” (Oey Vey) Rand Show is starting, and traditionally it rains, Rand Show time….real pity that the Rand Show is just a ‘Humongous’ Flea Market these days, BUT….I suppose if you do visit it, this year you will see the Sokka 2010 Stadium, which is right next door………Gone are the days of Milner Park - Rand Show and the Tower of Light…..???

The Super 14 is starting to pick up, with the teams starting to show some kind of form and pattern, and the Lions did very well to lose by such a small margin against the Crusaders, even though they rested their better ‘Shpielers’…..the Stormers are taking the Super 14 by Storm, and they deserved their win against the Cheeeeetahs (Ou Vrystaaaaaaaat)…… As I pointed out last week, the Bulls have to snap OUT of the ‘Laager’ and start playing Rugger….they won by the skin of their teeth, and a breakaway score would have seen them go down…..The Sharks eventually went for the KILL and won their first game of the 2010 Season…well done…. Sure they will do much better going forward…..still looks like The Bulls, Crusaders and Waratahs will be there at the end….not sure the Stormers can weather the Strom ahead……..

Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog ... 
 The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says ………………………
"Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." 
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies,
"That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."  (Ag Neeeeee…)

The Six nations has been won by France, and I reckon that it is a GR8888 competition, although the game seems slower, it is more like the ‘old’ game I know…not as physical as the Super14, and not as much kick and chase…..The Wolrd Rugger Cup is only 18 months away, and Methinks it could end up a 3 Favourite cup, with the Schvartzers favourites on home soil, Souff Effrikka and I reckon France…..The Aussies have not been able to regroup as a GR888 team, since their hey days a few years ago, and the 4 British Isles teams are withering at the moment, the Puma’s are not on fire, soooo at the moment the 3 seem the best bet, BUT….I lot can still happen…..

Manchester United really did well to beat Liverpool, and with Arsenal on their backs, it is an interesting finish, with Chelsea right up there, and Manchester still also have the UEFA cup to think about, soooo it will be a close league finish……..

Mr Goldberg came home from the office unexpectedly and found his wife  in bed with Mr Cohen,
 the next door neighbour.
Distraught and angry, he ran next door and confronted Mrs Cohen.
“Mrs Cohen,” he cried, “your husband is in bed with my wife.”
“Calm down, calm down” Mrs Cohen said. “Look don’t take it so hard, sit down have a cup of tea. Relax” Mr Goldberg sat quietly and drank his tea. It was then he noticed a little glint in Mrs. Cohen’s eye.
Coyly she suggested, “You want a little revenge?” and with that they withdrew to the couch and made love.
Then they had another cup of tea. Then a little more revenge, a little more tea, more revenge, more tea. Finally, Mrs Cohen looked at Mr Goldberg and asked.
“How about  revenge?”
“I’ll tell you Mrs Cohen,” said Mr Goldberg quietly, “to be truthful, I ain’t got no hard feelings left.”

Clifton Castle to rent for Sokka 2010 .. R175,000 a day….Mishuga….
http://www.2oceansvibevillas.com/accommodation/361/clifton/id-781-the-castle

Futuristic Pesach…………….Mmmmmmmmm VERY….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bgeX_8tBCY&feature=player_embedded

Charlie, The Kosher Cocker Spaniel with a Pesach message……
http://www.bangitout.com/videos/viewvideo.php?a=1592

An E-mazing slideshow from the Sony AGM…..some mind boggling facts..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY

Abe and Moshe went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days.
As they slid in to a booth, Moshe wiped some crumbs from the seat.
Then he took a napkin and wiped some mustard from the table.
The waitress, in a dirty uniform, came over and asked if they wanted some menus.
"No thanks," said Moshe, "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."
"I'll have black coffee too," Abe said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."
The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off in to the kitchen.
Two minutes later, she was back.
"Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"

Well done to Shelley (Planer) Fedler who won the Jerusalem Half marathon in her age group….Shelley is originally from Van Der Bijl Park, near the Vaal River…. She is the daughter in Law of Motty Fedler, who is the Boet of cartoonist Dov Fedler…….. Dov’s cartoons can be viewed at ;
Picture of Shelley http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Mazeltov to Grant (Geebs) Berman in Sydney who qualified as an accountant…’Lekker Boet’….Geebs is well known here in Sandton and was part of the ‘Manne’ at Sandton King David…well done……

Abe is in New York on business. On his third night, he goes back to his hotel room feeling quite miserable. Although the trip's going well, business-wise, he's feeling very lonely - he's missing his wife Sarah.
He casually picks up the Gideon bible from his bedside table and opens it.
On the first page, he reads: -
"If you're sick, read Psalm 18."
"If you're troubled, read Psalm 45.
""If you're lonely, read Psalm 92."
That's it! He stops there, immediately turns to Psalm 92 and starts to read.
How surprised he is, then, when he gets to the end of the Psalm, to see someone has written: -
"If you're still lonely, why don't you call Monique
212-755-1234." (Should have had the Frumster.com number)

Got an E-mail from Marilyn & Soloman  Rabinowitz in Sydney, and Marilyn who comes from (Zim-BOB-We) ‘Amolikke Yoren’, is having her first Art Show in Sydney from the 31st. March- 20th April, at the Hornsbery Library  www.marilynrabinowitz.com …..Soloman was the General ‘Mr. Fixit’ in his day….and sadly no one has really replaced him….

