
Dear All,
We are still ‘under’ the weather, with dull dreary days, and quite a bit of rain still, BUT….not really cold….hope the weather is back to normal for the Sokka World Cup next month…..as most of the Tourists will be from Europe and the colder countries, and want sunny days…..??? Reckon Cape Town will be the best place to watch World Cup games for tourists, although Durban should be hotter…..
It was so hot in Miami, Mrs.Cohen almost died. ………..
Luckily a life guard opened her mink coat just in time. ………….
The Super 14 is ‘Tukka’ getting exciting, with virtually every match played last week, influencing the final play offs…has not been this close for years……The Stormers ‘Stormed’ in against the Crusaders, who did not look good At all, and Carter really had avery ordinary game, and the Crusader forwards were out of the game completely……They actually made the Stormers look brilliant……on that game’s form, I reckon the Stormers could take the Cup, and beat the ‘Mighty’ Bulls……..and the other contenders….only problem is they need Joe Peterson back at fullback, as ‘Aplonitjie’ is just to small……GR88888 to see such a BIG crowd…….The Bulls / Sharks game was another huge ‘Derby’ , and the crowd was also HUGE……and to see a HUGE crowd in Rainy conditions, is not truly Souff Effrikken…The Sharkies were taught a bit of a lesson in forward play and once they had subdued them, the line ran VERY well….The Brumbies made the Reds see RED most of the game….and played very good ‘Rugger’………
Got an e-mail from Peter Fine (Elgin Apples.. ’Amolikke Yoren’) he and a few other ‘Frunnes’ arranged with Rabbi Fox in Pretoria to have a ‘Shabbaton’ at the Shul, and slept over, and rushed to the Bulls game straight after ‘Shabbos’ in Taxi’s…….My ‘Big’ Chaver Israel Bender, Hugh Reichlin, (Chief) Stan Orelowitz and there ‘Kinderlach’ were among the ‘Manne’ that went…..Awesome ‘Shabbos’…….?????
The King David Linksfield ‘Rugger’ team returned from their tour to Oz last week, and had a GR8888 tour, winning all 3 games…..The first game against BoxHill Rugby Club U18, they won 32-5 in Melbourne…..Second game against BoxHill Rugby Club Opens they won 24-12. In Sydney they played Maccabi and won 11-0 .Main thing is that the ‘Manne’ had a GR8888 time, and got much needed experience…..Pictures http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php .Locally, I got an E-mail from Greg Hurwitz who is helping SAUJS (Souff Effrikken Union of Jewish Students) & Maccabi to arrange players for their various leagues….SAUJS has been around for a few years, BUT…Maccabi has just started, as they want to build a good ‘Rugger’ side for the next Maccabi Games ……SAUJS is in the Wits Inter faculty League & Maccabi in the Presidents league…..sooo many of the Good Yiddisher school players are lost after school, and they are trying to get them to join….Contact; Jon Isakow jonisakow@gmail.com ……Anyone interested in playing, supporting or sponsorship can contact Jonathan on 082 580 2009 or Greg on 079 875 4747
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down
when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so
glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church.
So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat.
What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said;
"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat." (Oey vey….)
The World 20/20 Cricket (Baseball) started in the West Indies, and I reckon, even though this is not ‘Suiwer’ (pure) Cricket, we must not expect toooooo much of the ‘Bokke’ as they just haven’t got the Shpielers in most departments, and when I read whole page write ups about Herschel Gibbs ‘gonna save us’….I realize how far behind we are……and a lot more Class has to come through with Gibbs, Kallis and Boucher (who have ALL given Gr8888 service) a bit long in the tooth, BUT….no real ‘finds’ coming through…..The India game was ‘KAK’..sooo many wickets and they leave till last minute..although we ‘Slagged’ (Sic) Afganistan, our Batsman were bogged down..Afganistan….????
The Engleeeeeesh Sokka league is Chelsea’s this year, and the loss of Ronaldo & Teves has cost Manchester big-time……….and if Man U are to stay dominant, they will have to get quite a few new, young, dynamic ‘shpielers’ with the ‘OLD’ boys, playing well, BUT……………….
