GOOD SHABBOS 29 7 2010.
Dear All,
The weather is improving and I reckon by the time the Tri nations moves to the ‘beloved Country’ it will be as hot as hell already……as the competition finishes a week before Yomtov, at the beginning of September…..
The Triple was completed this weekend against the Aussies……3 Losses and 3 send offs in the first 10 mins. in the 2010 Tri nations, and methinks that this must be some kind of record, and there is going to be a lot of shouting, accusing and blaming….and of course, that PDV should go……..when I wrote that he was taking over a E-mazing bunch of players from the Jake ( the fake) White era, and it was a matter of time before the ‘White Magic’ would dissolve, and PDV would either have had to produced his own ‘Black Magic’ OR he would be out….are we at this point……???? I am sure he will be around for a bit longer, unless he gets the ‘Snorr’ itching to have a go at all & sundry……..and say the wrong things…
And of course the POOOOOR Refs are getting a roasting also……
ALCOHOL TEST
A gendarme in Paris pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.
He approached the car window and said …
"Monsieur, I need you to blow into this breathalyser".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note. On it is written:
"This man suffers from chronic asthma…
Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath ".
The gendarme said "Oui monsieur, then I need you to come and give a blood sample.”
The man produced another letter. This one said: "This man is a haemophiliac.
Please do not cause him to bleed in any way ".
So the officer said: "Then I will need a urine sample, sil vous plait".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket.
It read: “This man plays rugby for Souff Effrikka. Please don't take the ‘pish’… out of him."
The game was soooo disappointing, with the Boks playing much worse than against the All Blacks, and just plain & simply losing the plot……our defensive play which has been soooo good was non existent and the amount of lack luster tackles was frightening….and of course ‘OUR’ strongpoint…the line outs was ‘kak’…no other way to describe it….not sure what has happened to that dynamic Super 14 Shpieler Spies, but….he NEVER featured in all 3 games…..our running options were not taken, and how many of our ‘manne’ were tackled and lost the ball in the tackle….that shows lack of training and planning…..very difficult to find one single player who really stood up on this dismal 3 match tour……On the Aussie performance…not sure they played much better, BUT….showed signs of brilliance in the backs a few times….
Tri nations prediction; The Schvartzers to beat Oz in Melbourne……brought to you by
Springbok Pharmacy.
Why did ‘PDV’ go to a ball dressed as a pumpkin? ………………
Because he hoped when the clock struck midnight he would turn into a coach.
The SARB is taking SASOL the off the BOKS. When the BOKS asked what they would do without them the SARB replied “ Use donkeys like all the other losers.”
This past weekend was the 702 / Discovery ‘Walk The Talk’ and it has grown in a huge race, with 50,000 competing, mostly doing it for the fun of it, and the Chevra and Yad Aharon have been using the occasion to raise much needed funds, and many ‘Yidlach’ were at the race….They actually attempted to break the World T-Shirt record by asking the walkers to wear their branded tea shirts in certain colours……….E-mazing organization goes into arranging the morning, BUT…..it causes Chaos on the roads around that part of town (Greenside ,Emmerentia, Marks Park etc)…..pity those that had to get to the ‘Dead Centre’ of town (West Park) on Sunday …………..
A poor Jewish family in Russia living in a miserable shack with a dirt floor happened to have some butter one day for their bread.
The father buttered his slice and it promptly feel on the floor - butter side up.
Now everyone in the village knew that when a peasant's buttered bread falls down, it always fall butter side down. What could this mean?
They went to the rabbi who stroked his chin, pondered for a while and then said
"Come back tomorrow. I will consult with my books and tell you"
The next day the whole village assembled to hear from the Rabbi.
"Well, my children" he said, "He buttered the wrong side!" (Oey vey….).
My ‘OLD’ Chaver Alan is looking for some of his relatives; Carol and Janette Weil – daughters of Solly & Ray Weil previously lived in Joburg . Carol married Ted Goldstein in Joburg before leaving the country close to 40 years ago ….not sure where they are, BUT….I am sure that someone must be in contact with them somewhere……???? alanweil@gmail.com
A few definitions…some GR88888 ones …………..
