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GOOD SHABBOS
3 September 2009 |
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Dear All,
The weather is ‘Bakgat’ (Good)….and it is time for Sunny Skies and Braai’s……
The Cape has really had a shocking winter , with terrible floods all over…and one comment was, at least the dams are full and they should not have water rationing………………
The ‘Rugger’ was a ‘Michel’ …not the standard of play, BUT…winning + a bonus point, which leaves the Bokke almost untouchable in the Tri-nations this year, and they have won everything……..the Bokke surprised everyone by coming out and running every ball, which shocked the Aussies, and by the time the Aussies woke up, it was toooo late…BUT….we did not consolidate in the tight, and played ‘risky’ Rugger …and of course won, and the Aussies managed a Bonus point, which will not help……hopefully in the last two matches, PDV tries some open Rugger, BUT….does not over do it……keep the tight, tight and run when the opportunity arises …. They should take the Aussies easily this week, BUT…taking it toooooo easy could just see them come unstuck……next weeks final Bok game against the ‘Schvartzers’ should be VERY interesting…… I see that there are rumblings that we might get the 15th Super 14 team in Port Elizabeth …’Gas Ve Sholem’ as we are already battling to field 4 decent teams, and another..???? Methinks that the Super 10 has toooo many teams, and with all the extra games will water down the Standard and of course the interest…..sooo instead of 5/6 games to watch on some weekends it will be 8/9…Tooo much and will become a second rate Competition…..to add in an Argentina or Samoan team , would be dazzling….! ! ! ! ! !
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/sport/union/s-africa-could-snatch-15th-team-oneill-20090831-f42z.html
You got to love the Irish !
Paddy was walking along a street in Dublin, after spending the night in the Pub…. when he rounds a corner and there's a 5 storey building on fire.
Paddy being the kind-hearted Irishman he is, runs up to the building to see what he can do to assist.
He notices that there are people trapped on the top floor, leaning out the windows and calling for help.
Paddy yells up to the people 'I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick', the Irish Rugby Union fullback. I'm used to fielding high balls so if you jump I'll catch you."
As the fire is rapidly encroaching on their space one lady, in desperation, jumps out the window and sure enough Paddy catches her & puts her on the ground.
Seeing Paddy catch the woman, a young man leaps out of the window - sure
enough, Paddy catches him cleanly and stands him up on the pavement.
Witnessing this, the next person, a black man, jumps out the window.
Paddy made no attempt to catch him but just side stepped to one side and
the man slammed into the ground!
Paddy looked up at the remaining people and yelled.......his head swirlin from the beer.
"Don't waste time throwing out the burnt ones." ( Bittere Gelechte…).
Met an ex-Pat Aussie at a Simcha this week, and he was saying that I seem to be quite negative about the ‘Beloved Country’ which methinks I am not, BUT….facts are facts, and to try and push facts under a carpet , is not the answer….Methinks the ‘ Souff Effrikka’ is one of the best places to live and be a family like ’Amolikke Yoren’, BUT……there are negatives, that people must accept and not just hope they disappear ….that is wish full thinking…BUT ..To make Leon VERY happy, I give you the FNB Homecoming Revolution website, which deals mainly with the positives... ONLY. Good site and has many GR8888 facts (all positive…) www.homecomingrevolution.co.za …my GOOD Chaver Johnathan Birin (Marathon Man) , is still sending me some POSITIVE ‘Meisa’s’ about the ‘Beloved Country’, BUT…..next year is the 10th. Anniversary of the Good Shabbos letter…and I have not received anything yet….I am going to let him do the Forward for my 10th Year souvenir………should be up to 2 million ‘Hits’ by next year……busy year, as it is the 10th Anniversary, my Highlands Matric 40th year and of course also featuring will be the 2010 World Cup…which will be huge for the ‘Beloved Country’, and I hope we ‘Tukka’ give a good showing, Sokka wiZe, and organizational wiZe…….(Nuuuu that is a positive statement from Mr. Negative..??) www.sagoodnews.co.za ‘ Kleib Nachus’
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" ……..
before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a ‘schmuck’ from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! (& then some Lady lets them in…???)
