Good Shabbos

GOOD SHABBOS
6 November 2008

Dear All,

The weather is ‘Tukka’ hot, and we are having a lot of Thunder /Lightening storms, which bring little relief , as they last for very little time, cause damage, and then it gets even hotter…….last week, quite a few of my Fascia boards on the roof were blown away………now to try & get them repaired………..

The Rugby in Hong Kong (Not Dubai) All Blacks V Aussies…..was a very hard match, BUT….gave both teams a bit of game time, which they really needed…….I reckon a draw would have been a good result, BUT….the Schvartzers won ……Richie Macaw will still go down as one of the greatest Flanks of all time….he is E-mazing………I do not think the All Blacks will white Wash the British Isle’s in the next few weeks, as they have lost tooooo many GR8 players, and have many injuries at the moment…..The Bokke take on Wales, and at this stage, I have no idea what will happen, as we are a mixed bunch at the moment, and without a TOP Fly half, could battle, BUT….we have depth in most positions and could just win a few of the games…….and of course we have to start putting together a GOOD team for the British Lions tour to the ‘Beloved Country’ next year…….The team picked is GR8888888, and if they cannot win, than no other ‘Combo’ will…..

Wat is dan die probleem met die SPRINGBOK – hy verteenwoordig mos die hele Suid Afrika. …………..Sy pens is wit, sy rug is bruin en sy poephol is swart!
(Self explanatory…don’t U wish you learnt better in your Afrikaans lessons..??)

“OUR” Protea’s (BOKS) ‘slagged’ Kenya in the 2 ODI games of cricket…..???
I suppose it was a bit of match practice….The Aussies really did the GR8 escape in drawing with India , and keeping the series alive…reminds me of when I was a ‘Lightie’ Amolikke Yoren and the best movie at the time was the Great Escape with Steve MacQueen and a host of other greats………I got a Internet version of the actual escape…quite interesting….. Click here: Tunnel Harry The last test will be a Cracker………….Last night we were supposed to play Bangledesh in a 20/20 and it just rained……and they used DUCKWORTH & we won …Oey vy…

In September, Comedian Chris Rock was interviewed on TV and when asked who he thinks will win the US presidency, he answered, "Obama".
The journalist then asked him, Why do you think Obama will win?
He replied:" This guy is from Kenya. Have you ever run a race with a Kenyan and won? "

Hier Kom die ‘Ali’ Obama Clan as predicted , and a new era starts…….or does it…..The local Black Souff Effrikkens are already calling him ‘ Our Brother’…??? Not sure how much Aid Darkest Effrikka can expect, as he has not ever even hinted about Effrikka…??? A GR8888 win, and I suppose it was time to get away from Bush & his Party, who have really messed up of late…..Not sure that Obama can do much in a hurray, as the USofA is in a mess at home, and has caused ‘Groot Kak’ around the World, soooo he might be bogged down trying to clear the mess and not have time to go forward for awhile…..and of course, no one has patience…….????

Last Thursday was the Rambam Trust (Yiddisher organization that lends ‘geld’ with no interest, and has helped many Yiddisher ‘Boytjies’ get going) had their Annual Golf Day Fundraiser at Sun City (Sin City-these days Bombay City)….and it was again a well organized, successful day . Michelle Gordon of Finer Details
http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/coord.html did the Co-ordination and it was spot on…Thanks to Michelle for sending me some pictures of the day……were some big ‘Knackers’ @ the Golf day, and it was enjoyed by all……Pictures
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

11 Ex-Pat Souff Effrikkens cycle 'The Great Ocean Road' last week.
The ride was a 450 kilometre trip over 3 days. The team flew from Sydney to Melbourne.Sam Ephron rented a bus and drove the guys down the coast for 6 hours to Portland. The team cycled back towards the Mornington Peninsular, spending two enjoyable night stops, with rest at motels on this spectacular coastal road. The website shows the Gr8 Ocean Road
http://www.visitmelbourne.com/displayobject.cfm/objectid.1283A740-17E0-4AB2-B12FDDBA419F5318/ Pictures of the Manne at ;
http://www.stantgsm.com/list_pics.php