How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings? .. Tell them a joke on Friday night!
DON'T MESS WITH FARM KIDS
A young boy comes down for breakfast.
Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
'Not yet,' said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a chicken.
When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the lambs, he kicks a lamb.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal?'
he asks.
'Well,' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the Lamb, so you don't get any lamb for a week either.
I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk.
'Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the kitten halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, 'you gonna tell him or should I?
The ‘Goldstone Barmy’ has come and gone, and I have not commented on the SAGA . It went well, with everyone on best behaviour, like it should have been…..With all the ructions worldwide, I am still E-mazed that not ‘ONE TOP’ communal member has not made a statement….yes, there have been terse statements….with no EXPLANATIONS, and the damage done to the Souff Effrikken ‘Yiddisher’ community as a whole, might NEVER be repaired, and when ‘OUR’ Manne speak in future, they will get no respect …!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have lost creditability…big time……. Read Alan Dershowitz’s ‘Angle’ on the ‘Barmy’ http://cgis.jpost.com/Blogs/dershowitz/entry/it_is_goldstone_who_is Today I sent a ‘Special’ bulletin, with all the follow ups, etc…that I printed out for the ‘Lazy’ & ‘Kaylikka’s’ A few links to the meeting held…
Zionist Fed Home Page: http://www.sazionfed.co.za/
Opening Statement from Avrom Krengel: http://www.sazionfed.co.za/pages/news-avromgoldstone1.htm
Opening Statement from Richard Goldstone: http://www.sazionfed.co.za/pages/news-avromgoldstone2.htm
COMMUNITY MEETING
GOLDSTONE SAGA: SOUTH AFRICAN ZIONIST FEDERATION REPORT-BACK
Avrom Krengel, chairman of the SAZF, will report back on the recent involvement of the SAZF with Judge Richard Goldstone
The meeting will take place on MONDAY 10 MAY at 19h30 at Beyachad, 2 Elray Street, Raedene
BOOKING ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL! NO ENTRY WITHOUT BOOKING!
Contact 011 645 2531 between 10h00 and 16h45; sazf@beyachad.co.za
The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.
One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.
'Hello...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'
For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?'
Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing;
'Vote for Madiba, vote for Mandela……
Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, 'Oh, thank you, G-d!
At least Dopey is still alive….
Next week is Yom Yerushalayim, and Rabbi Perez will be hosting a ‘Smooklersbord’ at the Sandton Shul, with a message from Solly Sacks from Yerushalayim…and of course Music, to get the evening in the right ‘Ruach’ (Gees) ……. The Smorgasbord’s have been E-mazing in the past, and it promises to be an evening of note…….All welcome…..Booking is essential; Lisa 011-645-2512 OR Cheryl 011- 640-9900…See http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Lag B’Omer was huge, with VERY big turnouts at the Communal functions at the Forest @ The great Park, and Torah Academy on Sunday, and the amount of Bonfire’s in Parks , closed out streets in the Shtetl (Glenhazel ) was good to see…..
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.
She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise,
"Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"
(Bittere Gelechte…).
Alan Dershowitz at AIPAC. This is surely a must for every ‘YID’ to watch... so share it also ! …. Not only a great speaker but very interesting points ……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG5nnIBbQsY&feature=related
One thing ‘OUR’ generation was taught from our leaders was ‘Scheichel’ (General Knowledge)…see this video and cry / laugh….not sure which one…
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=fJuNgBkloFE
The Cohen’s are not coming to Souff Effrikka for the Sokka, soooo they have two PRIME nights available at the Kruger Park…. 5th and 6th July that must sell….The booking can be transferred to another camp or another date . Contact them for further details at; einit66@gmail.com
Medical distinction between Guts and Baetzim (Balls)
There is a medical distinction . We've all heard about people having Guts or Baetzim.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BAETZIM - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death. (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah………).