Did a Locum at Gavin Newfield’s Barmy at the Simon Kuper Hall, and it was a GR88888 ‘Sokka 2010’ themed Barmy, and the Balloon work was done by his ‘Cuzzie’ Tanya Josselowsky, who runs POP Balloon Art…….I did Gavin’s Dad Michael’s Barmy ‘Amolikke Yoren’, and Sharon his Mom, is very involved in Hatzolah….. Gavin’s Grandparents Isssy & Miriam are ‘old’ clients, and Miriam was part of the Kugel family (Ros, Sheila etc)…….and it was a very ‘Lebbedikke’ Yeshiva College Barmy, and the Kinderlach had a ball…not sure the adults liked the Vuzela’s noise….Mazeltov to the whole family…….PS. Michael & his Father In Law Issy , went to Highlands…… http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Chasing after Moses, the Pharaoh came to the shore of the parted Red 
Sea, cast his eyes toward the heavens and asked God, "Lord, may we 
also cross?" God replied, "Sure, Pharaoh. I don't see why not. The 
U.S. Army Corps of Engineers swears the walls are secure and it won't 
flood."

The Yeshiva College is having their Golf day in May, and still need a few ‘Shpielers’ sooooooooo please contact Evelyn for a Four Ball…….
pr@yeshivacollege.co.za  Cel; 084 9111 855

Jewish holidays are for people with illnesses:

 Purim is for alcoholics.
 Pesach is for OCDs. (Obsessive Compulsive Disease) Shavuos is for insomniacs
Lag B'omer is for pyromaniacs who weren't satisfied with Chanuka.
Tisha B'Av is for maniac depressives Rosh Hashana is for people who obsess over dying.
 Yom Kippur is for anorexics
 Sukkos is for the homeless.
 Simchas Torah is for those in their happier stages of bipolar.
 Mi K'Amcha Yisroel.…..and people still wonder why the Jews invented psychology

Chag Sameach to all ……..I reckon the ‘youtube’ below is E-mazing, in that it does NOT matter if you are ‘Super Frum’ or a total ‘Poyir’…Every Yid can relate to the simple message below, which is ; Remember ‘YOUR’ roots, and you will understand the ‘Misugush’ of the ‘Yiddisher’ people, who are such a wonderful people…..Have a ‘Gutte Pesach’…..
Chag Sameach….to allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll………….! ! ! !!  ! ! !! !
http://www.youtube.com/user/Yisodot#p/u/0/qcv1hMx4n2k
Remember ‘Homelys’ in Fairmount for ALL your disposable ‘Pesach’ utensils……
http://stantgsm.com/list_directory.php

There are four types of children who ask questions on Pesach:
The wise one, the bad one, the simple one, and the one who does not know to ask.
What does the wise one ask? I don't know; I couldn't understand him either.
Him you must send to a school for gifted children.
What does the bad one ask? He says, "What is this holiday to you?" Because he excludes himself from the community, you must exclude him from your table, and he will go back to his employer and get paid double-time and a half for working on Pesach.

What does the simple one ask? He simply asks,
"What is this?" You will say to him, "This is dinner."
As for the one who does not know to ask, you must go to his room, wake him up and say, "Next year, remember to come to the table!"  ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….)

www.anglo-list.com , the premier aliyah and information website for English speakers now features Rabbi Tzvi (Hilton) Wainstein,  Rabbi Wainstein made aliyah from Johannesburg, in 1979 upon completion of his high-school studies at King David High School, Victory Park.  He studied at the Ohrsom Seminary and then at Netzach Tisrael under the "modern Talmudic genius" of  Harav Gustman z"l, a senior Rabbininc leader originally from Vilna.  Under Harav Shternbuch, Rabbi Wainstein received his rabbinical ordination and then a teacher's diploma and B.Ed.  Rabbi Wainstein also participated in the editing of 11 volumes of Artscroll Gemarah.  Rabbi Wainstein prepares advanced students for "Semichah" (Rabbinical ordination), is a senior lecturer and head of recruiting for a post high school program called "Derech". 
A 30 year class reunion was held for the 7 alumni of King David High School, Victory Park '79,  who live in Israel ….Pic. http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

The Jews are camped in front of the Red Sea. They see the Egyptian chariots approaching. Moses turns to his PR man.
Moses - "Nuuuuuuuuu , where are those boats you got us?"
PR Guy - "Boats? You didn't say nothing 'bout no boats."
Moses - "So what do you want I should do? …..
Part the waters and we can all just walk across?"
PR Guy - "If you can swing that, I'll get you your own chapter in the Bible!" (Ot A Zay)

Gill has accommodation in Umhlanga 19 to 26 June sleeps four to six …Sokka 2010… Contact Gill @ gillian.berkowitz@gmail.com  ……getting close…GR8888 location to ‘Chill’ during the Sokka 2010 games……

My all time favourite…A Classicccccc……..
A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man. He runs his fingers over it . Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder and asks, "Who wrote this Drek …??????!!"

