Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
4 February 2010

Dear All,

The weather has been wet & stormy, BUT….it looks like the sun could become a feature again, after a few sightings the last few days….The Vaal Dam, overflowed and the surrounding area’s were flooded, as were MANY area’s in the ‘Ou’ Transvaal………

The Bokke are in Seriaaaaaaas trouble with the Indian tour starting next week in India….and the Team looks very ‘Schwagg’ on paper……the loss of Mickey (Mouse) Arthur in my ‘humble’ opinion is not a GR88888 loss, BUT…the timing is Shreiklach….…. when will we ever learn…????

The ‘Rugger’ friendly’s have started with such mixed results, hard to see a pattern for the coming season, BUT…the ‘Sharkies’ (Natal) will have to do some real brushing up……. Got an E-mail from greg S in Oz who reminded me that Clive Rathbone’s Mom became an Aussie on Aussie Day (261/2010) Clyde Rathbone could have been a GR8888 player, BUT….for his groot ‘bek’ and injury, which cut his playing time……..soooooo many ex Pats playing for sooooo many countries, but their own….

THE REAL OLD WEST
A cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.
The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition.
'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man..
'Sure will,' replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
'That's terrific!' said the hot shot. 'Got any more tips for me?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw'.
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.
'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.
'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun..'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.
'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the
piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ‘Tochus’, and it won't hurt as much. ( Mmmm)

The Melbourne Open was a ‘Michel’ to watch, and the Williams sisters are still in control (a bit ‘Grob’ at times)….Wow, to see greats like Margaret Court and Billy Jean King……..!!!!!! The mens final was tough and the Win by Federer was deserved…..I never believed that he would be able to pick up the pieces after Nadal ‘shredded’ him at Wimbledon, BUT….the ‘Boytjies’ got what it takes……

In a survey conducted earlier this week, 1,000 American blondes were asked if they would
sleep with Tiger Woods and 89 per cent said: ………….. "Never again". ...

Sokka 2010 rolls on, with (I did say so 4 years ago) FIFA warning that due to the long haul, many less International spectators can be expected……..and that the Locals would fill the gap….feel a bit sorry for those ‘Gold Diggers’ who were thinking that with soooo many coming, they could fleece them……The CAF cup in Angola was very organized, and the standard quite good….crowds looked well behaved, and no major incidents except the shooting of the Togo team before the Games begun……Egypt played very well, and ended up winners……although they are not coming to SOKKA 2010……. According to the ‘Sokka E-fundi’s’, none of the Effrikken teams coming , showed any promise of even reaching the quarter finals…??? I am feeling a bit sorry for ‘OUR’ own team….they could embarrass us big time……the ‘GEES’ is starting to grow, with sooooo many firms dressing staff in Sokka 2010 gear on Fridays, and at Brian Joffe’s little company, Bidvest , all 70,000 employees wear a Bidvest / Wits Sokka jersey on Fridays……Mmmmmmmmm….Big Sokka balls are starting to appear all over the place and I was in Pretoria last week, and there Tower also has one, and Hundai has put a Hot air balloon next to Sandton City…….. Big talk about Tent towns being planned to house the Dutch supporters and others….Winter can be Cod in the ‘Ou Transvaaal’……Methinks that Durban will be the place to watch …warm , sea etc….of course Cape Town is beautiful, BUT……..freezing…

80 yr old man: My 28 yr old wife is pregnant, your opinion Doctor?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella
instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the
umbrella, pulls the handle and BANG... The lion drops dead!

Old man: That's impossible; someone else must have shot the lion.
Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!!  ……… (Oey vey……..)

The English Premier League has not been this hard fought for years, and it sure looks like Chelsea have the Class to take the League……….???? Manchester did well to beat Arsenal, BUT….are thin on a squad , where as Chelsea seem to have a better squad…….if Rooney is injured , Manchester will be in ‘Shtogg’…..