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on …
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life .. ( 100%)
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature
Daniel Lazar has an Warehousing, distribution & storage facility in OZ, and offers ‘heimlach’ service to companies from the ‘Beloved Country’ ….Daniel will answer all questions on Trade with you, so ‘Gib A Kuk’ for further info….
http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php
With end of the year Matric dances starting sooooon, time to get in the swing, and Bride & Co offers E-mazing outfits for HIRE , shoes etc….. http://stantgsm.com/simcha/bridal.html and you save big-time, and they also offer a GR88888 Limo service……. For those who want to brush up on their Dance routine, contact Glenda, who will take you from two ‘left feet’ to a Ballroom dancer… Glenda; 011-802-3176 see http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Seuntjie aan ma: "Ek wil graag 'n boetie hê vir Kersfees!"
Ma: "Daar is te min tyd daarvoor my kind."
Seuntjie: "Maak dan soos Pappa by sy fabriek doen, en sit meer manne op die job!!!!!"
Went to Andy (Milner) & Ryan’s wedding last week at the sandton Shul, and the Chuppah and Simcha were there….The Chuppah was superb, with Miash (Preskow) and the Choir assisting Chazzan Alter very well….Avron was in top form, and the Chuppa set the mood for an E-mazing Simcha….The pre dinner Buffet, was exceptional, and more than a good meal in itself, and the décor was superb…Gideons really did a magnificent job, and every details was taken care of….The Zenith Band weere gr8888888, with the Kallah Andy doing a few numbers with them, and of course ‘Little Stan Greenberg’ with ‘Mustang Sally’ provided such Ruach to the evening…. Ryan, is my ‘Old’ Partner & CHAVER Dennis’s Zunnelle, and as I said last week, I can ‘Tukka’ say I was at his Bris 32 years ago………WOW, we have come along was , and Dennis Boet Lester was here from Seattle, and he was also a Stan & Pete waiter 25 years ago….met old Chavers Sheila & Arthur Talkins who came from Toronto to be at the simcha…..
Ryan’s sister Jodi also came from Toronto, and the Kawalsky’s from Sydney, and many more from all over….Had such a ‘Lag’ with the Toronto guests, as they said I would put from Tooo-Run- Tooo which I did not…must say Tooo-Run-Tooo sounds and means much more than Doorn Kop (Thornhill) -there local ‘Yiddisher’ suburb……..See pictures at; http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
Why are women like clouds? …. Eventually they go away and it's a really nice day.
What's the difference between light and hard? …. You can sleep with a light on.
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a Kit Kat Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a Kit Kat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal Kit Kat, you are ‘Chunky’.' (Oey vey..)
I was at an ATM when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'my mother-in-law is an angel’
The reply from his friend......’you’re sooooooo lucky...Mine's still alive...' (Mmmm)
Muster some sympathy for the dilemma of the out-of-work stripper: ……
all undressed and no place to show …………….
Like to Welcome ‘OUR’ latest sponsors/advertisers, CHIVAS REGAL, who have added a touch of elegance to the Simcha Guide………………. http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm If you click on their Chivas Ad on the letter, you can see some real quality CHIVAS whisky……….as I have mentioned many times in the past 10 years, when I started doing Simcha’s in the early 70’s, Chivas was the Whisky for the ‘Manne’ and of late, is starting to take back their place, as a GR88888888 Simcha whisky……..
The Stan & Pete Winter ‘SMOOKLERSBORD’ was an E-mazing evening, with some Seriaaaaaaaaaaas ‘GraZe’ on offer……….the place was packed, and the ‘Yidden’ enjoyed the evening, and I reckon that it will be quite awhile before the next one, as the next few months is very busy ‘Simcha WiZe’….. Pictures at;
http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.
"Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hotdogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously: "What part did you get? (Einaaaaaaaaaah..)
Next week, I will be away for a few days, soooooo NO Shabbos Letter on the 5th. August, BUT…..when I come back, it is full steam ahead for Yomtov and the 10th. Anniversary ‘Yomtov Bletter’ to mark the occasion…….all those that would like to put an AD or greeting for the 10th. Anniversary, don’t be shy, just send me an E-mail smookler@netactive.co.za we accept Pounds, $$$$ and Shekels……..
The ‘Orange Grove’ material collection is starting to catch on, with a few Posted letters and e-mails with Picures …have a look at some of the well known land marks, and if you have ANY pictures, just scan and send……… http://stantgsm.com/list_info.php
Gatiep & Meraai stap uit die Spar met 'n pram.