Doreen is looking for an ‘old’ School Chaver from Orange grove days…that was about 60 years ago…… Greta Symonds /Simons ..they were at Orange grove Primary together, and she thinks Greta got married and moved to Durban (??)..anyone remember Greta , drop Doreen a line… eridor@optusnet.com.au
Patricia Wilson (Israel) is looking for family of hers with the same spelling as mine originally from London ( SMOOKLER)
I am trying to contact Michael b. 1942 I believe his wife is Sheryl, and Jeremy b 1956. - I believe they are the sons of the late Gerald Smookler and his wife Edith, last known address Heathfield Gdns, N.W.11. Gerald had siblings - Joseph and Hilda Polly, their parents were Morris and Sarah. If anyone knows of the family, please let me know …. smookler@netactive.co.za
Very moving rendition of The “Shema’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUJE71JpcWA
For those with time, this is an E-mazing presentation (50 mins.)
http://www.torahohr.net/gogumagog/index.php
Some light humour…Waffle Wedded Wife.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3E9U3GDrmI
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-panel energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.
He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Helloooooooo,......... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
Hellloooooooo ?? It's been a year…….. I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot. ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….).
Due to E-mazing public demand after a highly successful season in June 2008, the one man hit comedy, Happy Shabalala, starring multi-award winning performer and producer Harry Sideropoulos, will soon to be returning to the stage, opening at The Fringe at the Joburg Theatre on 14th October and running until 29th November 2009.
Happy Shabalala was born out of a deep need to laugh at the actions of people and circumstances in South Africa, which many are understandably not finding that funny right now – from the irritating but mundane, to the poignant and pressing, important issues of the day. This is a show about South African life as it is today – knowing that while it isn’t always so humorous, laughing at it helps.
Computicket at 083 915 8000 or www.computicket.com The Fringe Theatre at the Joburg Theatre (previously the Johannesburg Civic Theatre)..must be honest did not know they had changed the name…????
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer...
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber.
"That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
The Sydenham Shull ‘Friday Night Fever’ takes place tomorrow, and it will be a special Service……..and of course the Brocha on Main after the Service with “ Wors and Wine……all welcome and while there ‘Gib A Kuk’ at the New Hall renovations….’Bakgat’ (GR88888…)
Got an E-mail from Ari Klein…..” Planning to be in New York for Yomtov? Living in New York and missing a taste of home? Then join Cantor Ari Klein, formerly of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul and the Park East Synagogue in New York, for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services at Kol HaNeshamah, in New York City, where he will lead inspirational and musically uplifting services, together with his son Mendy Klein and the Mo Kiss A cappella Group. Services take place at 148 West 90th Street, between Columbus and Amsterdam Ave. Kiddush follow services as well as a Break Fast at the end of Yom Kippur. To reserve seats at no cost, visit www.kolhaneshamah.com . For further information, email Ari at kolhaneshamah@aol.com or call 646-678-2084.” Nuuuuuuuu, what an invitation……send an E-mail and book an ‘experience’ for Yomtov……..they have some E-mazing new concepts……
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A man knocked on Chaim Cohen’s door asking for clothes to give to starving people in Effrikka…... I told him to Gay Aveck (go away).
If my clothes fit them, they can’t be that hungry……?????
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.....! ! ! !
Piggs Peak Casino, home of All Africa Poker has really stacked the odds up, and have lenghthened their coverage with Poker IN the ‘Beloved Country’ and also overseas…for details on the extended TV coverage, go to;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Troubled by the way his son turned out, the Jewish lawyer went to see his Rabbi.
"I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him.
Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian.
"Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"
"Funny you should come to me", said the Rabbi. "I too brought up my son in the faith, spent a fortune putting him through university, then one day he says to me he has decided to become a Christian".
"What did you do?" asked the lawyer.
"I turned to G-d for the answer", replied the Rabbi.
"And what did G-d say?" pressed the lawyer.
"He said, 'Funny you should come to me. Two thousand years ago, I had a son......"
Did a Locum at the Klass / Arenson wedding at the Kilarney Country Club, and it brought back memories…….as Zelton, father of the Bride Pamela, used to be at Wachenheimers ‘amolikke yoren’…and then started Zelton Klass Caterers for few years……WWW. What Was, Was……… Pamela’s boet, Elliott used to teach at King David Victory Park….Mazeltov to Adana (Pamela’s Mom ) and to Craig’s (Chossen) parents, Alan & Shelley Arenson….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’ . http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
BBC NORFOLK ( True quiz….??)
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your
hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm
Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song
What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
The ‘Kamikaze Taxi’ drivers have the Government ‘Fa Pakt’ …………..and after last weeks warning, that if they make ‘KAK’ they will be severely dealt with, they just did not work on Monday, and caused total chaos withot doing there normal blockades etc, and half the workforce arrived late for work, and left early to try and get home……The Government have treated them like ‘Royalty’ for tooo long, and they are calling the tune these days, with their Chaveirim in the Unions and Kommies…….not sure if the World Cup belongs here, and what happens after the World Cup, is another guess….???? …tooo little, tooo late, The men form the Ministry have laid down the law to the Army and the taxi’s, BUT……willl they stick to their decisions….?????
