Michael Klinger (Oz) , was in Adelaide for  Shavuot Dinner - and is on his way to Souff Effrikka. in September –The  Redbacks are a finalist team in the world 20/20 comp .. Michael is highly rated in OZ, and they reckon he could be in the National Team soon.. not sure if they have had a Yid before…Michael is the Son In Law of my Chavers Arnold & Shirley Kupshik in Melbourne…….Shakeach…..

An ‘old’ Chaver Emmanouel , who has gone back to stay in Greece, sent me his BLOG that he started…..makes for interesting reading……He was on the Crossroads Remedial Trust for a few years with us…..
http://greece-mycountry-mypeople.blogspot.com/

The pastor asked the congregation if anyone wished to express praise for 
answered prayers. Judy Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a 
terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they 
imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to 
hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible
pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it
turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's 
scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." 
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as 
they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced 
in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the 
doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.  A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.  He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum." (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaah…………).

Prof Arthur Rabson, who still sings in Shul choirs in Boston, sent me a ‘Youtube’ of Chazzan Bagley, who was a ‘Master’…Arthur’s Boet Frank was the ‘Balabos’ at Kessel Feinstein (Thornton) ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and his Nephew is Kenny Rabson, who is an ‘E-Fundi’ at Discovery Life …………………
http://greatestcantors.blogspot.com/search/label/David%20Bagly

Ani Yehudi - I am a Jew http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zw7Kico7Oo&NR=1

The ‘SMOOKLERSBORD’ at the NEW Greenside Hall takes place on the 23rd June, and promises to be a GR88888 ‘Gastronimical’ event…..see the details at;
http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php  .. with my ‘Sic’ sense of humour, a few years back, a lady wrote back and said she never really knew how to spell Smorgasbord, and now she new …well Smookler is my surname, so for the past 35 years, I have always called it a ‘Smooklersbord’…… Marlee Levin
011 728 7668 ..don’t forget the ‘Pink Cupcake Affair in Aid of Breast Cancer @ King David Linksfield this Sunday……..See the Kirsty Watts Brain cancer charity ‘Poker’ Affair, which drew a very ‘Balabatishe’ crowd at the Bently showrooms….
http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php

Some E-mazing news from Darkest Effrikka , is that a ‘Yiddisher’ boytjie, Lance Metz summated Mount Everest this week…what an achievement….must be honest that I have not heard of another ‘Yid’ from the ‘Beloved Country’ doing it ..
Lance has summated almost ALL the 8 highest peaks in the World…Lance was at King David VP and was in the same years as my Zunnelle Martin…..and a big ‘Shakeach’ to his parents Vivienne & Michael Metz, who were with him at Base Camp for a few weeks…..his ‘Zaida’ Cyril Linde was with the Jewish Board of Education for MANY years, and is well known by many King David Students, and is a GR8888 ‘Rugger’ fan…My ‘Cuzzie’ & ‘old’ Stan & Pete partner Norman Weitzman used to do the audit ‘Amolikke Yoren’ at his other Zaida, Norman Metz who started the bedding business many years ago in Ophirton, Mazeltov to the whole family on a GR8888 achievement ……

Here's the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports.  Have a booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

It's a win-win for everyone, and there would be no privacy or racial profiling issues. No religious bigotry. No anti-Islamic issues. It would be relatively cost effective compared to the current screening system.  And it would be prejudiced against bad people with explosives.
 It eliminates a long and expensive trial.  Justice will be swift. 
Case closed!  This is so simple it's brilliant.
 I can see it now: You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion, followed by an announcement over the PA system,
"Attention standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number ..."

The Local Cartoonist, Jewish BORN ( Mmmmm) Shapiro, known as Zapiro , is in GROOT KAK, for doing a joke about the Prophet Muhammed…quite E-mazing, when he drew a ‘Deadly’ cartoon on the ‘Goldstone Affair’, no one threatened in the press…..BUT, Methinks he overstepped the mark this time…!  ! !! !  OR did he…why should everyone ‘Tzitter’ (shiver) for the Mumzers…..when it is OK to take the ‘Mickey’ out of everyone else…?????? See http://stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater,
"Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her …
"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"

Quite E-mazing how I seem to meet up with ‘old ’ Plaas boers all the time…Eli (Errol) Symon who hails from Delmas (Yes Delmas, not Ogies, Darvel,Leslie etc)…..and he has been in the Land of Milk & Honey for many years, and is a Lawyer who specialiZes in property, and he has teamed up with my ‘Cahver’ david Shacknofsky, to offer a full service to clients wanting to get involved in Property investments in Israel….and they ‘Tukka’ offer from A-z, and if you have properties that need TLC (Tender loving Care) they offer that also…..drop Eli a line, and he will fill you in… symonadv@netvision.net.il

Women of the World had another WoW event with their Amazing Raffle of Raffles on display in the Seeff Hall from Sunday through Tuesday with lots of visitors over the period. If you didn’t make it, you can still get raffle tickets for your favourite prizes by going to the website www.womenoftheworld.org.za. The Draw takes place on 10 June. Do it now.

Did a ‘Locum’ at Cherrie Swartz’s 70th Birthday, and it was an E-mazing Sunday lunch in the Garden, and the weather was ‘Bakgat’ (Great)…. Michelle Gordon of Finer details, put everything together and it was such a relaxed ‘Party’ ….Happy Birthday to Cherrie, who is also a Star ‘Bridge Shpieler’ ..and many more….
Pictures; http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Hymie was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. 'Give me one last request, dear,'
He said. 'Of course, Hymie,' his wife said softly.
'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Abe.'
'But I thought you hated Abe,' she said.
With his last breath Hymie said, 'I do!'  ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….)

