Dear All,

I cannot remember the weather ever being soooo ’kak’ in 30 years……and it looks like it could carry on for awhile…the first 50 ODI Cricket was called off on Friday…….rained solid the whole week, and we have had a few sunny days…BUT the weekend forecast is RAIN………….

The Bokke won against Italy, BUT…..we have a l-o-n-g way to go, if we want to beat Ireland this weekend……Broussow, was outstanding, and Fouire Du Preez was GR888888 and I must say that Kirschner at Fullback was solid, BUT….for the rest, a lot of work is needed….and they should move Smit back to HOOKER………as he is a bit ‘tired’ to be a prop……this weekend’s Ireland game, will not be easy, and of course we are suffering from GROOT injuries…the excuse is there…..the prediction is ‘Shlegg’ weather. My prediction is close, with the Irish piping us……..

The Schvartzers managed to beat England, and seem (??) to be regaining that E-mazing style of theirs, and could just come right for the 2011 World Cup at home, which I am planning to go to……The Aussies reached a new low, loosing to Scotland……Mmmmmmm..the match of the weekend is the Blacks V France…’Gonna be a cracker with the Schvartzers edging in….!!!!!!

Not sure how much Cricket will be played due to the weather, and if the trend continues it will be a dismal Series, and at the moment the weather looks bleak…….The Sunday game in Centurion managed to be completed with the ‘Poms moering us sut’ (winning). What a contolled display from an Average team….but…they showed what I have been saying…NO consistently god bowlers…….Flash in the pan type bowlers at the moment…..

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,……………….
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said -Well, you succeeded.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and ‘fart’.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour

The passing of Mendal Kaplan this week , a ‘Yiddisher’ Icon , not only in the ‘Beloved Country’ , BUT in Israel and the Jewish World community…..Mendal was instrumental in starting soooo many institutions  in Souff Effrikka, that are still running today, and was one of the first persons to really start a Charity drive across the Jewish population to assist Locals and of course Israel….His standing as an Industrialist was HUGE, and his Cape Gate business in a VERY successful and large business……..The Jewish Museum in Cape Town is but one of 100’s of projects that Mendal and his family have started in the ‘Beloved Country’……I believe that it is going to be VERY difficult to find another Mendal Kaplan in the ‘Beloved Country’ and he will be sorely missed….on the World scene he has held soooo many TOP positions in the Jewish Agency etc….

I have fond memories of soooo many Simcha’s and IUA functions that I catered for Mendal & Jill at their home……..Mendal brought out Rabbi Sir Jacobavits for IUA fundraisers, and the time he devoted to those function in Marquees all over his garden Home and pool were remarkable….and Derek De Jong of MPR hiring really worked around the clock, to perfect the Tents for each occasion……and of course the GR8888’Lemon Tree’ discussion that took place every Simcha…and of course Mendal would not cut the Tree down, so we had to always make a plan…..I worked with Derek, and Dennis from Stan & Pete at the Cape Gate 75th. Anniversary a few years ago at the Head office in Veereniging, which is across the road from Boibatong, which had such a wretched time during the Struggle years, and that Marquee ‘Town’ was quite incredible….Mendal will always be remembered as the ‘Tatta’ of Souff Effrikken Jewry over the past 40 years…To Jill and all the ‘Kinderlach’ and Einingklach, sincere condolences on your sad and sudden loss…….  
A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.  "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."  "Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.  So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches  masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his  wife.
"I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"
SASFIN BANK came first in the Financial Services: Banking industry category! We are therefore the best Bank to work for!  And also received the “Deloitte Best Company To Work For Standard of Excellence” award for 2009……Shakeach, it is ‘Lekker’ to work at SASFIN and the new building is Bakgat….we had an end of Year Party in the ‘Old’ building, which went down very well….see pictures ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote,
 “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog:
“There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “That would make no sense at all.” (????)

