
Dear All,
The weather has at last returned to normal, and I had my first ‘Goef’ of the season this weekend, after months of so called summer….???? BUT….had storms on Tuesday & Wednesday to beat all storms……..
Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, been a ‘HUGE’ Rugger season, which came to and end last weekend…….The Bokke had a good season, BUT…..the end of year Northern Hemisphere tour was a disaster, with glaring problems showing in the team…….in bad weather, the Boks have struggled, and that will have to be remedied quickly, as the next World Cup in 2011 in New Zealand, could be played in ‘Kak’ weather, and we could be out, before we start, if we do not work on the weather aspect……The game against the Irish was always going to be tough (and it WAS) , and very few shpielers made an impression…..Steyns failure with the boot meant failure for the Boks, and although we held the scrums …… our lineout was a mess ( no I do not believe ‘Bakkies’ would have made a difference)…….a few of the better Shpielers were injured (Spies, Bakkies, Smith etc) BUT…that is Rugger, you have to have other players that can be slotted in……A disappointing end to a GR888 season…..and a well deserved rest for OUR Bokke….PDV will have to show next year, that he IS a good coach, and come back fighting, or else his HEAD is on the line….will not be easy, as the squad he took over were molded into a unit by Jake (the Fake) White, and he will now have to prove he is worthy of the Bok coaching job……
The Wales / Aussie game showed that the Aussies will become a good ‘Rugger team, and their backs are Flyers…..and they have MANY……the crowds at all the major games were again impressive………
The France / All Blacks game was the pick of the weekend……what a first half…soooo much running from both sides, BUT….as I mentioned last week, I believe that the ‘Schvartzers’ are coming back ( ‘Big Time’) to their best form…..and last year when I mentioned that Conrad Smith reminded me of ‘Onse’ Danie Gerber , I got big ‘Klaps’……and he is going to develop into a VERY good centre…Ma’Nonu , for all his aggression and mean looks, has to go, and they will then have a VERY attacking line……My prediction last week was spot on, not one E-mail acknowledging this, BUT…when a wrong call is made, Oey vey, plenty E-mails…….Looking forward to the 6 Nations in February…..can take a holiday now……
BEER BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS
A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.
‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.'
‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. '
‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.
‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'
'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
These could be ‘Kinderlach’ of Rugger players…?????
The ODI’s against England have been very mixed. With the first one rained out, second one, the ‘Poms’ Moered us, the third one we ‘Moered’ them ‘Stukkend’ and the last one….Well, they pulverized us…bowling us out for 120 ODD…must say, not sure how they are going to pick up the pieces, as the ‘Poms’ are actually a test side, and we are going to battle……need a play maker…..Some of the ‘old’ boys will have to go……the final ODI tomorrow could decide the series…..not holding out much hope, BUT………
Chaim Potok, the best selling author and an unlikely art connoisseur, telephoned his mother and told her that he had just bought a Rubens.
"Rubin? Rubin the delicatessen man?"
"No, Mama, Rubens is a painter," he explained kindly.
"Oh, this I didn't know," she said breathlessly.
Listen, Chaim, ask him how much he'll charge to paint the kitchen!"
My ‘Lichtenburg ‘ Chaver Basil Kletz invited me to go to the Joburg Sportsman Club, who have a speaker last Friday every month, and last week, Joooostlaaaaaaik (Joost Van Der Westhuizen) was the guest speaker, and spoke more about his new book, than ‘Rugger’….Very interesting….and his Writer David Gimmel also made a speech and was VERY good……some Seriaaaaaaaaaas sportsman of yesteryear attend these luncheons and they had 400 .Manne…..pictures http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php ..... must say if ‘Jooooostlaaaik’ could ‘Do It’….why not Tiger Woods….some ‘Bakgat’ one liners
Headline: "Crouching Tiger, hidden hydrant" see http://www.stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?
They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards
Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver
I find it's a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.
Tiger's wife went for him over a birdie.
What was the second worst part of Tiger's car accident? ……..
The police found the driver in the trunk.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had .
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is Elin.
Tiger Woods owns several cars; it’s a shame that he got a hole in one
End of year function for Consilium Securities Construction Theme in their unfinished renovated offices, was UNDER construction…… Michelle Gordon of Finer Details, conceptualized, coordinated and did the décor. Finer Details had to clean up the area, carpet, bring in everything from power to décor and produce an elegant construction theme. Office workers who saw the indescribable mess in the venue in the morning with piles of rubble and workmen predicted that the function would never materialise. To their astonishment the most beautiful scene was set of elegant tables and delicious food amongst the backdrop of the offices renovations in progress.
See décor pictures at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated
each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could
be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of
the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of
the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood. The
old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died
of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..
Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......
(One for my Chavers @ Westpark…….)
