Dear All,

The weather is starting to get better, with less thunder showers, and light rain, and ‘lekker’ Schvitzadikke’ weather otherwiZe…………Hopefully our ‘Manne’ are starting to look after the rain water received, as it could dry up for awhile……

The ‘Rugger’ was GR8……  The ‘Bokke’ played the ‘Poms’, and as……………… I predicted, would win WELL (42-6) ……BUT……..I am not sure how well we played on the 3 game tour including the England game, with our scrumaging really not up to scratch……and our Lineouts…so, so…..Couple of Shpielers played well the whole tour… Ruan was GR8, Jacque Fourie and Juan De Villiers, with the rest having stop / start fits of genius…….well the ‘Boks’ get a well earned break, and then starts a tough programme, with the British Lions on tour in June….they reckon the Tickets could cost a ‘K’ (R1,000) and more…gone ‘Mishuga’…the reason being that they expect up to 50,000 foreigners to come….?????

The All Blacks V Wales (36-6 )was a tough encounter, BUT….U gotta Luv the ‘Schvartzers’…they really do rise to the occasion, and of course Richie Macaw was on top form….Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaaik, the ‘Manne ‘ tried to give ‘OUR’ Yiddisher Ref Jonathan Kaplan a rough time, BUT…’Hy vat nie KAK van Chiwawawawa’s nie………and I reckon that they should beat the Poms next week for another Grand Slam…….surely they can only improve…….The scene after the ‘Hukka’ was E-mazing with Kaplan trying to get the Manne to walk away……

The Aussie – French (18-13) game was very poor with the Aussies winning a very scrappy game …. Not a fearsome ‘Aussie’ side at the moment, and methinks the Boks & All Blacks are way ahead of the rest…………

The Cricket Tests (??) against Bangledesh where VERY one sided, and were a GR8 warm up for the Series against the Aussies…….I still believe that we cannot take the Aussies, even after their hammering by India……look what they did to the Kiwi’s……???

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott , ARIZONA.
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
 After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke,
"If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
 The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says,
 "Nah, you go ahead."
 
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.
He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
 The sight was shocking and he immediately ‘barfs’ (brings up) up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."  (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..)

The World we live in is Mishuga, and the KAK in Mumbai is really disgusting, and of course all the ‘Yiddisher’ kinderlach from around the World are on their way to Thailand, and that is also a mess….Among the Kidnapped in Mumbai is a Rabbi and a few other ‘Yidden’ PLUS many other nationalities, and one hopes this can get sorted, BUT……………..I hope OUR ‘Manne’ are taking note, with all the name calling of the political parties, and the Absoluuuuuuuuut ZERO concern for what this nonsense can turn to if they do not clamp down on the total crime-fraud-gunavis in the ‘beloved Country’……??????
 
As has been mentioned a few times already,
 Hi there all Muizenbergers and friends of Muizenberg, an E-mazing exhibition is being planned for December 2009, entitled MEMORIES  OF  MUIZENBERG? . The researchers are trying to reach as many ‘old’ J(M)uizenbergers, who have a sotry, a ‘Meisa’, pictures, memories of the Juizenburg of yester year…………
Are you aware that an exhibition is being planned for December 2009, entitled MEMORIES  OF  MUIZENBERG?????...... This is a concerted effort to try and reach those of you who have not yet heard of the project. old hotels or the proprietors, perhaps your grandparents or parents.  We are interested too in the shops which were the mainstay of Muizenbergers.   Needless to say, anything related to the Synagogue and your Cheder days, particularly if you have pictures would be wonderful to receive.

 They would appreciate more news and pictures of the Girl Guides and the many Zionist and other groups which were formed there.  We need more pictures of the  Fétes which the Women's Groups took so seriously raising funds for Israel.  We need more programs and details of the active amateur theatre which led to the establishment of the Masque Theater  - what other suburb of Cape Town could boast of such thespian activities!  So many people mention Normans, the Maccabi, the Hamburger Hut and the Pavilion Milky Bar and we are desperate for pictures of these…. The ‘Alte Yiddsiher’ trick is of course to ‘Kvetch’ about what was put out, and of course to POINT out that you ‘KNOW’ the right facts…..Get involved, and ‘Kleib Yiddisher Nachus’ from the exhibition……..Joy Kropman from Klerksdorp is one of the Ladies involved and has sent in a ‘Touch Rugger’ team from +/- 1960, taken by the Miniature Train at the Pavilion….would be GR8 to put some names to the ‘Manne’ in the picture….Picture and details of Exhibition at http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE............

THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, 'SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?'
THE OLD FARMER SAID, 'THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK.  WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES.'
'I'M SORRY SIR,'  SAID THE TICKET AGENT.  'WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER.'
THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS.
THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.
THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM.
 THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.
'MARGE,' WHISPERED MILDRED.
'WHAT?' SAID MARGE.
'I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT.'
'WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?' ASKED MARGE.

'HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT', WHISPERED MILDRED.
'WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT', SAID MARGE.  'GEE------, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL'
'I THOUGHT SO TOO', SAID MILDRED, 'BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!

