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GOOD SHABBOS
7 April 2009 |
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Dear All,
The weather is a ‘Meichel’ and things in Joburg has dried up from the Rainy Summer we had……and it should rain a bit over Pesach, as it always seems to do……why should this year be different…….?????
Want to wish everyone a Good Yomtov, and may Pesach be restful for all ‘Yidden’ worldwide……The next letter will only be on the 23rdApril, the day after the ANC and JZ come in strongly…….never mind the ‘Bobbameises’ that it will be a smaller majority etc….this could be their last clear win, as next time, we could see a totally different set up, with more citizens being disillusioned….. Please, note that you can always access the letter and ‘Meisa’s’ at www.stantgsm.com
Being a Yomtov and Pesach, I have used Yomtovdikke jokes….BUT after 10 years, the Jokes about Pesach are getting a bit stale……..very few NEW ‘Pesachdikke’ jokes…….
Abe was talking to his best friend Chaim. "Don’t tell anyone, Chaim, but mine Rachel once again had a headache last night."
"Really?" said Chaim.
"Yes," replied Abe, "it’s been like this for some weeks now and I’ve been thinking that they must have named a Jewish holiday after my sex life."
"Which one?" Chaim asked.
"Passover."
The ‘Rugger’ Super 14 is starting to improve, with better play as the teams start trying to qualify for the finals….and the 5 teams that I said would be there for the final are all there….and I must admit that poor PDV ( Pieter De Villiers) the coach is going to have a tough time selecting a winning combination, as quite a few of the main Manne are just not performing, like Schalk Burger, Juan Smit, Fourie Du Preez etc…..Jaque Fourie has been GR8888 and there all of a sudden seem to be a lot of centers available…… The Lions tour should be a GR888 happening, even with the Drek 20/20 competition taking place just before……Really sad that the Brumbies Lock Shawn Mackay passed away after being knocked down at 3.00 am in the morning outside a Night Club / Bar….really puts a damper on the ‘beloved Country’ and highlights the poor regards for pedestrians by drivers…….they are trying to start a demerit system, BUT….I fear it will only really ‘Klap’ law abiding citizens, and the Kamikaze taxi drivers will continue……un hindered…..
Ariel Sharon comes to Washington for meetings with George W. for the State Dinner. Laura decides to bring in a special Kosher Chef and have a truly Jewish meal.
At the dinner that night, the first course is served and it is Matzo Ball soup. George W. looks at this and after learning what it is called, he tells an aide that he can't eat such a gross and strange-looking brew.
The aide says that Mr. Sharon will be insulted if he doesn't at least taste it. Not wanting to cause any trouble (after all, he ate sheep's eye in honor of his Arab guests), George W. gingerly lowers his spoon into the bowl and retrieves a piece of matzo ball and some broth. He hesitates, and then swallows and a grin appears on his face. He finds that he really likes it and digs right in and finishes the whole bowl. "That was delicious," he says to Sharon.
"Do the Jews eat any other part of the Matzo, or just the balls?"
( That old saying..’Vos Vies a Goy Vun Lokshen’ ??? comes to mind…….)
Oy, the ‘Bokke’ were really dismal at the Wanderers for the first ODI against the Aussies and were taken out quite easily, even with ‘OUR’ Captain Coutagous’ playing…..E-mazed to see a full house which bodes well for the 20/20 competition…..Methinks they will battle to get good attendances , besides the Main games in the bigger centers……The second ODI at Centurion , also a sellout was ‘Tukka’ a ‘Lekker Klap’, and the Aussies were given a good lesson, and that helps the series…which should really be exciting…..
Tomorrow, see the Sun rise in a special position, once in 28 years, at Yeshiva College @ 6.30. See http://www.stantgsm.com/list_info.php “ Birchas HaChama”
http://www.stevens.edu/golem/llevine/sun_1897.pdf see what happened over a 100 years with this viewing……..! ! ! ! ! !
Remember the Selwyn / Segal SASFIN Quiz at the Sandton Sun on the 3rd of June…… E-mazing evening, BUT…also a Seriaaaaas attempt to raise money for Selwyn Segal.
