Jesse Jackson sees RED in NJ…..
There was a fire in a three-family walk up in New Jersey.
A black family of six lived on the first floor. They all perished in the fire.
A Mexican family of eight lived on the second floor. They also perished.
This was a terrible tragedy………
A white couple lived on the third floor. They survived.

Jesse Jackson, wanting to cut someone's ‘Baetzim’ off for the disaster, demanded to know why the whites survived when the others didn't. ????
The fire chief said the answer was simple.
The white couples were at work when the fire broke out.........  (Einaaaaaaaah….)

Ezra Sher, Chazzan of Pine Street Shul, is having a concert on Monday 22 September 2008, 7:30PM .Pine Street Choir & Evelyn Green, PLUS many others
Tickets & Enquiries R70, Contact 011 640 3101 or 083 4076633 “Gonna” be a Good one and it is always soooooo much better when in a Shul…. !! ! ! ! ! ! !
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

"MIKE UNTERHALTER IN HOUSTON TEXAS OFFERS HIGH LEVEL MANAGEMENT POSITION IN AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR/SERVICE. SPONSORSHIP CAN BE DISCUSSED. E/MAIL:  atlas7306@aol.com OR CALL :281.558.8689 (POSSIBLE EVENTUAL TAKE OVER OF THIS LARGE CONCERN)" ‘Gib Him A Call’….

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, who was taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unconcerned that her dining companion had disappeared.

The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

On a Seriaaaaaaaas matter, there were 54,000 people at the ‘Rugger’ test between The Bokke & the Aussies, and one African lady was racially insulted, and every News broadcast & Papers have had a full go….Firstly, in Souff Effrikka it is risky for any ladies to go and watch, as the behaviour of the ‘Shikkerers’ is terrible and has been like that for as long as I can remember, and those that went to the ‘old’ Ellis park, would remember that when you stood up to see a corner TRY, they would pelt you with ‘Naartjies’…….this one incident, and the coverage is totally out of proportion and just brings out the Racism in the ‘Mense’ more……..

Rita has a large 4 bedroom house in Bellevue Hill, Sydney that she is looking to rent out for 4 months from 26 Sept 08 till 25 Jan 09.  The house is only 3 years old, has a swimming pool, and a great view of the city, Harbour Bridge and Opera House. It is very centrally located in the Eastern Suburbs near Bondi and the city. Contact her at; rita@hakim.com.au

Observing the Baby one night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only R90 "  ( Oey vy, what do us men know……???)

“Prof Mthuli Ncube, director of the Wits Business School, is looking to revive and renew the WBS alumni association.  The most important, and ongoing, project is to update our WBS alumni data base and if there are any alumni who need to update details, please could they contact me at debbie.sachs@wits.ac.za or 011 717 3637.  I have been in contact with lots of our alumni in Israel, the US, UK, New Zealand and Oz.   We have started a chapter in Sydney and they are going to have their second breakfast this month.” The WBS is 40 years old in 2008 and, to celebrate this milestone, the Wits Business School is having an MBA 40th Anniversary Alumni Event the first weekend in October
 Must be a few 1,000 ‘Yidlach’ that went through the WBS, and even if you cannot make the 40th re union, send then your details…a very good way to stay connected…… http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon.
The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance.
His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says
"Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."

The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he gets there his father says
"Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."

The son, almost out of breath from his run to the house says "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin!!!!"
"Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!" ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…)

Did a ‘Locum’ at the Fittinghoff / Moss engagement…….Dani got engaged to Warren and it was such a ‘Kooooool’ breakfast, with Yael Romberg supplying the Cuppochino/Hot Chocolate etc……..Warrens dad Selwyn was at Athlone with my ‘old’ Stan & Pete partner Dennis Cohen and they swam like fish…….and Selwyn’s Boet came from Sydney and was also a swimmer of note………Dani’s Dad Rodney hails from Krugersdorp, and he helped with the Beaconsfield kitchen ‘Amolikke Yoren’…….soooo many familiar faces at the engagement, and I bumped into the Jamieson’s , who had Do It Yourself Cupboards 30 years ago, and I did Catering for there Showroom promotions….Jeff Wittels (Now Cape Town) was with them in those days….Lots of Mazel to the whole ‘Mishpocha’……

AN ‘oke’ from Cape Town stopped at a rough nightclub in Jozi. When he left his car was gone. He stormed back into the bar, pulled out a gun and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Who stole my car?” he bellowed. No one answered. “I’m gonna have another beer and if my wheels aren’t back outside by the time I’ve finished, I’m gonna do what I did back on the Cape Flats!”
The guy had another beer and his car mysteriously returned.
 The bartender followed him out and said: “What happened on the Cape Flats?”
The guy smiled ... “My broer, I had to walk home.”

Happy Birthday to Harold Sacks in Melbourne on reaching a ¾ Century….his Chavers went running with him on Sunday and sang Happy Birthday on the trot……….Harold ran Vered Estates with his family, Barbara & Colin, and they left a very lekker business to go to Aussie…..Remeber doing the Sacks Barmy’s at their home in Victory Park, and Harold built a bridge over the pool to hold the buffet……that was at least 30 years ago……..Harold’s Late Mom Jessie stayed across the road from me in 5th.Street, Orange Grove……..and his relation Brian Sacks was at Highlands with me……..Colin, his Zunnelle is opening a new Real Estate business in Melbourne under the RE/MAX banner, and is happy to  assist any Souff Effrikkens with any queries they may have on buying properties in Melboure. colins@remax.com.au . Also looking for anyone who wants to work in the wonderful world of real estate…Nuuuuuu there must be a few Agents looking for a ‘Gap’…???? Happy Birthday and many more…..Pictures at;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

In a small Texas town, (Mt. Vernon) Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not. (Kaylikka’s ..Slow ones) will take awhile…………..