Due to popular demand, I sent a parcel of Joke books up to Irvine, and it is now available from on the Internet http://www.africanhut.com/novelties-rugby-and-tshirts.asp as well…….@ $$$$ 4.99 what a steal….. African Hut has them in the store , PLUS a large range of Souff Effrikken ‘Gerichten’ and Tzatka’s www.africanhut.com The Garden Patch also has them………

Three Aussies were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
"Well not exactly," Bluey says.
"When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.
She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'
And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

SEARCHING FOR RELATED BERKOVER/BERKOWITZ FAMILY
Edna Janco (nee Berkover, daughter of Malka), living in Montreal, Canada, would like to make contact with related BERKOVER/BERKOWITZ family in Johannesburg/South Africa.
The Berkover family originated from the Jurburkas Shtetl in Lithuania ( half an hour from Kovno-Kanus). Edna’s grandparents ( circa 1800) were Ita (nee Goldstein) and Shimon Berkover. Of their 11 children, 7 survived the Holocaust and settled in various countries, including South Africa.
Edna’s contact details: Email address: djanco@videotron.ca
Home: (514) 487 6998………..Mobile: (514) 236 7654…This is a L-o-n-g time ago, BUT….maybe someone can assist…..?????

Jewish Quote du Jour
"The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish." ( Seriaaaaaaaaaaaaaas…)

The UJW’s (Union Of Jewish Women ) ‘Divas’ evening at Sandton last week was E-mazing, and they are also involved with a show at the Theatre On The Square (Nelson Mandela Square) Sandton City…..and the title is ; Does my Bum Wobble…whole lot of fun. See details at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ

A month in Plett….talk about Gan Eden……Beau Rivage 6-sleeper
Fully equipped Walking distance to the Beach 1Dec-31Dec
Asking R22 000 for the month Contact Kirsty 083 391 9600 / kirsty@netsense.co.za ..looks like a GR8 one……

'If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.'
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. (Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!

Sheryl in Melbourne will be staying home for Chanukah and has some GR8 Time share available to Rent at the PENINSULA Sea Point 6 SLEEPER SUPER LUXURY. Available from 19th Dec to either 26th or even 29th Dec
Contact Sheryl: info@comfortfirst.com.au Ido Gordon, (AKA Shleppers Inc) is still doing Shlepping for the ‘Yidden’ from die Ou Transvaal during the holiday season, and if you need to go anywhere, Ido is the man………Airport Shlepping specialist….. http://www.stantgsm.com/list_directory.php

Sarah Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing
south of Rome in Venice.
The liberal press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping
they will be able to allot minimal coverage, if any.
The Pope asks Governor Palin to join him on a Gondola ride through the
canals of Venice.
They're admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a
sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the
water.
The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole, but
this move threatens to overturn the floating craft.
Sarah waves the tour guide off, saying,
"Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."
She steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to
the Pope's hat, bends over and picks it up.? She walks back across the
water to the gondola and steps aboard.
She hands the hat to the Pope a mid stunned silence.
The next morning the topic of conversation among Democrats in Congress,
CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, CNN, the New York Times, Hollywood
celebrities, and in France and Germany is: "Palin Can't Swim."

Looks like ‘The Battle for Yiddisher Immigrants’ is ‘hotting’ up in the month of November , with various, Organizations and Private Immigration Lawyers coming to the ‘ Beloved Country in the next few weeks……..I have putt the various INFO brochures at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php
From Sydney , is coming a representative of Project Sydney , who assist ‘Yiddisher’ people to move to Sydney, in all spheres that NEW settlers need……
From Melbourne comes the Team from Mount Scopus College who will assist with lots of Info on Schooling, Housing etc, and are bringing with Colin Adno to assist on the Legal Immigration policy……
Ian Singer from Sydney will also be in town, and has vast experience…He reckons; Why look further than Australia….????