Please don’t forget the ‘BUMPER’ Shabbos @ Sandton Shul this weekend, with Chazzan Yitzchak Meir Helfgot doing a few numbers, the Droshe by Chief Rabbi Lau, and ‘OUR’ very own Ryan Manoim, doing the Maftir & Haftorah , and they will be assisted by ‘OUR’ Chazzan Avron Alter and the Choir ‘Boys’ soooooo ably led by Maish Prekow…… Hopefully it will be a Rain free Shabbos soooo that the Slackers have no excuses………I am sure we will get many visitors from other Shuls……The interest shown in the Teffilin story was E-mazing, and I have included a few ‘Yiddisher Tefillin’ Jokes at ; http://stantgsm.com/list_jokes.php My Zunnelle Martin and a few of his Chavers were telling me a ‘Meisa’ about when Helfgot davened at the Great Sysnagogue in Yerushalayim…they left the Yeshiva at 7.00 am and got to Shul @7.45 am and there was a crowd minglingling outside…the Yeshiva ‘Bochrim’ thought that they were early, as the doors were closed, and all of a sudden the security guards starting throwing tear gas at the crowd to disperse them…they reckon the Shul was ‘Chok A Block’…get to Sandton early…………..

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 …… CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again..
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
... I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!' …….Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaik…………..

Got an E-mail from a proud ‘Yiddisher Mama’ Ester Isakov, who came from Benoni ‘Amolikke Yoren’, Ronnen Isakov received the 2009 Ambassador Milton A. and Roslyn Z. Wolf Young Campaigner of the Year Award from the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland at the Opening Event of the 2010 Campaign for Jewish Needs, Tuesday, January 26, 2010, at Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple, 23737 Fairmount Boulevard, Beachwood. The event also featured sports media consultant Lisa Levine and “the Jewish Jordan,” Tamir Goodman.
See article at ; http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php Benoni is of course World famous due to Charlene Theron coming from there…..Oey vey…..
A blind man was describing his favourite sport - skydiving. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him. "I am placed in the door and told when to jump," he said. "My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.""But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered."But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered, "Oh, my dog's leash goes slack."
The ‘Shtick’ on Highlands North High School ‘Aquilians’ reunion really brought in MANY replies, and I want all other Highlands Old Boys to drop me an E-mail smookler@netactive.co.za ……. Looks like 30th June will be the Highlands Old Boys 70th. Reunion ………..drop me a line……

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. …...and how was your day?

Copper wire theft has become sooooo Seriaaaaaaaas in the ‘beloved Country’ with whole Business ditricts going without phones for days due to wire theft, and it is no different on the Electricity side, BUT….here it is very dangerous and mant ‘Gunovim’ get ‘Braaaaied’ by the current running thru’ the wires…it is a big problem, BUT….’OUR’ Gunovim have outdid themselves in a story last week….
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=15&art_id=nw20100128115030560C893343

Breaking news! .. NBC affiliate interviews Kivi Bernhard on the USA economy.
Link to video below: ….. http://kivibernhard.com/home/archives/619 Kivi is the Zunnelle of Rabbi Norman Bernard (ex Oxford Shul) very impressive……..

A college professor asked his class a question: "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"
One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, "Professor, you're 44."
The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"
The student said, "Well, professor I have a brother who's 22 and he's only half nuts."
Cantor Ari Klein writes from New York that it has been a joy to see so many friends from the ‘alter heim’ at the High Holiday and monthly services of our organization Kol HaNeshamah sponsors in New York. We are organizing a reunion for South Africans (whether you live in New York or are just visiting) at a Friday Night dinner March 5th. The dinner will follow our ‘lebedike Shabbos’ services that I lead with our Accopella group. We are hosted at Ramath Orah, 550 West 110th Street, between Broadway and Amsterdam. We would love to have as many of you join us. Please email me at Aklein1054@aol.com  for more information about March 5th or if you want to join our email list. Looking forward to seeing and hearing from you! … saw bernard Seeff the other day, and he rocked up with 15 Chavers for Yom Kippur and had an E-mazing Yom Tov….

Sick, BUT..................
What's scarier than being married to Lorena Bobbitt?
Getting a divorce from O.J. Simpson.