Tonight is the Wedding of Ronli (Miller) & Gregg Cohen ….Gregg is the Zunnelle of Dennis & Beverley Cohen and Ronlee is the daughter of Brian & Helene (Lemmer) Miller ….  Dennis is my ‘Old’ Stan & Pete partner , and we have been ‘close’ for 35 years, and some say toooo close…….I was at Gregg’s Bris (Oey vey…I am getting old) and once we start saying that , it means that we have ‘Tukka’ been close over the years…..speaking to each other EVERY day, with that early, early call from Dennis every day….I have known Ronli and her parents for MANY years also, and to the whole ‘Mishpocha’ …Mazeltov……3 weeks ago, I was invited to attend the FIRST Opruf for the wedding at the Kensington Shul, as Brian helps keep the Shul going, for Shabbos/ Yom Tov……and it was GR8888 to be there , in a Shul that once housed soooo many of SA Yiddisher community…this past Shabbos they had another Opruf at the Sandton Shul, and it was part of a Sandton record… 4 Ofruf’s on one Shabbos…and it was a Glorious Shabbos at Shul…and a big Mazeltov to ‘OUR’ Rabbi Siggy & Rochel Suchard, who celebrate the wedding of their first Grandson in Israel this week…..

Sipho goes to work badly bruised and full of blood ......
The lady at reception, who opens the door is very concerned and asks
him what happened .....
Eish madam, the baas she hit me  ........
No Sipho those days are over......  they can’t do that anymore ........ we are going straight to the police .....
At the police station, the officer asks Sipho if he knows the name of the baas that hit him.........
Sipho replies ...... yes sir, she was the ............ PUTCO baas

Sokka 2010 GEES is catching on, and Fridays have been nominated as Sokka Friday, with firms etc, encouraging staff to wear Sokka (Sport) jerseys….and it is starting to hot up…..Amolikke Yoren, when there was a Rugger Test in a City, the whole place used to get involved and it was GR8888…these days there is sooooo much Rugger, one can virtually not wacth all the games every week anymore…….SASFIN had a very ‘Lively’ get together this past Friday, with one of our staff offering to get the Ball rolling, and it did…….not sure where he got his Dress code from, BUT….in a few moments, the Staff were kicking balls all over the place………Had a visit from our ‘Old’ Operations Manager Alan Greenstein who is in Sydney these days…Pictures  http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

After the tenth plague, the slaying of all the Egyptian first born,
Pharaoh told Moses the Jews were free to leave Egypt.
So the Jews packed their carts with their belongings and tried to leave.
 The problem was, with all the dead Egyptians, the funeral homes could not handle the
demand. The end result was streets littered with coffins.
With the streets impassable, the Jews couldn't get there carts out of their
driveways. They complained to Moses. "We can't get out of Egypt unless you
do something about these blocked streets". Moses in turn, called out to
G-d. "Lord, please do something about this coffin problem."
Understand with all the commotion it was hard for G-d to hear what Moses was saying.
He thought Moses said 'Coughin" and responded by turning all the wine into
cough syrup.
 And that is why, to this day, we drink Passover wine that resembles cough syrup.

Went to Marlene & Sonny Coopers 60th Anniversary on Sunday, and it is quite E-mazing to see a couple reaching a Diamond Anniversary, which is not that common…..There daughter and Ingrid and I were born within two days of each other, which meant that there were two ‘Yiddisher’ births in the same week, at Lichtenburg General Hospital…….Sonny was the Apteeker (Chemist) in Lichtenburg for many years, and the 5 Cooper siblings, Ingrid, Beverley , Glenn, Robyn & Clifford all attended Lichtenburg High, sooooo they are REGTER Lichtenburgers……and I have stayed in touch with the family all these years…..and went to Lichtenburg MANY years ago, when Beverley married my ‘Cuzzie’ Des Pantanowitz……….it was GR8888 seeing soooo many Lichtenburgers at the Simcha……..and for all those who always question me about the amount of ‘Yidden’ from Lichtenburg, see pictures of a few of us from the ‘OU’ Wes Transvaal………Mazeltov to the young couple, and it Tukka was a nostalgic, warm afternoon…. http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php ...and  and to think there was also a Lichtenburg wedding in Cape Town (Julian Sher, Zunnelle of Cecil & Kathy), you know realize just how many ‘Yidden’ there were….. its the quality that counts………………Mazeltov to all…