Abe is in a restaurant, calls over the waiter and asks, “Oy, do you have matzoh balls?”
“No,” replies the waiter, “I always walk like this.”
How is a good sermon like a piece of matza?
They both should take less than 18 minutes!
Why do we say Yizkor on the last day of Passover? What's the connection?
On Passover, we remember the Exodus. After Yizkor, in most shuls, there is also a mass Exodus!
Got an E-mail about an ex Pat Souff Effrikken, Jeff Lazarow who has written a book in San Diego…..the E-mazing thing is that Jeff was at Highlands North High a year ahead of me, and was a fine ‘Rugger’ player, playing Loose forward,
And to get this story after 35 years…. Log onto Jeff’s website @
www.jeffreylazarow.com and for those who would like to contact an old Aquilian (Highlands Old Boy)……. jeffreyl@gavinl.com
On the lighter side,
Three old yids go for supper, and Abe says to Hymie, What’s with the salad,??
Solly’s paying, have a steak. I can’t he answers; I left my false teeth at home.
Abe throws a few sets of false teeth on the table.
Hymie finds one that fits, and has the biggest steak in the house.
When he finishes, he gives a mighty “GREPPS”, and says, So Nu Abe, what are you??
A dentist ?? No. A grave digger.
Back home in the ‘Beloved Country’ things could not be better (worse..??) for the MAJORITY, as their ‘Balabos’ has been miraculously, let off all charges and as we go forward, will be told over and over again , how this poor (??) man and his best Chaver (Shabby Schaik) were persecuted , by the former ‘Manne’ from the Ministry, and that JZ was never actually found guilty, and we should give him the benefit of the doubt….Three years ago, I wrote that he would be NEVER be charged, and I must again say, that he cannot be worse than what we have had…??? BUT…that does not mean that it is OK to get off , without going to court….in the waiting are all the other Gunovim, who most probably will also get off like Judge Hlophe, Motola and of course Shabby Schaik’s release from jail because he was about to snuff it, are all things of the past, and we can now go forward with confidence knowing that a new SERIES of Gunovim are about to be exposed, BUT….they will never be taken to task, and I am afraid to say; How much ‘Geld’ has we got for these ‘Mumzers’ to Gunnif, before we are totally ‘Bankrot ’????. Next years Sokka 2009 is around the corner, and I am sure that plenty of ‘Bribery’ cases are going to come up, and of course the ‘Gautrain’ already has sooooo many less than ‘Eppes’ deals exposed…….
Viagra is banned during Pesach, along with all other agents causing things to rise.
How did Passover get its name?
Since the Seder table is usually made larger, people can't reach for the items on the table and invariably ask others: "Could you please Pass Over the matza, etc."!
When one looks at virtually every Government department, there is a story, and I reckon that ‘Noseweek’ are going to be very busy with all this ‘Gunavis’.. You can always access Noseweek @ www.noseweek.co.za ..guys like Selebi, Agliotti etc, will most probably also never get put away….. ???
A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, "what did you learn today?"
He answered, "The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt."
"How ?"
The boy said "Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharaoh up.
Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea.
When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge.
Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross."
The father was shocked. "Is that what the Rabbi taught you?"
The boy replied, "No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!"
Telfed, the Israeli / Souff effrikken connection are trying to contact the family members of Sidney Charles Joffe and Bernard Moshe Joffe – the surname could be spelt in any number of versions.” Kindly contact Tzippi at e-mail tzippi@telfed.org.il or toll free phone – 0800-997-495 at ext. 205.
Chasing after Moses, the Pharaoh came to the shore of the parted Red
Sea, cast his eyes toward the heavens and asked God, "Lord, may we
also cross?" God replied, "Sure, Pharaoh. I don't see why not.
The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers swears the walls are secure and it won't
flood."
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A Heavy Transport Drivers strike started today, and motorists should keep vehicles full, in case petrol runs dry…nice time over the Easter weekend…??
Did MANY ‘Locum’s’ the past two weeks, and the amount of Simcha’s in Joburg was E-mazing, trying to beat the Pesach / Sfirah shut down……..as after pesach Simcha’s dry up till June……..and of course it is Winter, which slows things down more…. Gib a Kuk @ some of the Simcha’s..’Shein wie de Weld’ (Lekker)…….