How will Clinton be remembered? …. As the president after Bush.
What do Teheran and Hiroshima have in common? … Nothing yet.
What sexual position should a woman use to make an ugly kid? Ask your Mom.

David Lewin is looking for info ; Have you any idea how we can begin to trace in South Africa the family of a woman who arrived there from Israel in 1963?
We are looking for Eliska KULKOVA [KULKA] Sister of Egon FARNIK and of Richard FRANK . Their father Josef FRANK who had lived at Rynicka 30, in Ostrava, Czechoslovakia was declared dead on 22 April 1943.
In 1947 Eliska KULKOVA [KULKA] was living in Herzliya III, Palestine.
We know that she left Israel in 1963 - most probably for South Africa.
Is there any way of finding archived information about arrivals in South Africa?
Does the name KULKA appear anywhere in South Africa?
Do you recognize any of these names?
Can you guide us in any way? davidlewin@btinternet.com David has an organization assisting ‘Yidden’ from Czechoslovakia... http://remember.org/unite/

New Employment Rules in the ‘Beloved Country’…… A few ..many more to irk the Unions.

SICKDAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.

SURGERY
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

HOLIDAYS
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends or relatives. Every effort should be made to have non-employees to attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled for the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch-hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slimfast and take a diet pill.

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you must come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing designer clothing we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.
PS - please charge the time spent reading this email to ANNUAL LEAVE.

Eli Rabinowitz in Perth is a ex Pat, and sends me info from time to time on Simcha’s that he Video’s in Oz….and he sent me 4 Simcha’s that he did in the past few weeks, with ex Souff Effrikken /Perth connections….
Terri (Mann) & Earl Louis at the PHC - Perth Hebrew Congregation – Rabbi Dovid Freilich;
Stef (Symonds) & Marc Schwartz at the Sunken Gardens, UWA, Perth – Rabbi Marcus Solomon;
Hayley (Reichman) & Jason Hadassin at The Sergeant’s Mess in Mosman, Sydney – Rabbi Aron Moss;
Tamarin (Oblowitz) & Vadim Perelman at the Cliff Restaurant in Koh Samui in Thailand – Rabbi Jonathan Shippel.
HD highlights of the Chuppahs are available on the elirab52 Channel on YouTube for family and friends to share:
http://www.youtube.com/user/elirab52 Contact Eli at eli@elirab.com

Thought for the week: (Yiddish Proverb)
"It is better for my enemy to see good in me than for me to see evil in him."
Stan Speciaaaaaaaaal……….
Dew knot trussed yore spell checker two fined awl yore mistakes ……..

OC Kosher Butcher & Deli in Irvine, has just completed their latest renovation, and the ‘Shopkella’ is now ‘Bakgat’ (Very nice)..they offer a wide range of Kosher meats and Deli items, take out meals, platters etc….see their Website for updates and product offers…..It is owned by ex Souff Effrikkens….. www.ockosher.com The Wolder & Dimant families are involved…….there is a large Wolder family from Fochville ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and Ashley Dimant is one of Joe’s Zunnelle’s who played bowls at Beaconsfield……..

A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by one of the new doctors,
but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she
ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was,
and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room

The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and
demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown
children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
   "Are her hiccups gone?" (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…………………).