The 100th Anniversary of Tel Aviv…e-mazing scenes………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAzOeS3qd1M

A song about ‘Uncle’ Bob from Zim-BOB-We………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ig7yRv4kzAA

A Spoof on Bullet Proof vests for 2010, by Wackhead Simpson 94.7 Radio Comedian
http://multimedia.timeslive.co.za/audio/2009/11/german-bullet-proof-vest-prank/

For Young Adults 21 - 39, only last few spaces left for the Friday Night Clubs Dinner with Jeremy Mansfield, this Friday night, 27 November after Shul. Price: R160. Call 011 640 5021 before its too late! …A real good evening……

A patrolman was making his evening rounds in this small town.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car.
 Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
 "Then why don’t you drive it away?"
 "We can’t drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
 "We were told that if we bought a used care here we’d get screwed……we’re just waiting."

 A recently re-built 6 bed roomed, 4 bathroom (2 en-suite) kosher house in the middle of the Glenhazel shtetl is available for hire, as Peter is leaving the area during the World Cup….chance for a good solid accommodation if you are coming across…….Contact peter at ; peterfine@global.co.za

Solly has a week at the Beacon Ilse available……WEEK 51- 19TH TO THE 26 DEC 2009.4 SLEEPER CORNER ROOM 4 TH FLLOOR ROBBERG SIDE (very important…! ! !! ! )…Drop Solly a note…Price is neg, BUT….what a week…..
solly@sovietjeans.co.za  ..The Marathon Man (Johnny Birin) is usually there at that time of the year……

"When I were a lad, me mother would send me down to t'corner shop wi' a shilling, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs.
Yer can't do that now. ……..Too many bloody security cameras."

 

This next bit of Info was sent in by Ron ….and it is an E-mazing milestone, sooooo please send in a few meisa’s of your experience with Morah Aviva…..
 The ‘Mrs Chips’ of Hebrew teaching in Johannesburg is concluding her 50th year of educating Jewish youth. Morah Aviva (Geveret Aviva to the original pupils) started her South African teaching career at the beginning of 1960 at King David Primary Linksfield and continued there until the end of 1993 specialising in the Junior school. During this period she still found the time to teach chader pupils attached to Pine Street and Sydenham Shuls and the Yidisher Folk School and private pupils. She then shifted to Hirsch Lyons Primary School - Norwood. Morah Aviva has made a big impact on the lives of many families by having taught two and possibly three generations of the same family. All of her pupils have been affected by her dedication to her chosen vocation. They have positive memories of being in her classes and regularly greet her when their paths cross even years after graduating from her classes. Past pupils often relate of the impact of her education style and the positive learning experiences that her classes have had on them. Aviva Ozen is celebrating her 80th birthday in January 2010. All past pupils who wish to send her a message and antidotes relating to their personal experiences with her, on this occasion are invited to send an email to mora.aviva@gmail.com . If you are able, it is preferable to acknowledge a person and let them know how they have influenced you. All submissions will be printed and bound into a folder to be presented to her at the party to celebrate the occasion.
A young ‘Boytjie’ is fishing, and sits for hours and catches nothing..
Looking left he sees a fisherman pulling out fish after fish…
E-mazed he asked what bait he is using and the man says he is a surgeon and is using the Tonsils as bait….
Next day, same thing happens, and a different man is next to him and he asks ”What bait are you using”…the Man explains that he is a Surgeon and is using Appendix as bait…..he goes home astounded.

Next day, same story and he goes up to the third man and says….don’t tell me , you are a Doctor..??? And the Man replies ‘No, I am a Rabbi, but mainly a Moyel (specializing in Circumcisions)……Oey vey…………..

Popped into the “ Weil Olympic Bar/ Bat mitzvah” at the Sandton Sun, and it was definitely won of the ‘Big 5 ‘ of 2009……The décor managed by Melanie Myers was E-mazing, and the shows by Debbie Rakusin were a hit……the detail of the whole evening was incredible, and it went on till the ‘weeee’ hours of the morning .Mazeltov to the twins, Dean & Jemma, and of course their parents les & Dori Weil….Les ha sbeen a member at Sandton Shul for many years, and Dori was ‘Dr D’ on 702 for many years…..I reckon the ‘Weil Olympics’ was the chosen theme as soooo many guests came from soooo many places…The Cohens from Israel & Aussie, Hilton Nowitz (Atlanta) Sue & Cliff Gundle (London) Arnie Witkin (London)…Doctor David Sher (London)…etc, etc…….Wonderful Simcha….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……. See pictures at ;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php