Moishe Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made.
When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Moishe explained.
"We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth."
The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"
Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.
The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover.
That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?"
"Vell to tell you the truth, once in a while I like a Ham sandwhich….." (Oey vy…..)
David just discovered a new radio station broadcasting from Jerusalem in English at: http://www.rustymikeradio.com/. It has just started and I think you will enjoy it. I have been listening this evening and it has a lovely mix of Israeli music as well as contemporary modern. If you have speakers on your PC, give it a try and feel the atmosphere of Israel.
FOR the MOST ‘Jacked up’ Yiddisher Wedding registry, ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ;
www.lechaim.co.za ………….Run by Young Yiddisher ‘Boychix’ ……
Mazeltov to Caryn ( Zaidel) & Craig Sher on the birth of their Princess Noa Ella last week…. Mazeltov to the grandparents Brian & Marcelle Sher & jenny and Myron Zaidel…..To the Great Grandparents, Natie & Sandy Sher and Fanny Kruger…..Mazeltov…. Craig is a Actuary at Discovery and Myron is of course the ‘Balabos’ of Soviet Jeans with his ‘Boeties’….Mazeltov to Uncle Solly & Charlene , who are in Sydney for Pesach….Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…………
Mazeltov to Barry and Merle Beder, on a ‘Laaaaaaaaaaaaat’ Lamietjie….they had a baby girl , after three ‘Boychicks’…….Mazeltov and much ‘Yiddisher’ Nachus……Barry runs the Tiberius ‘Kosher’ Fish Shoppe in the Shetl (Sandringham Kosher Strip)…..and his Mom Maureen ran Maureens Caterers at the HOD ‘Amolikke Yoren’……….Mazel, Mazel , Mazel & Mazel…………..
Mazeltov to the Want family who are ecstatic on the birth of a Girl in the family
Jessica Want is the beautiful daughter of Greg and Tracey Want
She is the first girl in the Want family in 47 years ! ! ! Mazeltov to Great Grandparent Russel and Jackie Want, and my late Parents Reuben and
Helen Klass (my Dad's boet is Maxie from the Butchery in the Sandringham
strip ) . Both Stan and I are ecstatic with our new princess ! ! Stan Want was at Highlands and Adele does ‘Simcha’ decorations….Mazeltov to the whole family….
Mazeltov to Gregg ( Cohen) and Ronli (Miller) on their engagement tonight …..
Gregg is the Zunnelle of Dennis & Beverley Cohen, my ‘old’ Stan & Pete Partner, and GOOD Chaver……..Time flies…I was at Gregg’s Bris…..Amolikke Yoren…..and to Ronli’s parents Brian & Helene (Lemmer) Miller, Mazeltov…to the many Grandparents a special Mazeltov to ‘ Zaida ‘Archie Cohen ……Mazeltov and have much ‘Nachus’ from the couple…..Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha,…. E-mazing how Gregg and Brett (below) grew up together, and are sharing Simcha’s…..
Mazeltov to Rikki (Hurwitz) & Brett Ginsberg on their wedding in Sydney last week….both families are ex Joburg, and I know them both very well…… Jeff was in the meat business back home…….and his Dad and Uncle Cyril and Monty were Bull Brand in those days, and I hear Jeff’s the ‘Banana Bread Man of Oz’………and of course ‘Lange Loksh’ Freddie Ginsberg was one of the ‘Manne’ in his school days, and his Mom went to school with my Mom….My Boet worked with Fred and his Late father Eric in the furniture trade for a few years….. Fred’s Boet Brian was also near me in Sandton , and his Zunnelle Jarrod was in my lift scheme ….. Mazeltov to the parents Karen & Jeff Hurwitz and Freddie & Dianne Ginsberg….and the whole ‘Mishpocha’.. Pictures at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
Mazeltov to Melissa Taryn, daughter of Mervyn and Lynette Kahn (San Diego), ex-Middelburg and Cape Town, and Eric Seth, son of the late Don and Elaine Kurtzman, on their engagement during a family vacation in Hawaii on March 26, 2009. Eric proposed to Melissa in a surprise proposal in the presence of 18 family members he had invited to Hawaii for a vacation.