From Australia comes Farrel Savitz who does Immigration assistance for ALL people interested……….Push his Website for very up to date info…..
On the letter ; http://www.mcamigration.co.za/Overseas-Trip.asp
The Aussie recruitment ‘GUYS’ have pointed out MANY times to me that they welcome inquiries from ‘Yidden’ from around the Wolrd who are looking for the Aussie way of life, soooo even if you are in ‘Alle Drerden af un Dek’ (Bundu – Timbuktu) drop them an E-mail……they do immigration from around the World..

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of E-mazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'

Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said
'I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!'

Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey!
There's a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'What's his name?' Mick replies 'Miles from London!'

Have my ‘OLD’ Stan & Pete waiter Mitch Berenson coming from ‘LA’ in the USofA….and he can assist with the Free Green Card Draw also…….who knows, once Obama takes over, it might be the place to go……??? I am sure that most of you have seen the Temple’s advert in America which hints that the ‘Yidden’ must vote for the ‘ Black Man’ (won’t use the ‘Yiddisher’ slang…)…..Just click on Mitch’s website on the Main letter……..
Grant Kaplan will also be coming will be coming from ‘Boca’ to also consult on Immigration to the USofA…all these ‘Boytjies’ are ex Pats, and have wide experience in Immigration matters.. www.american-immigration-lawyer.com

HYMIE COHEN WAS ON THE PARK BENCH DOWNTOWN NEW YORK
ABE WALKS UP AND NOTICES THAT HYMIE IS THROWING FRESH CROISANTS TO THE PIDGEONS .
''HEY HYMIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?''
''I AM FEEDING DA BOIDS FELLA CAN'T YOU SEE?''.
''SURE I CAN'' SAYS ABE, ''BUT DON'T YOU KNOW DERE ARE STARVING PEOPLE IN AFRICA ?
''SURE I KNOW BUT I CAN'T THROW THAT FAR !''

Got an E-mail from an ‘Ou,Ou ‘ Chaver in Perth. Alan Oberstein, one of the first Video guys on the Simcha scene in the late ‘70’s….Alan is in Perth and still does videoing, and has just started a new venture hiring out ‘PROPER’ digital camera’s for Simcha’s instead of those dreaded ‘Kodak’ paper throw aways, that give poor quality pictures; see website for details www.digital-memories.com.au His ‘Logo’ is ; 'Your guests become your photographers.' Really ‘Lekker’ hearing from old Simcha ‘wekkers’ from around the world……..

Ex-President Mbeki meets with Zuma and Julius Malema (ANC Youth Balabos) on the 8 Floor of Luthuli House. Zuma asks Mbeki,
"Honourable Ex-President, why do you treat my supporters so badly?

"Well," says Mbeki, "your supporters are STUPID"
Zuma frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really stupid?"
Mbeki sighs and says. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to do a simple task."

Like this. "Julius please go down to the reception on the ground floor and check if Zuma and I are there?"
Malema runs off like a puppy to please his master to the ground floor.
Returns 7 mins later tired and panting.
"No my baas you both are not there

Mbeki smiles. "See what I mean"
Zuma acknowledges" This silly Shmo should have used the lift" (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaah…)
I reckon the difference between 1st World & 3rd World countries is HUGE, in fact ‘HUMUNGOUS’ ….the Electioneering in the USofA is soooo up market, and of course soooo much ‘geld’ is spent……..when one looks at this past weekend in the ‘Beloved Country’… Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah……all that seems to happen here is that each lot calls the other a bunch of traitors, with no clear policy statements from either side…….Politics has always been a ‘dirty’ business, BUT….back home it is a bit of a Circus………I still believe that the breakaways are making a mistake, and will not feature, once JZ and his ‘Chommies’ tighten the screws……maybe the only positive is that the ANC might not pick JZ to run the country and stick with Mothlanthe…….???? Only time will tell……Two weeks ago I mentioned that it was the ‘Xmas’ Gunovim time …and this week they blew up a Cash in Transit truck ‘In its MOER in’……and did not get the ‘geld’, BUT….the blown up truck tells the tale…….and then they drove a fe Beeeee Emmm’s (BMW) into the Clearwater Mall in Roodeport, cleaned out 5 Jewelery shops and drove of in their Beee Emmm’s….I reckon that the Cops will nail a lot this Season, and maybe slow it down…..??? after all we are going thru’ a Financial crisis and there is less ‘Geld’ around…..
Here is the first quote from President Bush on the Financial crisis :