Meraai kyk in die pram en skree "Dissie verkere kind!"
Gatiep: "Hou djou bek, dis 'n beter pram!"
The big news at the moment is the ‘Who Dunnit’ mystery of the death of Brett Kebble, 5 years ago, and I am not so sure it is such a mystery, as they have the Shoooooters, now exactly whay happened, BUT….’Dos helft nit’ (does not help) as they Shooooooters have been given indemnity for evidance, and I must say, if Agliotti’s testomony in the Selebi trial was anything to go by, then we are in for a real Circus for the next few weeks…..What a ‘Skanda’….really a wrotten story….and I see that the Editor of Noseweek, Mr Welz was on the ‘Hit list’ also….these Manne really mean’t to take out any one in their way…..What a waste of Tax payers money, for NO result…and in the whole scheme of things, Brett Kebble was a Human, with a family, friends etc…most probably a ‘BIG GUNNIF’, BUT…still a human……Really Shreklach that they will openly get away with everything…..and I see that Mr Welz, the Editor of Noseweek, was on the ‘Hit List’….Mmmmmm , must have been really getting down to the ‘Emess’..
A guy walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter, methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying the scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he approaches the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
The idols ‘Poep’ has been staged Methinks, as it has happened soooo many times before on other Idols shows….I reckon it just brings people back to watch the ‘Drivel’ of the first few rounds….On a Seriaaaaaaaaaaaas note, once the Idols get to the last few, there are really some E-mazing Acts, BUT…..Methinks to get the people back, they have created this PR event…see the famous ‘Poep’ , or should I say HEAR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JQa4tAC9nQ
The amount of ex Pats coming in for Simcha’s is quite E-mazing, and I reckon that the average Simcha sees at least 10 Overseas couples…….and of course the reverse is also happening on a big scale, as the Souff Effrikken ‘Yidden’ are always travelling across the Sea for Simcha’s……..saw Dovie & Michelle Marks who were here from Tooo-Run-Tooo for Dovie’s cousin ,Les Matison’s Zunnelle’s Barmy ….and Dovie ‘s sister Carol (Marks) Felder came ALL the way from KAAPSTAD for the Simcha……..always see the Felder’s at the Marais Street Shul in Cape Town……..talking of which, ‘our’ Assistant Rabbi at Sandton Dovid Wineberg, leaves Sandton to take up the post of Rabbi at the Marais Street Shul, just before Yomtov and we wish him well…….a very Dynamic ‘Droshe Maker’…….no ‘Shloffing’ in his Sermons….for the latest news, views and pictures @ Sandton Shul www.sandtonshul.co.za ……… saw a few Manne at ‘KOSHER NANDO’S’ ……I met Raymond Jankelowitz (Oz) who has come with his wife Sheryl, to see the Kinderlach & Einingklach ( normally other way around)….Ray, is part of the Jankelowitz family who were well known at the old Jewsih Guild, with his Dad the Late Phil, being Chairman, and the 3 ‘Boytjies’ Ray, Harold & Selwyn were good sportsman, and Ray’s Zunnelle Stephen was also a champion bowler in his youth……..their Schvester Terry Kitay is also in Oz and her husband Martin was the Local ‘Tooth Fairy’ (Dentist) in Sandton….
David Louis (Tooo-Run –Tooo) & his brother in Law Ian Carno (London - part of the Carno Triplets), were in Joburg to see family, and of course ‘Prof ‘ Harry Joffe (Discovery) was there with his usual Friday foursome ………Pictures
http://stantgsm.com/list_pics.php ...I also bumped Sol J Diner at the Sandton Shul, and he is always in and out of the ‘beloved Country’ and reckons that I never mention seeing him…Sol stays in Oz these days, BUT…..has still got 3 Zunnelle’s here……..and of course plenty Einingklach……..
THE GREATEST BUMPER STICKER EVER ………………………
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED FOR THE SAME REASON (Otazay..)
How can you tell if a man is happy? ...........Who gives a ‘continental’….?????
How are men and parking spots alike? ………The good ones are always taken.
Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. ……(Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaik…).