Melissa is the grand-daughter of the late Bennie Kessler and Anita Kessler, and Julius and the late Sonia Kahn.Both Melissa and Eric are from Los Angeles. ..
Mazeltov to the whole ‘Mishpocha’…both Melissa & Eric are VERY learned people…. Melissa is a corporate restructuring lawyer, and an adjunct professor at Loyola University School of Law, and Eric, also a Lawyer, was awarded the Ernst and Young 'Entrepreneur of the Year' award in June, 2008
A teacher said to her class – “Who was the greatest man who ever lived?
The pupil who answers this question will receive this large apple!”
A little Italian boy raised his hand and said – “Columbus”.
Then an Irish kid said – “St Patrick.”
The Epstein boy lifted his hand and said “ JC – (Yoshke.) !”
The teacher was E-mazed. She called him to her desk, handed him the apple and asked – “ Chaim you don’t believe in JC, so why did you say he was the greatest man who ever lived?”
“Actually,” said Chaim , “I think Moses was a much greater man but business is business.”……..
The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm
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Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…
From Stan and the Clan.
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The ‘Stan The Good Shabbos’ Joke Book is now available at Major Bookstores around the ‘Beloved Country’ and also on Kalahari.net …sooo get yours, and eventually when I have recovered my outlay, I can consider a second book….
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Please remember that the VORT comes in after the sign off, and is a self standing item…
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Parsha of The Week |
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“THE EGG IN EXODUS”
Rabbi Yossy Goldman
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
B”H
At Pesach Seders around the world, one of the items on the seder plate will be a simple hardboiled egg. I would like to spend a moment on what we learn from this egg, how it truly encapsulates what Pesach is all about and what message it has for us today.
One of the reasons we have the egg at the seder is because it symbolises the beginning of life and Pesach marks the very beginning of our national existence. But it’s more exact than that. The egg reflects the precise position of the Jewish people at the time of the Exodus from Egypt.
Let’s look at the journey of our egg. The egg is first inside the hen. It is then laid and thereby freed from the constraints previously imposed upon it. But has the egg been hatched? Has a little chick emerged from the shell yet? The answer is no. The egg, you see, is only potential life. It is not yet a living being. One day, please G-d, a chick will emerge and the cycle of life will continue.
When the Jewish People left Egypt they were just like that – an unhatched egg. Free from the prison of Egypt and the constraints of slavery – but they weren’t quite fully born. It would take seven weeks for them to stand at the foot of Mount Sinai and experience the great revelation of G-d and receive the Torah. Only when we were given a way of life did the Jewish people receive a purpose in life. Until Sinai, we were all dressed up with nowhere to go.
So, at Pesach we emerged from the confines of Egypt like the egg that drops out of the hen. But only at Sinai were we hatched, were we born properly. The message for us? Political freedom without spiritual freedom is an unhatched egg, incomplete. We may have been free and unfettered, but we were still spiritually lost and morally confused.
Who better than we in South Africa understand this message? We have, thank G-d, achieved political freedom in our beloved country. We’ve had 14 years of democracy with free and fair national elections. Everyone had a chance to cast their vote. But the fact is that most of our population is still as impoverished as they were before. Yes, many more now have access to water, electricity and housing, but for the majority of the majority, their lives have been unaffected.
Worse still, new freedoms bring new cultures, new lifestyles and sadly, new decadence. Gone are old tribal values and in its place is the empty, materialistic Western worship of all that is new and glitzy.
We may be free from the oppression of the past but we haven’t yet been provided with a coherent, wholesome infrastructure to help direct our aspirations.
So, freedom itself is only half the story. What we do with our freedom – that is the question. We need a purpose in life and we need a moral, spiritual infrastructure to help guide is in life. Otherwise, we wander aimlessly through the wilderness and our freedom remains undeveloped potential.
Let’s not be unhatched eggs – let us use our freedom wisely and achieve all our aspirations. Let us realise that Pesach is but the beginning. Now we must consult the Torah to discover how to take maximum advantage of that freedom.
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