Every once in a while you receive a cute e-mail that warms your heart and you just want to pass it along.
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.
It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?"
Little boy: "What the ‘hell’ do you think?" ( ??????????).
"Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark…..
You know what you are doing, but nobody else does."
Got an E-mail from Ken Phillips and ‘Old’ Highlands ‘Boytjie’ who went with his Chaver Arnold Aarons on a Motor bike ride to Potch last weekend, and all the Bikers stayed at the Artillery School. And were invited to a shoot the G5 , G6 Canons and the S.A. version of the STALIN ORGAN ( RENOSTER). The shoot was E-mazing…staying in a Bungalow with 50 other bikers was like ‘Amolikke Yoren’ .. see Picture http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php The Manne call that a ‘voes’ (wild) weekend……. In Potchefstroom nogall…………
A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked,
"Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said,
"It's my dog. ……. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,”I believe my dog just killed it,sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief? "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir." (Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaik…….)
Popped into the Burland wedding, and saw quite a few ex Pats there…Nathan and Terry Mowszowski and the Feinblum’s from Rananafontein and MILTON Krowitz from Sydney who reckons he is the number 1 ‘Stan The Good Shabbos Man’ fan, and has read the Joke Book a record 18 times….and hopes that the next one will come out sooooooon…next year is the 10th. Anniversary of the letter….soooo who knows maybe…….??? I have posted a Picture of Milton on the website, http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php and hope that he will get some COVET (respect)……Had a chat to the Brides Zaida, Mr Myers, and he is a very knowledgeable “Rugger’ Boytjie, and told me two of his many Rugger ‘Meias’s and the best part was that most of it was in Yiddish……and while ‘ koching’ we realized that he and his family are also from Malat…
The first story he told was about Morris Zimmerman , that GR8 ‘BOK’ wing of yesteryear whose mother was brought to the Glass Room at Ellis Park late ‘40’s to watch her Zunnelle Morris play a Test, and when he got the ball , and the whole All Black team were chasing him…she screamed…’Morris, Vu layf tsu, gib dem ball tzurig ( throw away the ball’)……(loose a lot by not being in Yiddish) …..
The next was in the ’49 Test when Okey Geffen and Fanie Kuhn were propping the scrum for the Boks, and after a few scrums Okey came up to Fanie and said;’Bliksem, iemand krap my oe, en ek kan nie sien nie’ (Someone in the scrum is closing my eyes and I cannot see… Fanie said; Moenie worry Okey…and the very next scrum, when everyone broke away, the All Blacks ‘lock’ was out cold….Okey was shocked, and that was the last time it ever happened …….these days you cannot get away with it … toooo many TV video camera’s…taken the ‘Fun’ out of ‘Rugger’………ask Bakkies & Schalk……
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No. (Oeyvevoy)
Summertime, is “ SMOOKLERSBORD’ time……STAN & PETE CATERERS LAUNCH THERE 2009 SUMMER SMORGASBORD 21ST OCTOBER At 7PM
VENUE: KILLARNEY COUNTRY CLUB (T.A.C.)
BOOK NOW: 011 728 7668 ……… Info@stanandpete.co.za
See details at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Very excited that my Zunnelle’s are coming home for Yomtov from London, and today my ‘Cuzzie’ Sarge arrives from Oekland for Yomtov…..’VERY LEKKER.
FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……
Mazeltov Loryn (Traub) and Craig (Shapiro) on their engagement this week….Craig is a Chaver of my Zunnelle Martin……To the parents Arnold & Sue Shapiro and Ethne & Aubrey Traub……. Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…..
Mazeltov to Jodi (Ginsburg) and David Stone who got married in San Diego last week…….Jodi is originally from Joburg, and Mazeltov to her parents, Glenda (Kupshik) and Doc Phillip Ginsburg…The Chossen is also from San Diego, and Mazeltov to his parents Abe & Helene Stone….. Glenda is the daughter of the Late Morris Kupshik, who had the E-mazing Kosher ‘polonies’ and ‘Gerichten’ in Orange Grove ‘Amolikke Yoren’……Glenda’s brothers Hilton (Atlanta ) and Arnold also came for the ‘Simcha’…Arnold was at SASFIN before moving to Melboune and it is always GR8 to see old ‘Chavers’….Glenda & Phillip were old Sandtonians…. Pictures; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
HAPPY BIRTHDAY….to all my FAMILY who have Birthday’s in September …
There must be close to 20….I am not even going to try and name them all, BUT….Today ‘Punkt’ is Michelle (Weitzman) Kerem’s , and yesterday was my Niece Candice , and Mike and Stan and Ava and Joel and Helen and, and , and…….Sooooo to cut out ‘Faribles’ happy birthday to my FAMILY for September…….