Sooooooooo many Simcha’s, soooooooooo little time, as my Zunnelle’s are back (not sure how L-O-N-G..??) and the home is full again…really glorious………..
Last week, there were two E-mazing weddings….and what made them was the Ruach (livliness)….. On Tuesday was the Rumbak / Webber wedding, and it was ‘Tukka’ magic and being a ‘Frum’ affair, VERY ‘Lebbedik’……. Ariel married Gina (Rumbak) ….          Ingrid & David have been Chavers of mine for years…..and Ingrid’s Dad Robert Kropman (Pretoria) had his Late brother Carl Kropman (Klerksdorp) used to come through to Lichtenburg often with my Late Uncle Morrris Pantanowitz (Klerksdorp) to buy cattle on the ‘Vendisie’……..Very few ‘Yidden’ have not had a Tooth ‘Pulled’ by the MAJOR ‘Tooth fairy’, Doc Julian Rumbak, and Zoe Rumbak is a sister to the ‘Posniak’ boys…and it goes on and on…My Zunnelle Martin, and Gina’s Boet Shlomo were at the same Yeshiva and are good Chavers…..Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpoch’……the other wedding on Thursday was the Rosen /Tooch wedding, and it was a secular wedding that also just ‘Rocked’………it was E-mazing, and I was sent pictures from amateur photographers, with the Marathan Man (Johhny Birin) and his band……
Mazeltov to (Tooch) & Shanin Rosen……..Shanin was with my Zunnelle Martin at School and they did articles together at Price Waterhouse….these days, Shanin works at SASFIN with me……I did Linda & Hilton Rosen’s ‘Chasener ‘ Amolikke Yoren, and the 3 boys Barmy’s and the weddings ( only Farrell left) and they were very involved in Hockey at the ‘old’ Jewish Guild……..Harold Tooch, might I inform you, is from Wynberg High in the Cape, and he always reminds me, as he hangs around with Athlone and Highlands ‘oaks’ these days……Mrs Tooch Dad is Johnny Sonnabend, who is effectionately know as ‘Mr.HOD’ and he is still running around the various Lodges……Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……. http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Got to Luv our President ,Jacob Zuma (JZ)…….as he is a TRUE lover…..20 ‘Kinderlach’, 5 wives and one ‘Skelm’ on the side…….and of course ‘Uncle Julius’(Malema) reckons that he is ‘OUR’ leader, soooo no one must criticize him , and a couple of the ‘Men From The Ministry’ reckon that it is a private matter, and should not receive any criticism   …….. Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..??
I have just one ‘Tiena’ (criticism) of JZ…… even a normal citizen like ‘Joe Soap’ should be ‘Kakked’ on for having ‘Kinderlach’ at the tender age of 69…….it is ‘Tukka’ a Mishugas……… at 69, that leaves the poor child VERY little chance of even getting to know its ‘Tatta’………. Irwin Khoza (The Iron Duke ) is someone you don’t play with…….for JZ to be in charge of 50m, and carry on so careless is a disgrace……. ….Blaaaaa blaaaaaa………….

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’   at;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Mazeltov to Linky (Ross) & Larry ( aka The Lounge Lizard) Kotzen on the birth of their Prince ….Mazeltov to the Grandparents…Bev, Howard ,Avi ,Ettie and Nita & Late Uppie Kotzen ( Lichtenburg…) and Great Granny Hannah…..Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’………

A special Happy Birthday to my Zunnelle Martin, who has just come home from Yeshiva, and to my ‘Cuzzie’ in Too-Run-Too, Kevin Weitzman…both were born on the 3rd.February……Kevin’s Uncle Sarge (Norman) Weitzman was my partner at Stan & Pete for 25 years, and now lives in Oekland…..Sarge is also a Highlands ‘Old boy’, ..BUT Kevin’s Dad Irvine, went to Athlone…..Oey vey…..Mazeltov to allll…

Happy birthday to Aubrey Lampert and big Mazel on turning 70……many more and lots of Nachus to the family… http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php

Many other family members with Birthdays and Anniversaries …Happy Birthday to my Niece Robyn (Smookler) Brendon (Campbell) Mike Kerem and of course my ‘Cuzzie’ and ‘Old’ Stan & Pete partner Sarge (Norman) & Joan (Fairly) on their Silver Anniversary (25) this week ………………Mazeltov to allllllll…..

Sincere condolences to the Goldstuck family on the loss of their Beloved Oscar…he was a gentle man, who had time for everyone, and tried to assist where ever he could…….Oscar really stood tall in the ‘Yiddisher’ community helping with MANY projects, and might I add the Non ‘Yiddisher’ community also, and will be a big loss to the Community and also to ‘Macsteel’ where he worked for many years…..Sincere condolences to the whole family……

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

When talking on a Cell phone always make sure you are in safe surroundings

Do not talk while driving, as it ‘blur’s’ your concentration, and the ‘Gunovin’ know that

NEVER speak on the Cell phones in the street, where you are visible to sooo many

Keep the Cell phone out of vision when not in use.