One of the most challenging questions facing the younger Jewish generation is how to keep the memory of the Holocaust alive. Not too far in the future, there will no longer be "Holocaust Survivors" alive on earth to tell their stories. It will be left to the next generation to tell the story in their  own manner.
  This year, Grammy award winning Israeli violinist Miri Ben-Ari and Israeli rap/hip-hop star Kobi "Subliminal" Shimoni have co-produced a hip-hop music video expressing their sentiments on the Shoah. It is called "God Almighty When Will it End." I have pasted the "YouTube.com" link below for you to watch it. Before you click and watch, just a few words. Prepare yourselves to see something that is quite non--traditional and that expresses the Shoah in ways that we have never seen before. I am sure that some of you, at first sight and sound, may even find it disturbing.
 You should know, however, that in Israel, this CD/Video was distributed by the thousands to students in schools, by recommendation, approval and blessing of -- amongst others -- Professor Yehuda Bauer (Israel's leading historian on the Holocaust) and Rabbi Benny Lau (son of Holocaust survivor and former Israeli Chief Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau). 
 As highly traditional people, they both praised this genuine effort make the message of the Holocaust relevant to a disconnected younger generation. In one way or the other, may the memory of the Six Million always remain alive in our hearts and souls, Amen.   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVYanQ5r6rw  It is a different view of the Holocaust, BUT…brings the message across in a modern way…….

In case anyone is considering doing some camping this spring or summer, please note the following public service announcement:
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears.
Tourists are also cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears.
One can tell a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it. ( Palin Country….Tough..??)

That World famous ‘Kruger Park’ video clip, that had only 11,000 ‘hits’ when I put it on, and now features in National Geographic and has had 36m ‘HITS’ to date
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM  With Mrs Palin in the NEWS these past few days, a ‘lekker’ article to read about the ‘Chabadniks’ of Alaska and their Chaver Mrs Palin..  http://www.shturem.net/index.php?section=news&id=29167&lang=english

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel reading a computer magazine. He notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?" The cop says: "What are you doing?" The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she
doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a sweater."
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's lane....and nothing obscene is happening! The cop asks:
 "What's your age, young man?" The young man says:" I'm 22, sir." The cop asks:
 "And her ... what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and replies:
"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.  ( Pity Palin’s daughter could not wait…….???)

Remember with the Yomtayvim ONLY just over 3 weeks away ( Skrikky….) , you can send E-cards through The helping Hands Cards (Young Chevra..)
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php  Oey, who remembers sending Shonatevah’s through the post, what a Shlepp…just E-mail Helping Hands and they will send your greetings for you hassle free……….

For corporate or Simcha speeches, presentations etc, “Write Hand woman”
Contact Ruth on 082 857 7337 or Email rlurie@mweb.co.za She makes life very easy, and the ‘Shpiels’ are gr8  http://www.stantgsm.com/list_directory.php

For those ‘Yidlach’ wanting Souff Effrikken info on Israel, the best place to get it is the TELFED online letter…either double click on their site on the letter, or go to
http://www.telfed.org.il

Toni Jade (Efune) sent me some very nice pictures of the SHLKLAZ / SHARP wedding, which was held last week at the Wanderers….and was Catered by Shelley Geffen. The one picture even has The ‘Marathon Man’ (Johnny Birin) in it…the décor done by Gideon was superb……Rob Turner did the video…….and of course Toni the pictures, with  Karen Churnik doing the make –up…Jason (The Chosen) is the Grandson of the Late Litvin Sharp ( Emmerentia) who was very well known as a ‘Yiddisher’ communal worker..and a SHARP ( excuse the pun ) accountant….. Thanks Toni for the ‘lovely set of pictures’
 FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’  at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Happy birthday to my MANY family & friends who are having Birthdays this month, including my wife, Zunnelle Joel & myself……Nieces Robyn & Candice, Nephew Mike, Cuzzy Michelle, etc , etc must be 15 this month….

Sincere condolences to the Margolis family on the passing of your Beloved Ethel... To Carol & Billy Blumberg and Meira Margolis and the Grandchildren, Sincere condolences…………

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

• Knowing your surroundings is most important.
• Always have emergency numbers at your finger tips
• Keep the numbers on your Mobile and also separate, as the Mobile goes first in a robbery.
• Mark your home number clearly , so that emergency vehicles can find you ASAP.
• Know the nearest ‘Safety Zone’ in the areas you visit.
• If in doubt OR suspicious, always go to a point of safety.
• When passing an incident, don’t hang around, as it can be dangerous.
• Keep some deodorant in your vehicle, which can be sprayed in case of an emergency.
• Always know exactly where you are going, as getting lost could have you ending up in a dangerous place.
• Report crime….(Even if it seems useless…).

 

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website : http://www.stantgsm.com If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times, this refreshes the website.
The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel.

Click here to view the website : http://www.stantgsm.com Have a good , restful peaceful Shabbos, If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times which refreshes the website…… The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel. From Stan and the Clan. smookler@netactive.co.za PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate ) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!  Cell  082-4547860 Is your business in need of an innovative and professional website ? Please contact 082 898 6780 (Warren)