President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these bank closings.
If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said. (Yislaaaaaaaaaik….)

On Lehman Bros: He said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers. His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy. ( Oey vy)

Was chatting to some of the ‘Manne’ at SASFIN, and they reckon the ‘Mighty Rand’ could stay as low as R10-$$$$ for quite awhile before strengthening …this will of course keep the Petrol price high, although Petrol has come down drastically…beggars can’t be choosers and Petrol came down 45cents a Litre this week…….BUT….as they say, what goes down, must come up….??????
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
This Financial roundup brought to you by TAXRELAX www.taxrelax.co.za

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

A video clip on French / Israeli flights from ‘Amolikke Yoren’….
http://www.road90.com/watch.php?id=V8B8RekAJJ

Got an E-mail from an ex Zim-BOB-Wian, Debbie Rappoport now living in San Diego, California who is the Marketing Coordinator for Soille San Diego Hebrew Day School – an Orthodox school serving children in Preschool through 8th grade. Debbie wanted Souff Effrikkens to now that there is a TOP rate ‘Yiddisher’ school in San Diego, if you are thinking of sending the ‘Kinderlach’ overseas or going to stay in San Diego …..the website is very interesting and you can always drop them an E-mail for more info rappos@pacbell.net ….Debbie says there are quite a few ex Pats at the school….. http://www.hebrewday.org

The good ‘ol Matric Exams have started, and of course all the Kinderlach are ‘Platzing’…BUT …it will soon be over, and my Nephew ‘Chaim Der Arbeter’
( Mr Figit) seems to be taking it in his stride………

This Sunday is the Memorial service for the Late Colbert Kwinda, (Head Waiter at Stan & Pete ). The memorial will be held for all his ‘Yiddisher’ friends and others, as the Funeral was at his home in Durban. The get together will be at the Kilarney Country Club (Old TAC) at 2.30 on Sunday afternoon ( 9th. November )……all are welcome to pay their respects………it starts at 2.30 SHARP and the Chief Rabbi will be present and opening the afternoon…..it is a casual get together to pay respect to the family of the Late Colbert Kwinda, and will not be ‘Stiff Affair’, more a friendly get together…..I have had many E-mails from around the World, from Waiters , Clients etc and he will be sorely missed……………..” Mr Goldberg” a man for all season’s………… See U there…………

FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……

Mazeltov to Lee (Mendelsohn ) and Adam Berkowitz on the birth of their son last week….Mazeltov to Doc Les & Linda Berkowitz and to Ami & Steve Mendelsohn………. Lots of Mazel to the Families…..

Mazeltov to Lara (Schwabsky-ex Pretoria) & Yoav Tchelet…..on the birth of their daughter this week…..Mazeltov to Chava & Israel Tchelet & Bobba & Zaida Joel & Renee Schwabsky and to GR8 Grandparents Marge & Jacky Isaacson…..Renee was my first wedding in Pretoria over 30 years ago…Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’ and especially to Israel Tjelet (money in Funny galore African language)……

The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;

End of year time, brings extra burdens on security…..

Be very careful on the roads as the amount of ‘Shikerer’ drivers increases,,,

Shopping Malls become favourite spots for Pick pockets & general ‘Gunovim’

ATM’s are a sitting target, soooo only try and access in Shops, Malls etc during the day, and if at night, only use if you have to….

Never accept assistance from strangers…rather walk away….

Always keep your Password hidden, when entering it…

If the ATM has been tampered with, do NOT use…..