Always be alert of your surroundings before using your Cell phones.

Still cannot believe that people reply to these stupid ‘spammed’ E-mails asking for Bank details, Pin numbers etc. NO matter how convincing the E-mail looks, call the institution…they will confirm the Hoax

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………

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Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…

Check out the new Archive Section
on the website where you can view past pictures from Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Births, Bar Mitzvahs / Bat Mitzvahs, and many other Jewish Simchas

Click here to view

Parsha of The Week

Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Sermonette Parshas Yisro

But Does it Speak to You?

The locomotive was making its first appearance in the little town of old. No one had ever seen a horseless carriage before. Every one of the townspeople had gathered at the new station to witness history in the making. The gun was fired and with a flourish of huffing and puffing the locomotive roared down the tracks. Well…the engine that is. Unfortunately, the shlemiel whose job it was had forgotten to hitch the other cars to the engine and they were left behind in a trail of smoke.

Sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men don’t come to fruition - a business strategy, a football game plan, or even, perish the thought, a synagogue resolution made on Yom Kippur!

The introduction to the Ten Commandments we will read in this week’s Parsha is, And G-d spoke all these words, to say…in Hebrew, leimor. Now, when the Torah uses the word leimor, to say, it is usually G-d telling Moses something important which he in turn should pass on and tell the Jews. So the word leimor makes perfect sense. He said it to him to say it to them. But here we have a problem. You see, every Jew was present at Sinai and according to the mystics, that includes even the unborn souls of future generations. So there was no need for Moses to pass on anything to anyone. All the Jews heard the Ten Commandments directly from G-d, so why the word leimor? To say to whom?

Rabbi Dov Ber, the great Maggid of Mezeritch, explained that here the word leimor means to speak to you. That these words should not remain mere words but that they should resonate and say something meaningful to you personally. They should be said and heard so that they continue to reverberate forever in your minds, heart and deeds. The Ten Commandments dare not remain an abstract idea, an unhitched engine, a nice philosophy or an interesting cultural practice - something akin, say, to the ancient Incas of Peru. The Ten Commandments must be relevant enough to make a difference in our lives; otherwise whom did G-d say them to and whatever for?

The Talmud describes a thief who says a prayer to G-d for success before breaking in to commit a burglary. The epitome of hypocrisy - G-d told you Thou Shalt Not Steal and you have the audacity to ask Him to help you succeed in defying His wishes? This has got to be the ultimate chutzpah! How do we get a handle on this Talmudic thief’s hypocrisy? The answer is that he, too, is a believer, but his faith is superficial and doesn’t permeate his being sufficiently to influence his behavior. Deep down he has faith but he remains a religious goniff!

The rabbi was in his study when in walked Berl, the town pickpocket. “Rabbi I was walking down the street and found this wallet lying on the ground. I know that to return a lost article is a Mitzvah of the Torah so I brought it in. Perhaps you can make an announcement in Shul and find the rightful owner.” The rabbi sees there is a fair amount of cash in the wallet. He is so inspired at Berl’s change of heart that he embraces him and congratulates him on his reformation. Later, on his way out, the rabbi notices that the gold wristwatch he had in his jacket pocket is missing. He calls Berl and asks him if perchance he may have inadvertently taken his watch. Berl confesses. “I don’t understand you Berl. You find a wallet full of cash in the street and you return it and then you go and steal my gold watch?

Berl answers, “Rabbi, returning lost articles is a big mitzvah but when it comes to picking pockets, business is business.”

We all believe and we all want to do mitzvahs, big and small. The trick is to translate our inner piety into outer practice. What does my faith do for me? Does it speak to me? How does it transform my behavior, my life? Does it make any tangible difference in my value system? The Torah cannot remain a theory on the drawing board. The Ten Commandments do indeed speak to us. The question is, are we listening?

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