Popped into Michelle (Odes) & Doron Joffe’s wedding, and it was ‘tukka’ a very good vibe, and the Hall looked great, and was decorated by Michelle Gordon of Finer details, and Zenith were the Band, and kept them on their toes the whole evening……Michelle is from Cape Town, and Dorn is originally from Pretoria, and I did his Barmy there 25 years ago….Was it a ‘Schvitzadikke’ December Shabbos…we were Cooking (not on Shabbos) from the heat…….
Pictures ;  http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

The Highlands North High School reunion draws closer, and the Manne are starting to book, BUT….some actually need a ‘Wakker Skrik’ phone call….
See the invitation at  http://stantgsm.com/Highlands.html .. cannot find my school pictures, BUT…found a 1969 ‘Rugger’ picture…….Ja, we looked like the ‘old’ Westren Province with our Blue & White hoops……Dinner on the 30th. June
(34 days away) and there are NO Sokka 2010 games that evening, soooo no ‘Bobbameises’……contact a few of your Chavers and have a ‘lekker’ night out……Did you know that Mandy Yachad (Triple Bok) & Graeme Joffe (94.7) were old boys, and Graeme has booked, and I am sure we will have a ‘Minyan’ for Maariv, soooo Mandy will come……..In the ‘1958 ‘Rugger’ picture, Dave Gordon used to play Hockey with us at Aquilians (Highlands old Boys) with his Late brother Ezra and Solomon, who was Chairman of the governing Body for many years……..

This is a “Classic”, and I have had it before……………….
Two Lenasia cousins, Ravi and Pravesh, are walking down the street one day. 
They happen to come upon a crematorium. 
Ravi promptly asks Pravesh, "Hey cousin, what's this crematorium thing?" 
Pravesh: "Hey no man, how must I know?" 
Ravi: "Well run in there and check it out!" 
Pravesh runs in, a couple minutes later he exits the crematorium severely beaten, covered in his own blood.
Ravi (quite shocked, asks): "And now Pravesh, what happened to you man?"
Pravesh: "No man, I go inside, right!" 
Ravi: "Right?" 
Pravesh: "I see all these sad people standing around, right?" 
Ravi: "Right?"
 Pravesh: "So I ask them, hey what's cooking?  (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…)

Paul Goch, who has worked at many Simcha establishments, is doing coordination and Staff solutions for Simcha’s, sooo when you need those WELL dressed Butlers for your Simcha, Shabbos Dinner etc, Contact ‘Urbanenergie’…
http://stantgsm.com/simcha/coord.html

Barry Lewis is opening the Berrybright Kosher  Bed & Breakfast opposite the Sydenham shul, and it is a GR88888 position, and Central….Still has a few nights over the Sokka 2010 period, soooo give him a ring  011 262-3691..
See http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php for details.............

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’   at;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Happy 81st to the ‘TWINS’ Solly & Abe Krok……. Many, many more for the 28th. May, and the story Solly always tells is that the Twins were born on separate days….Methinks Solly is the Older one……Mazeltov.

Mazeltov to Gavi Horwitz for his Upsherenish in Teaneck, New Jersey …Mazeltov to Steven and Jennifer and to Zaida Gerald Horwitz who went from the ‘Beloved Country’ for the occasion. Thanks to Mark Raphaelly for the ‘Lekker’ pictures…..……Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…See pictures
http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to Dennis Rudnick, who ‘leined’ for his second Barmitzvah at the central Shul in Sydney last week…….Dennis & his wife Edna lived in Cheltondale before they left many years ago…Hazel , Dennis’s Schvester and her husband Mike went over for the occasion…Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..
http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Mazeltov to Michael & Nina (Steinberg) Becker on the birth of their Princess Olivia Jade  last week Mazeltov to Bobba’s and Zaida’s- Neville and Linda Steinberg and Carol and Mannie Becker…..Michael’s ‘Boetie’ Jason works with me at SASFIN …Mazeltov to the whole family…………..

Mazeltov to Lisa (Gork) & Brad Goodman on the birth of their Prince this week in Sydney…….. Lisa is originally from Krugersdorp and we wish her parents Lynn & Bernard Gork much Mazel….Lynn’s Late Mom Esther Goldblatt was a good friend of my Late Mom and was related to my ‘Cuzzies’ the Weitzman’s……..
Mazeltov to the Goodman family and the whole ‘Mishpocha’…

Sincere condolences to the Horvitch family on the sad loss of their beloved Chana (Anne)…….I remember Catering at the Horvitch home in Emmerentia 30 years ago, and her Zunnelle Jeff played in the ‘Simcha’ bands for many years, starting off with Aquarius (Frank Dubowitz, Darryl Menkin, Goldie Goldman ) .. and they WERE the band in the early 80’s and Jeff moved on and started a religious Band with Chaim Davidowitz called The Chosen and he really is a GR8888 musician….his sister Arlene is married to Gary Assness, one of the 3 Assness ‘Broers’ that were at Highlands, and Mervyn was in my years…….
I knew their Late Dad  who was in the Photographic business …. Sincere condolences to the whole family……

Sincere condolences to the Hurwitz family on the loss of their beloved Cyril who passed away in Oz this week…Cyril was the ‘Beloved’ Master at Athlone for MANY years, becoming Vice Head……his Late Son Stanley was a good friend.
Sincere condolences to the family.

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;  http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week; Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time………

From  Stan and the Clan. smookler@netactive.co.za  PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers (Corporate) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!  Cell- 082-4547860 PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate ) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!  Cell  082-4547860 Do you need a professional website? Do you want to convert your website traffic into sales using Google? Contact RAW Media Concepts on: Tel- +27 11 786 1170 or visit our website www.rawmedia.co.za

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book…. CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut   www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…

Check out the new Archive Section on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas

Click here to view