The ‘Kinderlach’ that go to Clubs, beware of spiked drinks….

Be Street WiZe ……………..

Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.

Click here to view the website :

http://www.stantgsm.com
Have a good , restful peaceful Shabbos,

If you cannot see the latest letter or Meisa’s, just press F5 a few times which refreshes the website……

The Joke Book is no more available on the website, soooooo get to your Yiddisher store and get the Book…Available in the ‘Beloved Country’ (Joburg, Cape Town and Durban)…..Melbourne, Toronto and Ranana(fontein) in Israel.

From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za

PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers ( Corporate )
and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell 082-4547860

Is your business in need of an innovative and professional website?
Please contact RAW Media Concepts on: Tel- (+27 11 796 6671) | www.rawmedia.co.za

The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….

CLICK HERE Also now available in Irvine at the African Hut www.africanhut.com

Parsha of The Week

Give Me the Soul
By Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’

The weekly Parshah is enlivened these days with the arrival of Abraham on the Biblical scene. Our founding father brings new life to the world as he spreads the message of monotheism in a hitherto pagan society. He also shows his prowess as a fearless fighter for justice and puts his own life on the line to save his nephew, Lot, when Lot is taken captive in the world war of the day.
It was after Abraham rescued his nephew that the King of Sodom thanked Abrahamfor liberating the other prisoners of war--the king's soldiers and citizens--at the same time. The king offers Abraham the spoils of war and asks only to have his men back.Ten li hanefesh, he says. Give me the people, and take the possessions for yourself.

Twenty-five years ago, I heard a powerful and passionate call by my saintly mentor, the Rebbe of blessed memory. It was Simchat Torah, the festival Yom Tov when we celebrate the gift of Torah in a spirit of boundless joy. He had appealed for charity to be given in the same heightened spirit, i.e. beyond normal limitations or the usual budgetary considerations. Later, he explained his call to have been one of Ten li hanefesh, which, literally, means give me the soul. It was a special moment and what he was demanding of his followers was a genuine outpouring of soul, a sincere act of pure faith, beyond reason or issues of affordability. The Rebbe had called for a total, unconditional commitment.

The call, Give me the soul still reverberates. And it applies to everything we do. We are all composites of body and soul. But more often than not, our physical selves get all the attention while our spiritual side is neglected. How many times do we hear Jews, especially young Jews, complaining that Judaism lacks spirituality; that their synagogues and temples are devoid of any real feeling or atmosphere of sanctity? And then we bemoan them trekking off to the Himalayas to find purpose, depth and all the things we never gave them.

How many Bar Mitzvahs and weddings have been reduced to empty shells of materialistic one-upmanship with friends and neighbors compelled to outdo each other in garish extravagances, which miss the whole point of what the celebration is about?

And G-d calls out, Give me the soul! Give me back what is mine. Put some spirit back into Judaism. Enough with the Mickey Mouse routines and rituals, the song and dance gimmicks. Get beyond the external and the plastic. Give me some soul!

When our faith is superficial we look as foolish as the pathetic thief described in the Talmud. The thief, at the mouth of the tunnel, calls out to G-d. Here is a goniff, a lowly criminal, about to enter the tunnel he has dug to rob a bank, but before he goes in, he prays to G-d for success. What a chutzpa! He is about to violate G-d’s express command not to steal and has the audacity to still ask G-d to help him do the job?!

But such is the effect of superficiality. He has faith, our Talmudic thief. It just hasn’t penetrated. Because this shallow pseudo-religiosity hasn’t permeated his inner being, he is blissfully unaware of the hypocrisy of his actions. So what’s wrong with stealing and praying at the same time?

The truth is that we all believe, even the thieves among us. The challenge is for the penny to drop; for that faith to reach into our core, to touch our souls. Let us heed the call, Ten li hanefesh -- Give me the soul. Let us move beyond superficial Judaism to something deeper, profound and real which will touch our own souls and inspire our children.

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