Last week,WIZO (Glenlinks Branch) ran their Bride & Groom of yesteryear competition and it was their most successful function in years……with 450 guests packing the Hall out to get a glimpse of the winners…..Big ‘Ruach’ at the function, with Judy & Louis Harris winning first prize……..it was of course a GR8 topic they choose …. As ‘Yidden’ have always been nostalgic, and the normal Bride of the Year competition has not much meaning, as most of the contestants are actually unknown, BUT….with the Bride/Grooms of yesteryear, every couple had a History in the community……..I met Louis Harris in 1973 when I started Catering as he worked for Sheila Cartoon at President Wine & Brandy in those days, and Lou always worked out the Party orders for us………One of the runner ups was Hilary & Ernie Saks…..Hilary was at the Minnie Bersohn nursery school (Sandton Shul) and taught my ‘Kinderlach’ and Ernie was the ‘Balabos’ of Rivonia Primary for many years until his retirement. Over the weeks, the Jewish Report published all the Pictures, and of course every one looked to see who they knew….Well done to the Women’s Zionists for a Job well done…..
Pictures ;

What do you tell a homosexual Jewish friend who has the flu--gay avec….
What do you call his partner who doesn’t have the flu- gay gezunt………
What do you call them when you're overtired and they won't go away ….gay a heim
What do you call a ‘Yiddisher’ Gay cemetery…?? Gay in Drerd… (Oey vy).

Please watch this and join in next year on Yom Ha’atzmaut………!This earned the ‘Yiddisher  people a Guiness World Record for  2008!
 Http://IL.youtube.com/watch?v=kQNkU3x7hvA  An early Chanukah ‘Youtube’
I doubt if you have ever heard "Dreidel-Dreidel" ever sung like this before. 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjNXTQfsL9Y

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
 Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they are  everywhere.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

E-mazing NEW Shul & Learning Centre project by the Chabad of Strathavon under the Leadership of rabbi Ari Shishler…..looks like a Grayser project……will definitely get visitors that stay in the ‘Sandton Precinct’ where they are building a Hotel on every corner….Not sure how these Hotels will pay off….??? The ‘Brick By Brick’ project is looking for some Fund builders…’Gib A Kuk’ @
www.brickbybrick.org.za

Jannie en Danie spog met wie se pa se plaas die grootste is.
Danie: "As ons langs die lyndraad wil af ry met my Pa se bakkie, moet ons
al 5 uur opstaan en dan kom ons eers teen sononder by die eerste hoek-paal."
Jannie dink so 'n bietjie, dan antwoord hy: " Ja, ons het ook al so 'n kak bakkie gehad."
( Loosely translated…….2 kids are arguing whose Father has the bigger farm…
1st guy says, they get up at 5.00 am and drive in the Bakkie till sunset, before they reach the end of the farm…the 2nd one replies ..we also had a KAK Bakkie like that…! ! !! ! )
 
A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled.  The dentist takes out a needle to give the man a shot of Novocain...
"No way, no needles, I can't stand needles."
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas but the man again objects.
"No gas, please, the mask on my face is suffocating to me."

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.
"No," said the patient, "I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says "Here's a Viagra tablet."
The patient says "Wow, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain pill."

"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull out your tooth.

 Went to Upington for business last week, and it was ‘Bliksems Warm’ (VERY hot)……like 38 degrees, and after I saw members in Upington, I drove to Springbok, which is 400km’s away……Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, it was hot…what a road, even more deserted than the Karoo….I reckon the Karoo is ‘lekker’ compared to this trip. Besides the 4 towns of Keimoes, Kakamas, Pofadder and , there is nothing in between……..I think the road is used for testing cars performance, as I came across a few signs that said only authorized cars to travel up to 250 km…..???? Grapes have become a Major industry and they have one of the biggest raisin drying facilities in the wolrd…..E-mazing how you pass quite a few LARGE vineyards with grapes and the Kalahari Wines are suppose to be quite good…….saw some real interesting things along the way, and this is the only place I have ever seen such BIG bird nests on the telephone / electrical wires in Souff Effrikka and I have traveled a lot……..There were quite a few ‘Yidden’ in Upington ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and the Late Ruth (Kurland) Cowan from Lichtenburg was from there and our Chaver Maxine Cohen….The Hummel family were well known in the region, and the ‘Broers’ played Rugger for Griqua’s & were very close to becoming BOK Rugger players. There is a street named Hummel after the family……..I went to the library, and they showed me where the old Shul was…..It is a Tire fitment centre now….not sure how people can survive in that heat….some ‘lekker’ pictures of my short trip. Us ,Manne, from Lichtenburg always boast that we are the ‘LICH’ (light) from Lichtenburg, pity about the ,Manne, from Kokstad and Kakamas……..Looking for some GR8 ‘Meisa’s’ on Lichtenburg for the ‘Yiddisher’ book on small dorps…Let me have a few stories……. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.
His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

Got an E-mail from Sydney about the JNF charity Fundraiser last week, that attracted 1,000 ‘Yidden’ to the Randwick Racecourse with Sir Bob Geldof as the guest of honour and keynote speaker. Sir BOB spoke very Effrikka, Israel & ‘Yidden’….was a big success http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php
They reckon the Celebration concerts put on in Aussie by Oshy Tugentaft and the Sydenham choir was E-mazing, and their Davening at the Shul on Shabbos a real treat….