Vicky Friedman has a GR8888 send up of Gina Smukler’s show, Mamamamama – Mia see her Newstime on Gina Shmukler ……GR8888 reviews…
http://www.newstime.co.za/column/VickyFriedman/Move_over_Meryl_Streep_-_Meet_SA%E2%80%99s_Dancing_Queen/85/1986/
Talking about shows, another ‘old’ Chaver Bev Bryer, who worked in the Simcha Industry for years, is involved with the Soweto Gospel Choir (not really Gospel) just the name, and they have a show is at Cadogan Hall, near Sloane Street in London 4/5th August…..and they have the E-mazing Bala Broers also performing…GR8888888 show for ex Pats……Get there………………
Gail is coming to visit ‘OUR’ (Their) Parents Home later in the year, and asks if anyone has a a ‘old’ Pineware hand bread slicer....WWW What Was , Was, and I think everyone got at least ONE for their Kitchen Tea in those days ( 30 years)..If anyone one has got one, and does not use it, please contact Gail...I had a similar request last week, and gave OURS...as we do not use it anymore.......
gail.weinstein@btinternet.com It has those 4 rubbers on the corners…sure U know
The easiest way to source Simcha ‘Wekkers’ & suppliers is to ‘Gib A Kuk’ at ; http://www.stantgsm.com/simcha/sg.htm
Happy Birthday to my Chaver & old partner Dennis Cohen for his birthday this week………I again forgot his birthday on Tuesday, and I state publically, that he has never forgotten mine……..about 20 years ago, both families and the Kinderlach flew to the USA on Holiday, and in NY we went our different ways, and co incidentally, we were booked on the same flight home from JFK…and he joked that we would have a ‘Schnapps’ as it was his birthday…and half way through the flight he reminded me about his ‘BIG’ day, and I have stuck to the rule of forgetting ever since…Happy birthday ‘Buddy’…..60 is getting closer…
Mazeltov to Talya (Kobrin) & Rafi for their Chasener in London on Sunday………
I did Talya’s parents Debbie (Factor) & Brian’s wedding ‘amolikke Yoren’ at the Simon Kuper Hall, and wish the whole ‘Mishpocha’ Mazeltov……E-mazing how many guests are going from all over the World to the Chasener…..Ros, Brian’s Mom, Beila his ‘Tanie’, Barbara his Schvester, Philip Carr are a few that I know that are going, BUT….there are many more….Debbie’s Late dad was Tony Factor, and Brian was at Highlands….Mazeltov to the whole family…Chossen and Kallah’s……This is going to be a ‘PARTY’……………….
Mazel Tov to Ryan Beder who had his Barmy at the Capri late week……..Ryan is the Zunnelle of Barry and Merle (Osrin) ….. Mazeltov grandparents Woolfie and Maureen Beder and John and Rachel Osrin……..Barry ( smiler) is of course the ‘Balabos’ of the Tiberius Fish Shoppe, on the Sandringham Strip in the Shetl, and ‘Amolikke Yoren’ he used to Cater at the HOD with his Mom Maureen, who was out here from Stamford, USof A for the Barmy……. Mazeltov to the ‘Ganser’ Mishpocha’…See http://stantgsm.com/list_classifieds.php
Sincere condolences to Dr Issy Rudolph and his children, David, Michael and Merle, on the passing of their wife and mother, Naomi …she will be sadly missed by all….Long story, BUT….Issy’s Late father Meishe (Morris) Rudolf was my Late Bobba Chaya Ryzel Smookler’s sister…..must say this ‘Geni’ family Tree is really something……Sincere condolences to the whole family….
Sincere condolens to the Lichter family on the loss of Marina who will be sorely missed….Marina used to make Wedding Cakes, ‘Amolikke Yoren’, and I remember her Icing the Barmy cake for my Late Mom, when it was my Nephew Mike’s Barmy, 20 years ago…a gentle well ilked ‘Lady’ who was always ready to give a hand……..met Marina about 35 years ago, as she was friendly with our old house Doctor harry Glaser (Rose Bay, Sydney)……..Worked with Marina’s Schvester Fiona at the Sandton Sun…many years ago…. Sincere condolences to the whole family…
Sincere condolences to the Amoils family on the loss of their Beloved Valda……at rest at last…. The Amoils family are well known, BUT…..I remember then from ‘Amolikke Yoren’ as my Hotelschool was just around the corner from their Hotel, The “Springbok”, which I think is still in Town, near Park Station …Terry, their daughter is married to Alan Golombick my ‘old’ Highlands North High Chaver……Sincere condolences to the whole ‘Mispocha’…………..
MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week
Call; Mark Kramer @ MANTIS (011-487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with his experienced staff.
Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos….…
From Stan and the Clan.
smookler@netactive.co.za
PRO – Stan & Pete Caterers (Corporate) and Medical Aid Broker Supreme!!
Cell- 082-4547860
B”H
Rabbi Yossy Goldman,
Sydenham Shul,
Breaking Bread, Making Bucks
Man does not live by bread alone. A famous line but what does it mean?
The verse comes from this week’s Torah reading and is a reference to the miraculous Manna, which fell from heaven daily during the Jewish People’s sojourn in the Wilderness. The conclusion of the verse is that man lives by the word of G-d. Thus, it is reminding us about the true source of human sustenance.
Contrary to popular belief, it is neither our earthly toil nor the sweat of our brow nor all those conferences, meetings and sales seminars that ensure our success.
The reality is that it is G-d who sustains us and looks after us. In the very same way as our ancestors trekking through the desert were totally dependent on Him for their daily bread - believe it or not, so are we. Wealth is a G-dly gift. At the end of the day, it is not our hard work or business acumen alone that provide our prosperity but the blessings from above which endow our efforts with success.
Ask anyone in sales. How often have their best laid plans and pitches come to naught and then, out of the blue, a big order comes in with little or no effort. Of course, it’s not the rule and we must be prepared to put in effort if we are to succeed. But when it does happen, it reminds us that there are higher forces beyond our control at work.
One of the things I have a particular appreciation for is a good ad. Some years ago, McDonald’s was running a campaign and in the center of the full magazine page was a big, fat, juicy double burger. It was literally bursting from the roll on either side. The bread was dwarfed by the beef and the caption read, “Man does not live by bread alone.”
A good ad indeed. But no ad agency will convince me that Scripture meant to teach us that bread is inadequate and what man really needs in life is meat! What the Torah is teaching us is something about the nature of men and women and the spirit of humanity.
The human spirit is such that we crave more than bread. Now “bread” colloquially means money and symbolically refers to all things material. So man does not live by bread alone means that Man simply CANNOT live by bread alone, that human beings cannot possibly be satisfied with bread or money or materialism alone.
Money is important but we cannot live by money exclusively. What about job satisfaction? I know a number of individuals in our community who willingly gave up lucrative positions for less rewarding ones because they found their work unstimulating. They were making lots of cash but there was no emotional reward.
I also know people who have it all financially but who are nonetheless unhappy people. They are very successful and very miserable. The successes we achieve do not guarantee our happiness. After we’ve bought the house of our dreams and our fantasy sports car and all the latest electronic toys we tire of them all. For satisfaction to be lasting it must be more than material, it must be spiritual. We need more than bread and money; we need stimulation and a sense of meaningful achievement. To know that our lives have purpose and that somehow we have made a difference. We want to be assured that our work is productive and will have lasting value.
They tell the story of an old Russian labor camp and a long-term prisoner whose job it was to turn a heavy wheel attached to a wall on the prison boundary. For no less than 25 years the prisoner worked at his backbreaking manual labor. What kept him going mentally was the conviction that this wheel must be attached to a mill on the other side of the wall. He assumed that his revolving wheel turned the mill and that he was thus helping yield plentiful crops of grain to feed and nurture thousands of people. After 25 years of hard labor when he was about to be released to freedom, the prisoner asked to be shown the mill and the apparatus behind the prison wall. Tragically, he discovered to his shock that there was nothing! The wheel was just a wheel – the crass authorities’ instrument of manipulation and torture for no useful purpose. The man collapsed in a dead faint, absolutely devastated. His life’s work had been in vain.
Men and women need to know that their life’s work is purposeful, physically and spiritually. When we understand that every good deed is attached to a complex spiritual apparatus and that our every action meshes with a systematic structure of cosmic significance, then our lives become endowed with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.
We desperately need to know that, in some way, our work is helping others - that we are making a contribution to society beyond our own selfish needs. Then, we are living. Then we are happy.
Man does not live by bread alone. We cannot. We dare not. There’s more to life than bread and money.