Mazeltov to the Gerschlowitz family ( from the Shtetl – Glenhazel – ( Carol & Ralph) on the marriage of their Zunnelle Dean to Rachael Kafton at the Park Lane Hotel, London…….My Zunnelle Martin was there and reckons it was very British and Posh, with a traditional Toastmaster also…..Steven leas, who has started a Simcha Band in London, was the band, and was very ‘Lebedik’ …. Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha……See pictures http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest… (Mmmmmmm that is quite E-mazing…………..).
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said,
"Darling, it’s my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?
She would like something electric."
The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"
Sincere condolences to the Seligman family (and extended) on the loss of their Beloved Dave…Dave was a man with great knowledge and had experienced sooo much in his long and dedicated life…Dave was in the Hotel business many years ago, and we often discussed the Liquor board and their ‘Mishugus’…he was Mayor of Middelburg and when he moved to the big ‘Shtod’ (Joburg) was actively involved in virtually every Yiddisher community excelling at running the Jewish Schools programme, which entailed making sure that Yiddisher kinderlach in Government schools still got a ‘dose’ of Jewish education and was also Chairman of the Chevra Kadisha among many other duties……Dave will be missed, and sincere condolences to the whole family, who over the past 35 years, I have got to know VERY well…..
The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm
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| MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week; |
- When advertising Cars, furniture or anything for sale, try not to give an address in the papers.
- When selling property, be VERY careful, because of late, the ‘’Gunovim” have been targeting properties for sale, and cleaning the homes out…
- Always think of the negatives, before inviting strangers into your safe environment.
- Komputta ‘hacking’ is rife, so always upgrade your Komputta security, and change Passwords and Pins often……
- NEVER let anyone now your Password or pin….NEVER.
- Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………
| Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff. |
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Click here to view the website :
http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…
From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za
PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….
CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com |
Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…
Check out the new Archive Section
on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas |
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Parsha of The Week |
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Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’ Sermonette Ki Tavo
G-d in the Fast Lane
Can we prepare for a blessing? Can one plan to be blessed? Obviously, we believe that when we live life as G-d intended us to we will find or lives blessed in many ways. Even if we do not always see the results tangibly or immediately we certainly are aware of many blessings that come with the territory of leading a G-dly life. But there is a verse in our Parsha, which promises us blessings we never even dreamed of.
If you will listen to the voice of Hashem…and observe the commandments…then G-d will make you supreme over all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you.
What does it mean that blessings will overtake you? Rabbi Ovadia Sforno, one of the classic Biblical commentators suggests that it means you will be blessed even when you made no effort to seek those blessings. It will come out of the blue, an unexpected windfall.
The story is told of the saintly Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev that he once saw a young man running down the street. The Rav stopped him and asked, “Where are you running?” The fellow answered, “To make a living, rabbi.” To which the Berditchever responded, “So how do you know that your living lies is in that direction? Perhaps your livelihood is to be found in the opposite direction?”
Do we ever know for sure? How often do the best laid plans of mice and men come to naught? Haven’t we all had the experience of trying our hardest to do a deal with all the planning, strategizing, blood, sweat and tears and yet nothing whatsoever materialized? And on the other hand, there may have been times when we put no work into it at all and suddenly from nowhere we landed the deal of the year! The truth is we don’t know where the blessing of our livelihood lies.
And so it is with spiritual blessings. There are times when we make the effort and remain uninspired and there are times when we become inspired effortlessly. According to the Baal Shem Tov, our unconscious soul may hear something on a higher plane and it filters down to our conscious soul and we are touched, moved or inspired.
We live in an era of much confusion. Many are lost, floundering in spiritual wildernesses. But many are finding themselves too. There have been many who didn’t necessarily go looking for G-d but G-d found them. “How did you get inspired?” “To tell you the truth, I’m not really sure. I was minding my own business and I bumped into this Rabbi.” Or, “I was sitting next to this fellow on the plane…” Or, “I was just a tourist at the Western Wall but something moved me.” Everybody has a story. In some stories we went looking for G-d, in others He came looking for us.
So if you feel the spirit overtaking you, don’t speed up. Slow down. Let it catch up with you. May the blessings of G-d overtake you and transform your life.
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