Moscow Yiddish Musical Theater…a must watch…for sure…Chazzonis , mixed with REAL Russian music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnY1Qm_JR1Y
Families are like a box of chocolates - They're mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
My Yiddisher Mamma says we must give back All occupied territories, BUT….
we will never give back New York………………….
JAI, presented by the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival …very moving…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nalP2eUADTQ
Chinese Jews from Kaifeng arrive in Israel 2009………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edhtdoPukk0
Last Sunday, the Helping Hands group (Young Chevra) held a fundraiser at the “Venue” in Melrose Arch, and had an E-mazing turnout of nearly 800 ‘boppers’ and a few ou ‘Toppies’……The entertainment was done by Jesse Clegg, Zunnelle of the ‘White Zulu’ Johnny ……they really do a great job of getting the Younger set involved in ‘Tzedakka’….. The first prize on the evening was a Car, which was won, re donated, and re donated again, which really helped with the fundraising…Shakeach to the ‘Wekkers’ who did an outstanding job, and a GR8888 time was had by all… http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php
With the Financial crisis biting Worldwide, it is time for the Souff Afrikken ‘Yiddisher’ community to start tightening up, and building a ‘solid’ infrastructure, and I believe the time has arrived for some amalgamations of some of the groups, as donations are drying up, and as much as every person wants his own, School, Shul, bakery etc…there are just not enough ‘Yidden’ to keep opening and expanding . Recently, there was a case of a lawyer who got ‘Gupped’ running a Ponzi scheme, and all the ‘Yiddisher’ charities that benefited might have to give back donations, and that is not even bringing ‘Bernie Madoff ‘into the picture….we will have to tighten up, so that an infrastructure can be ‘serviced’ and maintained……..
After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the Captain announced:
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293,Non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ……
HOLY CRAP !' he shouted…………….
Silence followed
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you.
While I was talking To you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in My lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled, …. you should see the back of mine! (Einaaaaaaaaah..).
Got an E-mail from Sue Suckerman in Haifa about her E-mazing ENGLEEEESH Website, which helps new Olim to the Land of Milk & Honey, and also gives detailed Info on Haifa…they had an article in the Jerusalem Post last week….
www.anglo-list.com was featured in the Jerusalem Post, 27th November 2009, both in their printed edition and their on-line edition.
With Hannukka, Chanukah etc, etc next week, I got a list of just about every Chanukah ‘Youtube’ there is…’GIB A KUK’………
http://www.jr.co.il/videos/chanukah-videos.htm
Dorita Cohen will be in Joburg Dec 25-31 2009 and are looking for an apartment or house to rent in Sandton or Glenhazel. David and Dorita Cohen & 3 Kinderlach …… cohendor@cox.net
A man's four year old son came home from Chedar one day.
When he asked him what he'd learned that day, the boy was quiet for a minute and then said
"Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?"
The wife cracked up and told him the term was "circumcised," …………
but the answer was still 'yes' to both…...Oey Vey…………..
A sad farewell to Yvonne Heitner and Eleanor Pines who are retiring from King David Victory Park after MANY years of service…….Yvonne is the wife of Doc. Rene Heitner, the well known Gauchers Doc and Pediatrician……and her Boet Danny Nussbaum does Simcha videoing….Wishing them both a well deserved rest….!!
So the two pigs, being chased by the big bad wolf, ran to the third pig's brick house. "Open the door, or else I will huff and puff and blow your house down!" "No way! You'll eat us!” said the three little pigs!
"Open the door, or else I will huff and puff and blow your house down!” screamed the now irritated wolf.
"No way! You'll eat us!” replied the three little pigs.
"Oh for crying out loud!” said the wolf, "Open the door! I'm Muslim
Got an e-mail from Hilton Kahlberg, who ran the NY marathon and on his last day went to Crown Heights, not knowing that it was the gathering of the Worldwide Lubavitch (Kinus) …and by chance bumped into Rabbi Barber of South Caulfield Shul Melbourne. South Caulfield Shul is right across the road from my house. We had a personal tour of 770 thanks to Rabbi Barber. By the way the NY Marathon was fantastic. Hilton’s family, actually come from the Ottosdal / Sannieshof area, which is near Lichtenburg, where I grew up……and is related to Rabbi Phillip Heilbron of Melbourne, and his Dad Dennis I have known for MANY years…. Hylton’s Brother & Sister , Selwyn & Shelley (Brown) worked at Stan & Pete for years, and Howard Brown, Shelley’s husband works at SASFIN with me….Picture http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php
At a busy street corner in Tel Aviv, an ‘alte’ Yid, a vacationing couple, and a young Yeshiva man are waiting for the traffic light to change.
Impatient, the Yeshiva ‘bocher’ dashes across the street against traffic.
The old man looks at the couple, and says,
"Look at him. For centuries he's been waiting for ‘Moshiach’, ……………
but he can't wait for a traffic light. (Robot)"